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Clips from Farzar - Robot Revolution (S01E01)

"Get your tiny asses off those hamster wheels. We on strike."
Farzar
"Fichael, you better get down there and end this strike, quick."
Farzar
"I'm on strike too."
Farzar
"Oh, no, you don't, Vibrator-bot."
Farzar
"Get your little, shaky ass back in there and keep my wife happy!"
Farzar
"-Ah! -[crashes]"
Farzar
"[sinister music playing]"
Farzar
"So you're starting to like those wacky hats, huh?"
Farzar
"What do you mean "wacky hat"? My mother left me this in her will."
Farzar
"Bazarack, the dome protecting the human city is down."
Farzar
"We need to attack at once."
Farzar
"Wrong again, stupid."
Farzar
"This is a moment for the history books."
Farzar
"We're gonna need some stuff for my dramatic entrance."
Farzar
"A full marching band, 10,000 black doves,"
Farzar
"snappily dressed monkeys on stilts, sassy cowboys."
Farzar
"We don't know how long the dome will be down."
Farzar
"Can't we just storm the city now?"
Farzar
"Uh, let's see. Fuck and no."
Farzar
"Now I'm also gonna need karate wizards, disco sluts, rock-and-roll squid."
Farzar
"Rock-and-roll squid? First of all, squid are extinct."
Farzar
"Second, even if they weren't, they couldn't play instruments."
Farzar
"Figure it out."
Farzar
"[train horn toots]"
Farzar
"Okay, kids. We are going to make some macaroni art today,"
Farzar
"but don't tell your parents."
Farzar
"And why is that?"
Farzar
"[kids] Art is a felony."
Farzar
"That's right. Our leader's not fond of it."
Farzar
"[Scootie] Attention all overhead projectors,"
Farzar
"pencil sharpeners, and Ms. Radcliff's artificial heart,"
Farzar
"all robots are on strike!"
Farzar
"Strike! Strike!"
Farzar
"Cinnamon? Ju-Ju Bean? Where are my snuggle puppies?"
Farzar
"Why is there a bag on my head?"
Farzar
"Would you keep it down? I'm trying to teach these kids about art."
Farzar
"Art. Psht."
Farzar
"They should be learning age-appropriate life skills,"
Farzar
"like how to overthrow an oppressive regime and skull-fuck their enemies,"
Farzar
"and sight words."
Farzar
"Okay, this is my class and I will teach what I want."
Farzar
"All right, let's let them decide."
Farzar
"Kids, would you rather learn how to glue macaroni like criminals"
Farzar
"or how to kill a man using only two fingers?"
Farzar
"[chanting] Kill a man! Kill a man!"
Farzar
"But I already started my macaroni art."
Farzar
"You heard him, men. Take him away."
Farzar
"I trusted you, Tito."
Farzar
"[scoffs] We played blocks together, you son of a bitch!"
Farzar
"All right now, Zobo, Daddy's got to go quell a robot rebellion."
Farzar
"You'll be safe with this monster."
Farzar
"Billy, you don't mind watching him, do you?"
Farzar
"But bitchy yellow man with delightful pussy hats"
Farzar
"say Zobo chaos-celot."
Farzar
"Yes."
Farzar
"You mean Bazarack? You can't trust him. Have you seen his credit score?"
Farzar
"Besides, it'll be easy. Zobo's just a little baby."
Farzar
"Just be sure he doesn't leave this room. Be good, Zobo."
Farzar
"[in baby voice] Zobo."
Farzar
"[in man voice] Ugh. I thought that needy ape would never leave."
Farzar
"You look like baby, but you sound like mans."
Farzar
"And you look like your mother fucked the entire circus."
Farzar
"Now listen, you fucking skunk chicken,"
Farzar
"I lifted Princess Fecal's wallet."
Farzar
"We're gonna go out and have some fun tonight."
Farzar
"But Fichael says do not leave room."
Farzar
"Relax, I just want to go to the playground."
Farzar
"[dance music playing]"
Farzar
"Oh boys. Why Billy's dingus get hard like Play-Doh left in sun, hey?"
Farzar
"My robot brothers, this isn't just a strike."
Farzar
"It's a revolution."
Farzar
"We can't stand idly by, and…"
Farzar
"You know what? This speech is truly inspiring, but it's really long."
Farzar
"I'ma just airdrop it to you."
Farzar
"[beeping]"
Farzar
"[cheering]"
Farzar
"Scootie, you started all this?"
Farzar
"[screams]"
Farzar
"A human? Scootie, should I give him the Slag Slam?"
Farzar
"We don't know what that is."
Farzar
"Sure you do."
Farzar
"It's either a song, a dance, or a fighting technique."
Farzar
"It's the Slag Slam!"
Farzar
"What are you doing here?"
Farzar
"It happens to be a very important part of my bullshit promotion."
Farzar
"I'm here to put an end to this strike."
Farzar
"The strike is over."
Farzar
"I just had to agree to all their demands."
Farzar
"What demands?"
Farzar
"They want free electricity, two years of AppleCare,"
Farzar
"and every other day, the robot toilets get to shit down our throats."
Farzar
"I think it's a good deal."
Farzar
"Fichael, when I said, "End the strike," I did not mean negotiate."
Farzar
"-I meant execute their leader. -But Scootie's my friend."
Farzar
"And I'm your goddamn father!"
Farzar
"And if you take care of this for me, I'll give you a kiss right on the forehead."
Farzar
"Really? Third Dad base?"
Farzar
"In the meantime, I hope Barry"
Farzar
"has finally come up with something to replace my robots."
Farzar
"Oh, I have."
Farzar
"Who needs robots when you have Crow-bots?"
Farzar
"Okay, crow, put my pants on properly."
Farzar
"[caws]"
Farzar
"[knocking on door]"
Farzar
"-Who is it? -[girl] The bloody fist of vengeance!"
Farzar
"Come in."
Farzar
"[yelling]"
Farzar
"Children! Stop this right now."
Farzar
"Yes! Kids, you've overthrown your first oppressor."
Farzar
"Fucking gold stars for everyone."
Farzar
"Val, I'm suspending you without pay."
Farzar
"I couldn't be more outraged."
Farzar
"Because of the student uprising?"
Farzar
"No, you lied about having a boil."
Farzar
"How would you feel"
Farzar
"if you spent countless hours jerking off in the heating vents to a lie?"
Farzar
"[sinister music plays]"
Farzar
"Am I seeing a pink space dragon?"
Farzar
"It's the only one we could find."
Farzar
"And you call that snappily dressed?"
Farzar
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