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Clips from NewsRadio - Apartment (S05E05)

Correct me if I'm wrong but this is the official WNYX web page.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but this is the official WNYX web page."

NewsRadio

Am I correct?

"Am I correct?"

NewsRadio

That's where people come to learn a bit more

"That's where people come to learn a bit more"

NewsRadio

It's all about information. Good.

"It's all about information. Good."

NewsRadio

I was just checking. 'Cause see, this web page is crap.

"I was just checking. 'Cause see, this web page is crap."

NewsRadio

You know what?

"You know what?"

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I'm guessing you're new to all this Internet stuff.

"I'm guessing you're new to all this Internet stuff."

NewsRadio

For the uninitiated, a lot of this can be confusing.

"For the uninitiated, a lot of this can be confusing."

NewsRadio

How can it be with only three things?

"How can it be with only three things?"

NewsRadio

"Joe Garrelli's College Basketball Pick of the Week."

""Joe Garrelli's College Basketball Pick of the Week.""

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I'm 10-6 against the spread.

"I'm 10-6 against the spread."

NewsRadio

Some scam where you get college girls

"Some scam where you get college girls"

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to e-mail you their phone numbers.

"to e-mail you their phone numbers."

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Presented as a survey, which is totally legal.

"Presented as a survey, which is totally legal."

NewsRadio

of some guy lying on a rock.

"of some guy lying on a rock."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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Joe, this sucks.

"Joe, this sucks."

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but word of mouth takes a while to build up.

"but word of mouth takes a while to build up."

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I've been giving you extra Webmaster pay

"I've been giving you extra Webmaster pay"

NewsRadio

All right. Please don't cut the Webmaster pay, okay?

"All right. Please don't cut the Webmaster pay, okay?"

NewsRadio

Just give me till the end of the week

"Just give me till the end of the week"

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and I'll fix it. No, till the end of the day.

"and I'll fix it. No, till the end of the day."

NewsRadio

Well, that is the official WNYX crappy web page.

"Well, that is the official WNYX crappy web page."

NewsRadio

No, not the web page.

"No, not the web page."

NewsRadio

Who's that lying on that rock?

"Who's that lying on that rock?"

NewsRadio

It's Bigfoot.

"It's Bigfoot."

NewsRadio

No, it isn't. Where'd you get that?

"No, it isn't. Where'd you get that?"

NewsRadio

Dude, I'd like to tell you

"Dude, I'd like to tell you"

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but that would put the life of a trusted source in jeopardy.

"but that would put the life of a trusted source in jeopardy."

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Shirtless.

"Shirtless."

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Looks like a pregnant Bigfoot to me.

"Looks like a pregnant Bigfoot to me."

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Well, maybe it is.

"Well, maybe it is."

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It won't be the first time I've been used like this.

"It won't be the first time I've been used like this."

NewsRadio

Thanks for covering, Joe.

"Thanks for covering, Joe."

NewsRadio

No problems.

"No problems."

NewsRadio

Keep those pictures coming.

"Keep those pictures coming."

NewsRadio

Yeah, you were there, like, 15 minutes before I was.

"Yeah, you were there, like, 15 minutes before I was."

NewsRadio

Yeah. That's how first works.

"Yeah. That's how first works."

NewsRadio

Dave, I need that apartment. My apartment is tiny.

"Dave, I need that apartment. My apartment is tiny."

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Yeah? Well, I'm gonna lose my apartment.

"Yeah? Well, I'm gonna lose my apartment."

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Yes. My apartment is tiny

"Yes. My apartment is tiny"

NewsRadio

Really? I used to come over to your place.

"Really? I used to come over to your place."

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You never mentioned it.

"You never mentioned it."

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Because I wanted you to keep coming over.

"Because I wanted you to keep coming over."

NewsRadio

Uh-huh. It's a calculated risk.

"Uh-huh. It's a calculated risk."

NewsRadio

All right. Well, I guess ultimately

"All right. Well, I guess ultimately"

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this comes down to a decision by the landlady.

"this comes down to a decision by the landlady."

NewsRadio

Right. Yeah, well, on paper,

"Right. Yeah, well, on paper,"

NewsRadio

at least, we're pretty much the same.

"at least, we're pretty much the same."

NewsRadio

I mean, same age. Same occupation.

"I mean, same age. Same occupation."

NewsRadio

Same credit history. Right.

"Same credit history. Right."

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But I saw it first. I win.

"But I saw it first. I win."

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that will differentiate the two of us.

"that will differentiate the two of us."

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So whoever gets the best reference, gets the apartment.

"So whoever gets the best reference, gets the apartment."

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Yeah, I suppose that's true.

"Yeah, I suppose that's true."

