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Clips from Farzar - Robot Revolution (S01E01)

"No! No, stay with me."
Farzar
"You're not dying on my watch, you son of a bitch."
Farzar
"[machine beeping]"
Farzar
"[flatline beep]"
Farzar
"I'm sorry. I couldn't save him."
Farzar
"No!"
Farzar
"Wait, what was the goal here again?"
Farzar
"I'm very lonely."
Farzar
"I'ma miss you, dick. I'm sorry about that time I stuck you in hot lasagna."
Farzar
"Well, it did spice up my birthday dinner at the Olive Garden."
Farzar
"But don't worry, Scootie. I can build you a robotic penis that is far superior."
Farzar
"[electricity crackling]"
Farzar
"Lucky for you, I designed it after mine."
Farzar
"Can I get a Black or Pacific Islander scientist in here?"
Farzar
"[adventurous music playing]"
Farzar
"♪ Farzar ♪"
Farzar
"Fichael, this has to be my favorite keepsake."
Farzar
"I had Barry reanimate part of the brain. Look what it can do."
Farzar
"♪ If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe I'd been married a long time ago ♪"
Farzar
"[vocalizing]"
Farzar
"[laughs]"
Farzar
"I'm so proud of you, Fichael."
Farzar
"Proud enough to give you your first daddy hug."
Farzar
"Wow, both hands?!"
Farzar
"You're welcome. That should hold you over for another 30 years."
Farzar
"Since we're bonding, I've been meaning to talk to you"
Farzar
"about your treatment of the aliens."
Farzar
"How about, instead, I give you a promotion?"
Farzar
"This is my bullshit meter."
Farzar
"Your job is to keep it under level "Oh Hell Naw.""
Farzar
"You're putting me in charge of the bullshit meter?"
Farzar
"What an honor. But again, Dad, we really need to talk about alien rights."
Farzar
"Uh-oh, Fichael, you just took us to bullshit level,"
Farzar
""Don't make me take off my goddamn belt.""
Farzar
"[alarm blaring]"
Farzar
"[screaming]"
Farzar
"Morning, S.H.A.T. Squad. Big news."
Farzar
"I finally got touched by my father."
Farzar
"And he said you could tell? Oh, damn you, Daddy!"
Farzar
"Why didn't you let me brag to my friends about touchy time?"
Farzar
"Hello, traitor."
Farzar
"Bazarack, you're alive!"
Farzar
"And why do you have zits and a wispy mustache?"
Farzar
"Because you cut my head off, and I'm having to grow a new one,"
Farzar
"and it's going through puberty, asshole!"
Farzar
"Sir, it's time to put the rubber bands on your braces."
Farzar
"Get out of my room or I'm gonna kill myself!"
Farzar
"Zobo."
Farzar
"Is that a… You let a fucking chaos-celot into your city?"
Farzar
"What's a chaos-celot?"
Farzar
"They feed on chaos, stupid."
Farzar
"They leave death and destruction in their wake."
Farzar
"For example, that little rosé shit signed me up for Wacky Hat of the Week Club,"
Farzar
"and I can't figure out how to cancel it."
Farzar
"Look at these stupid hats."
Farzar
"Well, this one's cool."
Farzar
"All right, I like this one too."
Farzar
"[old lady chuckles]"
Farzar
"Wow, this one's just delightful."
Farzar
"Okay, I love 'em all."
Farzar
"But the point is he'll bring your city to its knees, you idiot, and--"
Farzar
"[whispers indistinctly]"
Farzar
"I mean, he's not a chaos-celot."
Farzar
"Bye-bye."
Farzar
"Oh, that was a close one."
Farzar
"You were almost a chaos-celot."
Farzar
"You know, if Dad finds out Bazarack's alive,"
Farzar
"he may never touch me again."
Farzar
"Where's the rest of the team?"
Farzar
"-It's Mal's day to go to work with Val. -How about Scootie?"
Farzar
"He's been hard at work designing himself a new robotic penis."
Farzar
"[drill whirs]"
Farzar
"Now this is a penis."
Farzar
"[chuckles]"
Farzar
"Look. You can play Oregon Trail on this shit."
Farzar
"[video game music playing]"
Farzar
"Oregon Trail?"
Farzar
"That thing looks more like it'll leave a trail of organs."
Farzar
"Yes, I'm still here."
Farzar
"Isn't that thing a little big?"
Farzar
"Are you kidding? This is a pussy magnet."
Farzar
"No, this is a pussy magnet."
Farzar
"But if I turn it on, it will violate my probation."
Farzar
"Billy think Scootie insecure"
Farzar
"and big penis just makes self feel better."
Farzar
"What do you know? Ladies love my new penis."
Farzar
"[sultry music playing]"
Farzar
"-You wanna take this to the next level? -I thought you'd never ask."
Farzar
"Now, where were we?"
Farzar
"[footsteps, door slams]"
Farzar
"[car engine starts]"
Farzar
"[engine revs, tires screech]"
Farzar
"[Barry] You, uh, want me to get her back for you?"
Farzar
"-What the hell are you doing here? -I'm here to watch."
Farzar
"-You don't get to watch me have sex. -Check your user agreement."
Farzar
"I'm so excited we're going to my job today."
Farzar
"I just love teaching preschool."
Farzar
"What if I just did it? Huh?"
Farzar
"[scoffs] Stop being so dramatic, Mal."
Farzar
"Just put on your VR robotic headset and shoot some virtual puppies."
Farzar
"Fuck yeah, I shoot puppies."
Farzar
"That's what you do when you're fucking hard."
Farzar
"[barking]"
Farzar
"[in baby talk] Ooh, come here, puppies."
Farzar
"I love you, puppies. I do. Give me those kisses."
Farzar
"There's my number one teacher."
Farzar
"Still haven't got that boil removed, huh? Mind if I take a look?"
Farzar
"Oh, you. [chuckles]"
Farzar
"I mind!"
Farzar
"You can play hard to get, but I will see that boil eventually."
Farzar
"It's my only character drive."
Farzar
"Boil! Boil!"
Farzar
"Boil! [cackles]"
Farzar
"What the hell do you want?"
Farzar
"You're in front of my cubby."
Farzar
"Oh, sorry."
Farzar
"Boil! Boil!"
Farzar
"Boil! [cackles]"
Farzar
"[heavy metal playing]"
Farzar
"[man] Denise Death Wish has jumped over 17 hover buses on a sonic-cycle."
Farzar
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