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Clips from Scrubs - My Balancing Act (S01E01)

"without ever seeing her face."
Scrubs
"be sure to play it cool."
Scrubs
"In your face!"
Scrubs
"Took our first long drive."
Scrubs
"Ever since then, every date we've been on has always ended the same way."
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"No!"
Scrubs
"- But the page is addressed to Lillian. - That's me."
Scrubs
"What a drag."
Scrubs
"That was probably the wrong time to ask for a quickie."
Scrubs
"I am not going to call you by your names. I'll be referring to you"
Scrubs
"You, Chicken Beak."
Scrubs
"What causes pneumonia presenting with diarrhoea?"
Scrubs
"It turns out your mind's just as sharp as your nose."
Scrubs
"What are the elements of Whipple's triad?"
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"Children,"
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"you can't let that bloated bag of hate affect you."
Scrubs
"Being a doctor is as much about finding the answers as knowing them."
Scrubs
"So we have run tests for everything and according to these results..."
Scrubs
"Now, of course, if you are lazy and incompetent,"
Scrubs
"then, yes, that will buy you a one-way ticket out of here."
Scrubs
"Listen carefully. Kelso can't do a thing to you if you answer a question wrong."
Scrubs
"Johnny No-Tan? I'd like you to present the next patient to me."
Scrubs
"I ruv roo."
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"I've been thinking about this ''I love you'' thing."
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"It's gonna make everything so much better."
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"And?"
Scrubs
"I'm so sorry. That has never happened to me before."
Scrubs
"I wish I was that piece of bacon. Wait a second."
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"That's right."
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"You mind not staring at me while I'm eating?"
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"Staring."
Scrubs
"There. Now no one gets to eat it."
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"- You happy? - Not really."
Scrubs
"Even when our dates get interrupted, we can have a date here."
Scrubs
"Let's say you wanted to watch a movie."
Scrubs
"We could go to the conference room and watch that video on STDs."
Scrubs
"Tonight. Dinner. Hyde's."
Scrubs
"- Kuru? - Kuru."
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"- Kuru? - Yes, kuru."
Scrubs
"were members of a cannibalistic tribe in Papua New Guinea?"
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"- Do you happen to know what a zebra is? - He just mocked me."
Scrubs
"when it's more likely to be a common illness with uncommon symptoms."
Scrubs
"Cool."
Scrubs
"I'm at the filling station, but my credit card's declined."
Scrubs
"- I'm on the jet ski... - I got it!"
Scrubs
"Where you go...? Who am I going to talk to about sex?"
Scrubs
"Let's get our talk on."
Scrubs
"In fact, nothing he did seemed to scare us."
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"Not any more."
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"Not even the most horrible thing he could think of."
Scrubs
"For women that don't know how to cook. I put the Yellow Pages in there."
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"It's a cook... I'm flat-linin'. Beep!"
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"Save him!"
Scrubs
"Talk to me"
Scrubs
"I have never said ''I love you'' to a woman before."
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"Anyway, I told him it wasn't his fault. These things happen occasionally."
Scrubs
"I have cold hands, and..."
Scrubs
"So when I saw you this morning and I said ''How's your penis?''"
Scrubs
"no matter how long we tried,"
Scrubs
"Dr Cox, I got the sed rate back on Mr Yeager. Say ''how do'' to that."
Scrubs
"But then I'm due back at the hootenanny."
Scrubs
"Of course. Nurse, start Mr Yeager on solumedrol and get the surgery resident?"
Scrubs
"He needs a temporal artery biopsy stat."
Scrubs
"- You're off, aren't you? - I'm with you."
Scrubs
"Fair enough. Let's go treat the patient."
Scrubs
"I am so on top of things tonight, it's scary."
Scrubs
"You're only 80 minutes late. She'll still be here."
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"Please be here. Come on, Alex."
Scrubs
"You gotta be kidding me."
Scrubs
"There's a waste of a gift certificate."
Scrubs
"She's not having an orgasm."
Scrubs
"I've never even had an orgasm."
Scrubs
"Then I called, but there was no answer,"
Scrubs
"We're still cool, right?"
Scrubs
"I think you're a really good guy. OK? But..."
Scrubs
"- She's not blind. - Of course not."
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"How'd you drop the ball? Don't tell me you cried,"
Scrubs
"I can't even pretend I can give you tips on intercourse."
Scrubs
"but I think it's because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous."
Scrubs
"And since I was a kid, I've had nightmares about being crushed."
Scrubs
"The one thing I do know is that I've sabotaged a lot of relationships"
Scrubs
"When's your next laundry night?"
Scrubs
"Ted."
Scrubs
"It'd be great if you would go to traffic court for me and make this go away."
Scrubs
"Excuse me?"
Scrubs
"How is it, exactly, that you just said that"
Scrubs
"Or not."
Scrubs
"I don't prioritise you over my job, but I'd like to."
Scrubs
"I'll do anything in the world if you give me a second chance."
Scrubs
"Why are you wearing a nose-breathing thingy?"
Scrubs
"Baby, there's nothing that could scare me away."
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"Are we gonna get married? Are we gonna have kids?"
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"How many bathrooms? What if she walks in on you"
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"That's a little scary."
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"Carla?"
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"- But I love it that you do. - Yeah?"
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"That's what makes this relationship work."
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"you look out for what's up ahead."
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"- No, she's not. - I'm tell..."
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"it has a way of making your day go quicker."
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"any time before you leave the building."
Scrubs
"What do you say we shake things up?"
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"- I just think it's inappropriate... - Bob-o?"
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"< French TeAm > www.V2.Frigorifix.com"
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"Remember, no matter what she looks like,"
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"Yes!"
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"Yes! You are smokin' hot!"
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"Killed our first raccoon."
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"Cox wants me back at the hospital."
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"I have been coerced"
Scrubs
"Why do you have to do rounds?"
Scrubs
"Because I'm sleepy. How's that?"
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"To make this a more palatable experience for moi,"
Scrubs
"by whatever distinguishing physical characteristic occurs to me."
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"- Legionella. - Nice job."
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"And you, Dye Job."
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"It's hard to describe how scary it is when you don't know an answer."
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"What are you sorry about?"
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"Dr Kelso yells at us when we don't know..."
Scrubs
"For instance, take Clarabelle's patient here, Mr Yeager."
Scrubs
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