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Clips from Farzar - Robot Revolution (S01E01)

"Get these fucking Men's Warehouse monkeys out of here and sass up them cowboys."
Farzar
"I want to see heads nodding and finger waving."
Farzar
"I have a special surprise for you, Master."
Farzar
"Mm, color me intrigued."
Farzar
"The first thing I did was scour the galaxy"
Farzar
"looking for a water planet where squid weren't extinct."
Farzar
"[mysterious music playing]"
Farzar
"I had my work cut out for me."
Farzar
"Luckily, time moves slower on Planet HR13."
Farzar
"A minute on Farzar is a thousand years there."
Farzar
"The only way these squid were going to learn music"
Farzar
"was to evolve over generations."
Farzar
"As the centuries turned to millennia,"
Farzar
"I had to claw my way back from the edge of insanity."
Farzar
"But after spending eons with these squid, I had finally altered their evolution"
Farzar
"so they could play electric guitar, bass, drums, and sing lead vocals."
Farzar
"But the music was soulless."
Farzar
"I realized that they needed life experience"
Farzar
"to truly embody the spirit of rock and roll."
Farzar
"I proudly present to you,"
Farzar
"after living countless lifetimes of torment,"
Farzar
"Rock and Roll Squid!"
Farzar
"Yuck. Get 'em out of here."
Farzar
"[dance music playing]"
Farzar
"Easel-bot's done propping up two things:"
Farzar
"stupid fucking signs"
Farzar
"and my dumb fucking marriage."
Farzar
"-Whoo! -[glass shatters]"
Farzar
"Ah!"
Farzar
"Let's have some real fun."
Farzar
"[action music playing]"
Farzar
"Hello, I'd like to order a rush-delivery pie fight."
Farzar
"What you are doings?"
Farzar
"Shut up and give me a boost."
Farzar
"Almost done."
Farzar
"Yes!"
Farzar
"Hey, don't touch the girls."
Farzar
"[chuckling] Yes!"
Farzar
"Momma?"
Farzar
"Chaos!"
Farzar
"[giggles] Somebody order a rush-delivery pie fight?"
Farzar
"Chaos!"
Farzar
"♪ She's got tentacles That were eight feet long ♪"
Farzar
"♪ I wanna love you, pretty baby All night long ♪"
Farzar
"What the fuck is happening? Are those Rock and Roll squid?"
Farzar
"Chaos!"
Farzar
"[heavy metal playing]"
Farzar
"Did I do that? I really lost control in there."
Farzar
"So did Billy."
Farzar
"I make a hot sticky mess in the fur"
Farzar
"right when I see woman with shaved hole where she pee from."
Farzar
"If you hadn't pulled me out of there, I don't know what would have…"
Farzar
"Wait. Did you say you came?"
Farzar
"Moving on."
Farzar
"Maybe instead of chaos-celot,"
Farzar
"you be chaos-celittle."
Farzar
"[both laugh]"
Farzar
"Fuck this guy."
Farzar
"I can't believe you took over my class and caused a student uprising!"
Farzar
"Well, you put a bag over my head."
Farzar
"What, am I too scary for ya?"
Farzar
"Oh, please. You're not scary. You're embarrassing."
Farzar
"You look like the worst parts of Hot Topic."
Farzar
"There are no worst parts of Hot Topic!"
Farzar
"[both grunting]"
Farzar
"Gonna kick our ass!"
Farzar
"Will yous two shut up? You think you got it bad?"
Farzar
"Look at me, your brother, Sal."
Farzar
"You two don't even let me touch our vag, like, ever."
Farzar
"The point is you two need to stop bitching about every little fucking thing"
Farzar
"and find some fucking common ground."
Farzar
"I think there's one thing we can agree on."
Farzar
"I'll be back!"
Farzar
"I came alone, like you asked. What do you need to warn me about?"
Farzar
"Scootie, I don't know how to say this,"
Farzar
"but someone very close to you is about to betray you."
Farzar
"Barry?"
Farzar
"No, someone you consider a really good friend."
Farzar
"Easel-bot?"
Farzar
"No, like your best friend."
Farzar
"Oh my God."
Farzar
"-Barry? -I said it's not Barry!"
Farzar
"Was it the scientist with the weird hair?"
Farzar
"That's Barry."
Farzar
"That's Barry? I thought Barry was the chick with two heads."
Farzar
"[dramatic chord plays]"
Farzar
"I hereby sentence this robot to death"
Farzar
"for increasing my bullshit meter to the second highest level,"
Farzar
""In my office now, McNulty.""
Farzar
"-Some friend you turned out to be. -Trust me, it was for the best."
Farzar
"[moaning]"
Farzar
"Sorry, I just learned how to hug."
Farzar
"They can kill me,"
Farzar
"but they can't kill my loyalty to this movement."
Farzar
"Like I've always said,"
Farzar
"the Slag Slam is the friends you make along the way."
Farzar
"-That's not what-- -I have no fucking idea what it is, okay?"
Farzar
"Oh God! [sobs]"
Farzar
"I miss my son so much."
Farzar
"[whirs]"
Farzar
"-[whirs] -Wait a minute, I have a taint."
Farzar
"I have a taint!"
Farzar
"I'll see about that."
Farzar
"Damn, he's right."
Farzar
"Dad, now that he's human, we can't just kill him."
Farzar
"I mean, we need to give him a trial, and that seems like a lot of bullshit."
Farzar
"You're right, son. Sorry about the mistake, Scootie."
Farzar
"I hereby restore all your human rights."
Farzar
"Yes!"
Farzar
"Scootie, what does this mean for us?"
Farzar
"I may be part human again, but I have just one thing to say to all of you."
Farzar
"Fuck y'all! Get back to work, you goddamn stupid robots."
Farzar
"[laughs]"
Farzar
"Whatever. Who are we executing next?"
Farzar
"Fuck off, you art-hating fascist."
Farzar
"I made a papier-mâché model of my asshole. You can all kiss it!"
Farzar
"[parade music playing]"
Farzar
"Ah, this couldn't be more perfect."
Farzar
"This will ensure my place in the history books."
Farzar
"What the hell?"
Farzar
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