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Clips from NewsRadio - Apartment (S05E05)

"naked women going to the bathroom and stuff like that?"
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"I could sing."
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"Yeah, that will really suck 'em in."
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"Why, you must be sweltering in that dress."
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"Okay. Before I decide who deserves the apartment,"
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"you're gonna have to answer a few questions."
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"What kind of questions?"
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"Oh, you know, the usual."
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"Question one."
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"If I was walking around in the desert,"
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"would you give me a drink?"
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"What?"
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"Well, yes, I would give you a drink."
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"Lisa. From my own canteen."
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"Oh, come on. Look, this-- This is dumb."
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"You don't want that apartment, do you?"
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"All right. All right. I'll shut up."
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"what would you give me?"
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"Tea. Cocoa."
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"Are those your answers?"
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"I'm switching to soup. Stickin' with cocoa."
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"Who is your favorite member of the Brat Pack?"
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"Emilio Estevez."
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"Ally Sheedy."
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"Mm. Sorry. No points awarded."
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"The correct answer is Judge Reinhold."
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"Judge Reinhold. LISA: Matthew."
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"Judge Reinhold is not a member of the Brat Pack."
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"Okay. Lightning round."
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"If my name weren't Matthew, what would you name me?"
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"From another country? Helga. Maria."
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"Oh, I'm afraid we have a dead heat here."
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"What? Don't worry."
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"I'll just come up with some more, uh, questions"
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"Why don't you take some parting gifts? Vitamins. Pencils."
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"[♪]"
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"What's up?"
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"I have something to tell you."
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"I'm pregnant with your baby."
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"Whoa, heavy."
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"Shouldn't we be married?"
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"Hey, kids."
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"Beth, you know a marriage based in a big city newsroom like this"
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"doesn't stand a chance."
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"Hey, what the hell's going on?"
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"[QUIETLY] We're spicing it up for the camera."
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"Oh, you got any hits yet?"
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"A 150 so far. Wow."
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"[LOUDLY] Okay. I will leave you two lovebirds in peace."
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"A Jamesmont soda."
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"A fully-owned subsidiary of Jimmy James Incorporated."
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"What? Dave says we can use"
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"our lunch hour to check out that apartment."
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"That sounds like fun. Oh, that's great."
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"Oh, um, are we going to be married or not?"
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"Stay tuned."
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"I'm getting a very"
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"sort of Dave-y kind of vibe."
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"Actually. Well, me too."
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"Wait a minute. Over here I'm getting a real--"
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"Real Lisa feeling."
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"Right here, you're picture of your mom on the wall."
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"With you on the couch right here"
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"this place had a gourmet kitchen."
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"Well, neither one of us is much of a cook. Yeah."
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"Oh, that's a shame. It's gorgeous."
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"It's got those gleaming white sinks."
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"And that Hansel and Gretel oven--"
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"need never go hungry again."
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"who do you picture living here? Mm-hm."
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"Oh. Uh..."
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"I abstain."
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"Look, you guys wanted to see the apartment."
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"Just the thing is, Dave,"
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"Well, I've made a decision that avoids the problem entirely."
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"And what's that, Maxie?"
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"I've decided to vote."
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"Well, good."
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"For myself."
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"I want this apartment."
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"And I will have it!"
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"Well, it's like you said. It's a lovely space."
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"You're obviously a woman with impeccable taste."
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"Yes. I think so too."
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"Ah. Au revoir to you."
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"She wasn't taking any more applications."
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"Well, I think she was very impressed by my Peabody Award."
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"This is totally outrageous. You know that."
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"We've suffered for this apartment"
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"without having to deal with you too."
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"I live in an extended-stay motel"
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"Do you have any idea what that's like?"
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"Yeah."
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"that fort and..."
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"Look, you're trying to take the place away from us."
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"I bet you didn't even notice the crown moldings."
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"You didn't mention it has the finest"
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"gourmet kitchen ever seen."
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"Well, so what?"
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"For a foodie,"
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"a gourmet kitchen is indispensable."
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"A foodie?"
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"One who appreciates,"
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"nay, adores"
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"food."
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"Now, if you'll excuse me,"
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"one of us has to work for a living"
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"so we can pay for our new apartment."
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"[SIGHS] Inflicting suffering on him is pointless."
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"He already lives in Fort Lee."
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"[CLEARS THROAT] How am I doing?"
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"Good. But you can't move. Keep still."
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"Okay. Okay."
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"Are people gonna buy this?"
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"That you're an alien?"
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"That I'm a dead alien."
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"Not if you keep moving your lips."
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"I'm just gonna cut into the plaster breast plate,"
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"If I go past that, just say when."
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"Get the-- Get the lens cap. Oh, God."
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