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Clips from South Park - D-Yikes! (S11E11)

"I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time,"
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"I'm goin out to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind,"
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"Ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor,"
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"I'm heading out to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind,"
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"I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with really big fat titties,"
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"So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine,"
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"Did I say something to you, Sugartits?!"
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"Have you lost your mind?"
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"in a while, you'd get more done!"
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"You guys, you guys, relax."
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"We don't have to read the book or write the essay."
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"No, there's people you can hire to do these kinds of things."
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"Que pasol?"
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"Looking for work? Si? Trabajo?"
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"- Yes. - We all can work, si."
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"Okay, listen up, Mexicans."
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"We need to have you read "The Old Man and the Sea" for us."
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"Comprende?"
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"La summararizia."
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"Okay, no problem."
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"Dude, that is awesome. I had no idea you could do that."
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"Are you okay, hon?"
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"Oh, you'd love it."
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"It's called 'Les Boux'."
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"Who is the new girl?"
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"But I'm not a-- Whoa. Whoa!"
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"I don't like being with men!"
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"Oh, goodness. No!"
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"Is it wrong, Janet?"
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"They better be done with the book reports!"
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"They'll be done."
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"Que pasol! Que pasol!"
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"What was it about?"
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"He try catch the feesh, but the feesh is very strong"
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"Okay, let's have em!"
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"Where are they?"
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"but I don't think he got the letter yet."
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"Dude, we're totally fucked now."
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"Why the hell would we pay you to write your friends?"
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"Son of a bitch!"
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"Yeah, I feel pretty good about it."
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"and I got a really nice letter from my esse"
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"Hello, class!"
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"And my nice little chalkboard."
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"Ms. Garrison, about our book reports--"
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"Really?"
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"Again?"
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"called Lesbos where I finally felt at home."
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"scissored all night long."
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"- Hey, Patty. - Wassup, Janet?"
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"Ooh, stop giving me that look, scissoring me with your eyes."
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"You guys!"
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"They're closing down the bar-- for good."
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"Well, it's true, I just talked to the owners."
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"This is happening all over the country, Mayor."
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"You have to be out by then."
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"They will cover that bar in cheesy blue carpeting,"
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"white statues and gold curtain rods"
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"My boss wants you to know that you will not be discriminated against in any way."
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"Men?"
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"No, this isn't crazy."
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"the new owners of their bar in--"
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"And told their co-workers how the 30 Lesbos were refusing to let them in."
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"I'll call more Persians for help."
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"The hours passed quickly."
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"And the lesbians boldly stood out front of their bar"
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"Remember this day!"
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"And many wanted to go shopping"
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"Here he comes."
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"Maybe we can dig up some dirt on the club owner."
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"It's okay."
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"Que pasol!"
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"who run Club Persh and dig up some dirt on the owner."
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"Okay."
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"They don't look Persian."
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"Sure they do!"
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"Put on a silk shirt,"
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"And Mexicans-- please hurry, our girl bar has very little time."
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"No, wait! Wait!"
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"Janet!"
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"He wants to talk to you and you alone."
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"It's time I met this rich Persian asshole face to face."
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"I don't know why you have to be all super lame about this."
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"And finally, I found a place that accepts me for who I am."
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"You'll make good money."
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"How? How did you find that out?"
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"You do, seriously?"
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"Unless they just kind of scissor or something."
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"Oh, yeah!"
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"Yeah, scissor!"
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"The school hired a substitute to cover for me."
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""D-Yikes""
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"Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation,"
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"God dammit! Stupid ass men!"
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"They're all the same!"
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"- Oh God. Here we go again. - All men care about is sex."
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"I spent two hours getting ready for that stupid date,"
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"and when the bastard checks out my body"
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"he just says "Hey, did you used to be a guy or something?!""
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"I'm a woman now, so what's it matter?!"
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"Oh, oh, this isn't good."
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"No, ma'am."
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"You boys make me sick,"
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"you're well on your way to being men who only think with their penises!"
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"I am assigning all of you weekend homework."
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"You are going to read Hemingway's book "The Old Man and the Sea.""
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"Oh, that's too bad, dude."
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"Maybe if you boys could keep your penises in your pants once"
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"But teacher, my penis never slips out my pants!"
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"Except sometimes when I'm wearing pajamas!"
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"If you do not have an essay written on Monday, then you will fail."
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"Is that clear?"
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"Dude, how are we supposed to read an entire book"
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"over the weekend and write an essay?"
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"Our whole weekend is shot!"
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"What the hell are we gonna do?"
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"We don't?"
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"Que pasol!"
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"Caprende? El old man y la mer."
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"- Okay. - Sure, okay."
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