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Clips from Farzar - Robot Revolution (S01E01)

"She walked a tightrope over a tank of hypoglycemic samurai sharks."
Farzar
"She wipes back to front."
Farzar
"What death-defying feat will she try next?"
Farzar
"Whoo-hoo!"
Farzar
"Goddamn, she does have a death wish."
Farzar
"Wow!"
Farzar
"-This is so intense! -[vibration whirring]"
Farzar
"And it's only set to 0.5."
Farzar
"Point five? I live for danger."
Farzar
"Let's turn this bitch up to ten!"
Farzar
"I know this looks bad,"
Farzar
"but Denise Death Wish came over to my apartment and--"
Farzar
"Let me stop you right there. How does a robot have an apartment?"
Farzar
"Watch your mouth, man. I'm not a robot. I'm a cyborg. I'm human."
Farzar
"Nope, says here you are 100% robot."
Farzar
"Shit, that's right. My dick was my last human part."
Farzar
"As you know, robots don't have human rights,"
Farzar
"so I'm freezing your bank account, evicting you from your apartment,"
Farzar
"and deleting your Ralphs loyalty number."
Farzar
"How am I gonna get ten cents off gas every four months?"
Farzar
"-You ready for round two, lover? -I'll pass on that shit."
Farzar
"Well, if you change your mind, my cooter's hanging in that tree outside."
Farzar
"Welcome to your new home."
Farzar
"New home? [grunts]"
Farzar
"Man, this is a rough neighborhood."
Farzar
"You looking for a good temporal sub-routine?"
Farzar
"No, thanks."
Farzar
"How about I lick your asshole?"
Farzar
"Uh… ugh."
Farzar
"My girl is the best Ho-bot in town. She's been scanned for viruses."
Farzar
"[alarm blares]"
Farzar
"I didn't say she didn't have any. I just said she'd been scanned."
Farzar
"You must be new here, gleamer."
Farzar
"Best watch where you're going or Slag's gonna give you the Slag Slam."
Farzar
"What's the Slag Slam?"
Farzar
"What's the Slag Slam?"
Farzar
"Everybody knows what the Slag Slam is."
Farzar
"Tell him, Beeps."
Farzar
"I don't know what the Slag Slam is"
Farzar
"because you always threaten to Slag Slam someone,"
Farzar
"but you never actually do it."
Farzar
"You know what the Slag Slam is."
Farzar
"I made a whole line of Slag Slam merchandise."
Farzar
"Sure, but those products don't shed any light on what the Slag Slam is."
Farzar
"Look at this mouse pad."
Farzar
"It's just the words "Slag Slam" above a picture of you giving a thumbs up."
Farzar
"I mean, do you even know what it is?"
Farzar
"Of course I know what the Slag Slam is,"
Farzar
"and to prove it, I'll give this guy the Slag Slam right here, right now."
Farzar
"[suspenseful music playing]"
Farzar
"Ring ring. Uh, hello?"
Farzar
"Uh…"
Farzar
"My mum got bit by a cobra."
Farzar
"Those guys bothering you?"
Farzar
"I'm honestly not sure."
Farzar
"[intriguing music playing]"
Farzar
"Fichael, it's me. I had to put on this disguise to sneak in here."
Farzar
"Why would you need a Scootie suit to sneak in here, Dad?"
Farzar
"I'm not your dad, moron."
Farzar
"Fichael, your mom wants to have sex. Have you seen the mask I make her wear?"
Farzar
"Oh, there it is."
Farzar
"Listen. The cops are saying since I lost my last human part,"
Farzar
"I lost my human rights."
Farzar
"I need help."
Farzar
"Don't worry. I'll fix everything."
Farzar
"You restored my human rights?"
Farzar
"Better. I got you reassigned as my personal robot."
Farzar
"Now, we can be even better bestest friends,"
Farzar
"'cause you'll have to do everything I want, like…"
Farzar
"♪ If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe I'd be married a long time ago ♪"
Farzar
"[vocalizing]"
Farzar
"Can I practice kissing on you?"
Farzar
"Do I have a choice?"
Farzar
"No."
Farzar
"I love searching for sewer treasure with you, buddy."
Farzar
"Score! Water balloon!"
Farzar
"That's a used condom, dumbass."
Farzar
"What's a Slag Slam?"
Farzar
"-Giant milkshakes! -[whirring]"
Farzar
"I've had enough of this shit."
Farzar
"If you cared about me, you'd have helped me get my rights back,"
Farzar
"not made me your friendship slave."
Farzar
"Mm. [smacking lips]"
Farzar
"What is that taste?"
Farzar
"Hmm. That's Denise Death Wish."
Farzar
"I am beat."
Farzar
"Being Fichael's friend has to be the worst job a robot can have."
Farzar
"Sounds horrible. He must have shit down your throat, right?"
Farzar
"No? He didn't? Not even a little bit?"
Farzar
"-Why do robots put up with this treatment? -It's just how it's always been."
Farzar
"Well, I'm tired of it."
Farzar
"[inspirational music playing]"
Farzar
"They need us more than we need them."
Farzar
"We're not gonna take it anymore, because today, we--"
Farzar
"-Give 'em the Slag Slam! -I was gonna say we should strike."
Farzar
"[all cheering] Yeah!"
Farzar
"Yeah, strike. Then give 'em the Slag Slam."
Farzar
"Slag, I'm realizing that you only started talking about the Slag Slam"
Farzar
"after your son died."
Farzar
"My son died? I didn't notice."
Farzar
"Must have been too busy doing the Slag Slam."
Farzar
"[yawns]"
Farzar
"[thuds]"
Farzar
"Ow!"
Farzar
"Where the hell is my robot toilet?"
Farzar
"Pants-bot, put my pants on at once."
Farzar
"I guess I'll figure out how to put on my own damn pants."
Farzar
"Fichael, get out here! Where the hell are all the robots?"
Farzar
"How am I supposed to shit without a robot toilet?"
Farzar
"Why don't you use your regular toilet?"
Farzar
"I like a toilet that begs for mercy."
Farzar
"[chanting] Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!"
Farzar
"All the robots are on strike."
Farzar
"Fichael, you're not doing your damn job, 'cause I'm about to raise my level to--"
Farzar
"Hold your own fucking sign."
Farzar
"Not Easel-bot!"
Farzar
"He's an alcoholic, Fichael."
Farzar
"Without a steady job, he'll be at the bottom of a bottle and between two tits."
Farzar
"Dad, we have bigger problems."
Farzar
"Remember what powers the dome?"
Farzar
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