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Clips from NewsRadio - Apartment (S05E05)

"Great, 'cause I'm a huge fan of moldings. Ah."
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"That shouldn't be a problem. So do I get it?"
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"that needs to take a look. Oh. [KNOCKING ON DOOR]"
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"Hi, I'm sorry I'm late. Hi, Miss Miller. How are you?"
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"Yeah. Are you? Yeah."
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"[♪]"
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"Created with Garrelliware. Oh, good."
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"about who we are, what we do, right?"
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"It's not some guy. It's Bigfoot."
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"And she's pregnant."
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"I know we haven't had a whole lot of hits,"
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"for the past six months."
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"Then, uh, after that, I'm just gonna pull the plug."
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"What the hell is that?"
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"That's me, isn't it?"
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"On my rock in the park."
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"[SOBS] Oh."
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"Okay."
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"I saw it first. I win. I get the apartment, all right?"
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"No way. No. Yes."
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"Dave, you know what? There is one thing"
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"What? She wants a reference."
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"Oh, Matthew, have you seen Mr. James?"
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"Yeah, he's in your office. Oh, great."
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"Can you give me a personal reference for--?"
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"First is first. Whoa, whoa."
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"No, no, we-- You see, sir, we both want this--"
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"Actually, one of us deserves."
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"Yeah. This really excellent apartment, right?"
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"Would you shut up? All right. All right. All right!"
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"And you'll abide by my judgment?"
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"Since there is no possible way to make a decision"
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"and tell me which one gets the reference. Thank you."
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"Well, because, Dave... What?"
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"Very funny joke, Max."
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"They need black-out curtains. What?"
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"Why on earth do those windows need black-out curtains?"
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"So the sunlight doesn't reflect off the big screen TV."
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"I just assumed because you're fighting so much."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Who needs the Internet? I got sex right here."
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"Okay, so you're staying here?"
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"Yeah. We do lack a certain competitive edge."
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"really, really thirsty,"
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"Just answer the question."
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"Soup. Good call, David. Ah."
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"Okay. Let's see. Question three."
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"Craig. Kent."
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"If I was a girl?"
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"Megan. Suzanne."
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"Gorbleena. Matthew."
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"What is the final score? Yeah."
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"and we'll settle this out."
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"Joe."
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"I-I just came to get a soda."
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"Hey, everybody. Field trip."
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"[♪]"
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"Oh, yeah. It's like a warm spot in a pool."
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"Oh, yeah, Dave. I could totally see you in this place."
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"With you on the phone here talking to your mom."
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"Hey. You guys didn't tell me"
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"The man who lives in this apartment"
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"You've seen the apartment. Let's get back to work."
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"it's very hard to choose between the two of you."
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"[♪]"
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"I cannot believe the landlady is doing this."
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"Oh, come on, Max. Fort Lee is great."
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"Otherwise known as a glutton."
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"Otherwise known as a connoisseur."
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"Okay. Now, listen."
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"Okay, now let's cut this bad boy open."
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"[♪]"
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"Okay, folks, we've all had a chance to hear"
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"Now Dave here has made a commitment"
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"Yeah, well, so are books."
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"I choose Dave."
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"Okay. Duly noted. Beth."
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"That's one for Max."
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"So..."
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"Well, sir, are you gonna break the big-ass deadlock?"
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"Well, Dave, it's an emotional issue we got here, all right?"
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"I'm talking about a tie-breaking vote on the Internet."
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"You got half an hour to prepare your statements."
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"until I read the script."
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"Mr. James, if I asked you to describe Mr. James,"
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"sure makes a girl hot."
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"Okay. So we interrupt this program to bring you"
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"So they would have seen it before he did--"
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"Okay, time. Dave Nelson, I saw it first."
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"And after all, what's more important than family?"
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"Time."
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"I can't believe you would sink that low."
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"You'll be the first person we have over."
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"Huh. Hounds?"
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"We gave it our best shot."
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"I mean, we got all kinds of hits and viewers"
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"in-- In the..."
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"Oh, no."
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"Oh, my God. It's the ghost of the alien."
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"[IMITATES LASER BUZZING]"
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"[SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]"
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"And you'll notice the moldings are in very good shape."
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"Mm-hm. All original."
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"Now, the toilet is a little temperamental."
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"But it's functional."
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"I wouldn't have my toilet be any other way."
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"Now you will see the, uh,"
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"occasional roach in the kitchen."
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"Well, we're all God's children, huh?"
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"You really want this apartment, don't you?"
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"Desperately. I just lost the lease"
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"on the place I'm living in now"
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"and this place is perfect for me."
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"Everything does seem to be in order."
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"But you do need a reference."
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"You're in the running. But I do have another applicant"
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"Are you looking at this apartment?"
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"Not anymore. Well, we used to be."
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"Joe, could I see you for a sec? What's up?"
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