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Sir, I need a-- Shh. I asked him first.

"Sir, I need a-- Shh. I asked him first."

NewsRadio

Come on. Whoa, whoa!

"Come on. Whoa, whoa!"

NewsRadio

I sense a little hostility

"I sense a little hostility"

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between my two favorite radio personalities.

"between my two favorite radio personalities."

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No, just a little friendly rivalry.

"No, just a little friendly rivalry."

NewsRadio

Oh, yeah? You two sleeping together again?

"Oh, yeah? You two sleeping together again?"

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No. No.

"No. No."

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Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed"

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because you were yelling at each other, so...

"because you were yelling at each other, so..."

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But we both need a personal reference from somebody--

"But we both need a personal reference from somebody--"

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I asked him first. Shut up. Shut up.

"I asked him first. Shut up. Shut up."

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You both want my reference?

"You both want my reference?"

NewsRadio

Well, yes, sir. You're the only

"Well, yes, sir. You're the only"

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world famous media mogul we know.

"world famous media mogul we know."

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Yes. Mm-hm.

"Yes. Mm-hm."

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No whining, fighting, crying?

"No whining, fighting, crying?"

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And whoever doesn't get my endorsement will live with that?

"And whoever doesn't get my endorsement will live with that?"

NewsRadio

Right. Mm-hm. Okay.

"Right. Mm-hm. Okay."

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My decision is--

"My decision is--"

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between these two fine employees, I am asking you,

"between these two fine employees, I am asking you,"

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the staff, to make the decision for me.

"the staff, to make the decision for me."

NewsRadio

What is this, an election or something?

"What is this, an election or something?"

NewsRadio

No. It's a popularity contest.

"No. It's a popularity contest."

NewsRadio

I want you guys to talk about it amongst yourselves

"I want you guys to talk about it amongst yourselves"

NewsRadio

Well, why?

"Well, why?"

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You already have a pad.

"You already have a pad."

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A pad! Get it?

"A pad! Get it?"

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[LAUGHING]

"[LAUGHING]"

NewsRadio

All right. Well, why don't you tell us about the apartment?

"All right. Well, why don't you tell us about the apartment?"

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Okay. It's a pre-war one-bedroom,

"Okay. It's a pre-war one-bedroom,"

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has beautiful views, hardwood floors.

"has beautiful views, hardwood floors."

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And also, it's by the park so I can get a dog.

"And also, it's by the park so I can get a dog."

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And?

"And?"

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And that's about it. DAVE: Really?

"And that's about it. DAVE: Really?"

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Interesting that you didn't even mention the alcove.

"Interesting that you didn't even mention the alcove."

NewsRadio

Perfect for a big screen TV.

"Perfect for a big screen TV."

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Or that every apartment in the building gets free cable.

"Or that every apartment in the building gets free cable."

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when you have those beautiful bay windows?

"when you have those beautiful bay windows?"

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I was just thinking the same of you.

"I was just thinking the same of you."

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Why don't you two just share the apartment?

"Why don't you two just share the apartment?"

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Why would we do that?

"Why would we do that?"

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aren't you?

"aren't you?"

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No. No.

"No. No."

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That's what I thought.

"That's what I thought."

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They fight when they have sex?

"They fight when they have sex?"

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Ooh, kinky stuff.

"Ooh, kinky stuff."

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I like it.

"I like it."

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Who wants to see the grand opening

"Who wants to see the grand opening"

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of the new WNYX website?

"of the new WNYX website?"

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You bet I am. Alrighty. Good.

"You bet I am. Alrighty. Good."

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I'm coming. Count me in.

"I'm coming. Count me in."

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All right, Joe.

"All right, Joe."

NewsRadio

Where's the, uh, web page extravaganza?

"Where's the, uh, web page extravaganza?"

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You're in it. What?

"You're in it. What?"

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Ta-da. What's going on?

"Ta-da. What's going on?"

NewsRadio

The latest breakthrough in WNYX web page technology.

"The latest breakthrough in WNYX web page technology."

NewsRadio

The 24-hour break room Internet-cam.

"The 24-hour break room Internet-cam."

NewsRadio

We're on the Internet right now?

"We're on the Internet right now?"

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Twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week.

"Twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week."

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the real inner workings of a big city newsroom.

"the real inner workings of a big city newsroom."

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Hello, geeks.

"Hello, geeks."

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Beth, those are our fans.

"Beth, those are our fans."

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Oh, you don't really think they're watching, do you?

"Oh, you don't really think they're watching, do you?"

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Why not?

"Why not?"

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Don't these live Internet feeds have, you know,

"Don't these live Internet feeds have, you know,"

NewsRadio

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