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Clips from The Simpsons - A Star Is Torn (S16E16)

"$5.99."
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"I don't know what to do for dinner now."
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"Put whatever you want in this burlap sack."
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"We'd feel better and live longer."
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"No fair."
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"It's 'cause your bodies are so used to processed food,"
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"Yes, it is."
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"Stop it."
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"I think I puked up all of my meanness."
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"Whenever I enter a contest, I tell myself I'm going to win"
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"But seriously, cruelty to animals is no laughing matter."
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"A-B-C-D-E-F-G"
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"I can't believe I used to date him."
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"That's gonna sing, yes, it is, y'all"
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"And if that mockingbird don't sing"
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"That's gonna shine."
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"I may not know much, but I do know talent"
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"well done."
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"where nobody sucks."
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"She's good."
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"Looks like they love you, kid, and the audience is always right."
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"You and I are going to write and sing our way"
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"Let Daddy go talk to the man."
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"Hey, these are Red Vines."
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"Hey, give me a break."
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"No one asked you to yell and slash!"
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"Bart, you want to go to the video arcade?"
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"Who's next?"
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"We are."
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"I didn't have my usual songwriter tonight."
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"So I took a stab at writing my own song."
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"You were vicious, malicious."
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"I'm sorry I hurt you."
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"But please don't be sad."
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"You're no longer my coach."
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"Look. Cameron's about to sing the song I wrote for him."
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"I'm gonna get your table."
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"You suck, Johnny Rainbow."
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"Ah-ha, en garde."
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"Nicely done, Wind-dancer."
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"You can make a difference."
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"Spay and neuter your pets."
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"And remember, save the violence for cartoons."
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"For details, log onto PETA.org."
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"All right, kids, let's do this quick."
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"After this, I got to record 27 seasons"
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"of DVD commentaries, and I remember nothing."
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"Today, we'll pick the lucky children who will get to compete on the air."
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"I was going to be your celebrity judge,"
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"but then I realized I'd have to pay attention."
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"So instead, we'll use the Applause-O-Meter."
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"Now, let's get this over with!"
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"How I wonder what you are."
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"Thank you."
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"Lis, you're a shoo-in."
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"Hush, little baby, don't say a word Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird"
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"Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring"
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"Oh, it shines so bright."
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"Lisa, that sounds like a fancier version of the song you're going to sing."
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"And she's giving us the emotional experience of a lifetime."
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"Oh, thank you for this angel, Lord."
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"This contest is moot."
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"A Li'l Star has been made."
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"When she sings a "C," it's a "C.""
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"Unlike a certain glee club I've wasted my life on."
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"We have our first contestant:"
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"Clarissa Wellington!"
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"There's no way I'm going to beat her."
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"Don't lose hope, sweetie."
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"I'm going to write you a song so great, you can't lose."
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"And that's not just the beer talking."
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"Your father's in here, too."
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"When a man loves a woman..."
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"Which one are you, the man or the woman?"
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"Questioning the kid's sexuality--"
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"Here you go, honey."
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"Sing this."
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"How did you write a song so quickly?"
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"Much of the tune is plagiarized."
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"Now go, go, go."
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"I've been to Paris and London and Tokyo town"
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"But one crazy burg has 'em all beat hands down..."
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"Jacksonville?"
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"I'm talkin' Springfield. You can buy chimichangas"
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"Talkin' Springfield"
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"The chicks have big gazongas?"
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"There's tires on fire"
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"A guy named Apu"
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"And Skinner, and Grandpa"
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"And ol' Disco Stu."
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"Did I forget to mention you?"
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"You?! That's me!"
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"I'm talkin' Springfield"
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"Except for Flanders."
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"I get it, I get it."
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"I wish I could say the same about my stockbroker."
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"Ah, what do you jerks know?"
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"That's a quality joke."
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"You did it, sweetie."
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"No, we did it, Dad."
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"She's right, it was all me."
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"I really do like working with you, Dad."
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"Will you keep helping me?"
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"Of course, sweetie."
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"out of this godforsaken hellhole."
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"But your song said you liked Springfield."
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"I wrote it about Shelbyville, then changed the names."
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"Good job, sweetie."
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"Every time you hit that note, I'll shoot a glass with my BB gun."
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"I really appreciate your taking such an interest in me, Dad."
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"Honey, our time together is precious to me."
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"I didn't want to say anything,"
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"but I don't think I'm going to be around much longer."
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"Really? What's wrong?"
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"Well, Moe's getting a big screen TV in February,"
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"just in time for the Pro Bowl."
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"Maybe this time my beloved blue shirts will win."
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"Is it possible to get a green spotlight?"
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"Sorry, sweetie, we don't have green."
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"May I have a word with you?"
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