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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S01E01)

"It was written by an anthropologist named Dr., Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So you don't want coffee?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'd been in a long-distance relationship with Victoria for nearly a month,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"God, that is so me at 15."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Altrucel was most well-known for making the yellow fuzzy stuff"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"on the surface of tennis balls,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, this was a huge company, so they did other things,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Blauman, Bilson, this is Marshall. These guys are in legal."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and then, top off the package with a New York Times, ready?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hey! How was your first day? - I don't want to talk about it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? - They're jerks."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh! Does she cut the crusts off your sandwich, too?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What's that? - Nothing. Give it!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, no. Now she doesn't."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But will you be happy,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Did she love it? - Oh, she loved it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What did you have for lunch today?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mmm-hmm."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SIGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Maybe it just can't be done."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I think it's clear what I have to do."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"it's just like Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez in Life Among The Gorillas,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's an anthropological study. Isn't that cool?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And it's cool. And I'm doing it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm portraying someone who succumbs to peer pressure."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And that meant gorilla lessons,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"on a lazy Sunday afternoon."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Get what done?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Eriksen, that was steak sauce!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I would bet you a gazillion dollars. No, I'm even more confident."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Steak sauce? - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and if you got to know them, then you would see that."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Okay? - Okay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Who's there? Angelina Jolie, wait, in a wheelchair."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Really? I thought you'd be totally into it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You gotta go with some Black Sabbath. - Oh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You could quit your job and focus on your painting,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Your package has always been big enough."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You may not realize this, Marshall Eriksen,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I think Victoria's about to break up with me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Like, I remember how she makes me feel, I just don't completely remember her."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; It turns out some things are worth preserving,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Your friends are still out singing karaoke, but you're home early,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CELLPHONE RINGING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hello?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; When your Uncle Marshall was 10 years old,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"he read a book called Life Among The Gorillas."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and it told the story of the year she spent"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"living among the western lowland gorillas of Cameroon,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"When Dr., Birnholz-Vazquez"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"came to the local community college to give a lecture,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, the youngest member of the audience,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"raised his hand with a question,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What advice do you have for a budding anthropologist?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, you want to be an anthropologist?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yep. When I grow up, I want to go live with the gorillas just like you did."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; What she said next changed his life,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, that's wonderful, but I'm afraid you can't."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"They'll all be dead by then."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And if economic sanctions and trade restrictions aren't enforced,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"the destruction of the rainforests will continue,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and over a million species will be wiped out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm saying that the coffee industry is causing irreversible..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- All right, I'm pouring it out. - Okay, one cup."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Kid needs to be alert. First day on the job and everything."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Still can't believe you're going all corporate on us."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The Kid has become the man."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, it's just an internship to make a little money."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"After law school, I'm still gonna work for the NRDC."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"They're gonna stop global warming."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; Well, I mean, they did their best,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Here's your sack lunch."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CHUCKLING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay. I love you because, one, you made me a sack lunch,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and, two, you laugh every time you say the word "sack.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CHUCKLES)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I love you, Marshmallow. - I love you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"TED: I love you, too, Marshmallow."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Uh-oh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Ted? - Oh, no!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No, she didn't. - Yeah. Yeah, she did."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Another care package?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; Another care package,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Long-distance relationships are a bad idea,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- How many is that so far? - Three."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"In the mail or in my mind? Zero."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She's up three-zip."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh! Cupcakes. Great."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I bet they're delicious, too."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Damn it!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I don't deserve these delicious cupcakes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"God, I hate myself right now."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; Marshall was going to work for a big corporation called Altrucel,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But mostly, they wanted the public to focus on the yellow fuzzy stuff,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Anyway, Marshall managed to score an internship in their legal department"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"because he knew someone who worked there,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(PHONE RINGING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Go for Barney."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mr., Stinson, this is Willis from lobby security,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sorry to bother you, but we've had reports of a Sasquatch loose in the building,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- A Sasquatch? - That's right, sir, A Bigfoot,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We don't want to alarm you, but he's been spotted on your floor,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yes! Look at you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're suited in an unmistakably upward direction."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Whoa! That is a butt-Ioad of motivational posters."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah. Hell, yeah. I got them all. "Teamwork, courage, awesomeness.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Sit. - Hey, so, now that I'm working here,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"are you finally gonna tell me exactly what your job is?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING) Please."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- My dawg! - My dawg!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're gonna be working with them."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall Eriksen. Nice to meet you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Nice tie. Steak sauce. - Oh, steak sauce. For true, though."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Where? I don't see any... - Marshall, sidebar."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Your tie is steak sauce. It means A-1. A-1? Get it? Try to keep up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, Eriksen. Let's get to work. It's 2:00 a.m. It's raining outside."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ding-dong. What? The doorbell?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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