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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Thespian Catalyst (S04E04)

"...and whether or not they learn."
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"Penny."
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"Penny."
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"Penny."
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"- What? - You're an "actress," correct?"
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"I'm not an "actress." I'm an actress."
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"All right. You're an actress."
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"- I need you to teach me. - You want an acting lesson?"
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"Perhaps two. I'd like to master the craft."
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"Okay, where is this coming from?"
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"It has been suggested to me that acting techniques could improve my lecturing."
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"At which, if certain tweets and blogs are to be believed, I "suck the big one.""
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"I saw those. They were funny. I printed a few out and put them on my fridge."
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"So when can we start?"
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"Okay, just to be clear."
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"You are asking me for help because I know something..."
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"...that the brilliant Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't."
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"I suppose that's one way to look at it."
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"I think it's the only way to look at it."
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"- Are you going to help me or not? - Probably. Just enjoying the foreplay."
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"Does this mean you are done mocking my career?"
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"Oh, I'm sorry."
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"I thought making the transition from actor to acting teacher..."
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"...was the signal that one's career had reached the end of the road."
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"- Forget it. - I'll pay you $40."
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"Saturday, 9 a.m. Bring cash."
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"- Raj, I have amazing news. - What?"
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"Ha, ha. I just got offered a fellowship at the Weizmann Institute in Israel."
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"- Dude, that's incredible. - I know."
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"The only thing is, I'm gonna be gone for two years."
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"Oh, I'm gonna miss you."
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"- Are you going with him? - I have to stay for school."
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"That's what we're here to talk to you about. You see, Bernadette has needs."
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"What kind of needs?"
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"Sexual needs."
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"Most of them regular, some of them kind of messed up."
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"So while I'm gone, you're gonna have to satisfy her."
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"What do you say?"
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"I say okey-dokey."
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"What you thinking so hard about?"
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"Just that I'm definitely not gay."
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"Penny."
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"Penny."
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"- What's wrong? - Nothing. I was acting."
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"You were acting?"
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"Yes. In preparation for today's studies, I read Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares..."
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"...Stella Adler's The Technique of Acting..."
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"...Uta Hagen's Respect for Acting, and Henry Winkler's Eh, I'm an Actor."
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"Well, good for you. Come on in."
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"- How should we begin? - Well, I thought we'd start..."
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"...with some basic movement exercises."
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"You know, get our bodies warmed up."
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"- All right. - I just want you to relax..."
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"...and kind of move around in the space, you know."
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"Just do whatever feels natural."
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"- Sheldon. - You said to do whatever feels natural."
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"This feels natural."
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"Certainly more natural than what you're doing."
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"Gotta work with me. We need to get connected with our bodies."
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"Penny, my body and I have a relationship that works best..."
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"...when we maintain a cool, wary distance from each other."
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"You're the "teacher.""
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"Okay. One of the things that might help you..."
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"...in connecting with students is being a little more spontaneous."
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"Why don't we try some improvisation?"
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"Why not? It seems like you're improvising your entire curriculum."
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"I'm gonna create a character and situation and just jump in."
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"- All right. - All right."
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"Action."
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"Okay. It's not a movie, it's improv. So no one calls, "Action.""
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"Hey, you taught me something."
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"Who would've thought it?"
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"Ahem. Okay."
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"They are my biggest seller. Yes, ladies, sizes 6 through 10."
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"Thank you. Oh, sorry, I have to go. I have a customer. Bye-bye."
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"Hi, can I help you?"
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"I'd like a frozen yogurt, please."
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"Yogurt?"
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"Um, okay. Sure. You... Luckily, we sell both shoes and yogurt here."
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"You do?"
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"Yes. Look up at the sign and remember, improv is always about saying yes."
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"Yes."
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"I see a sign."
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"It says, "Camarillo State Mental Hospital.""
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"What?"
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"The only explanation I can come up with..."
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"...for why you think you sell shoes and yogurt."
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"Okay, you know what? Let's try a different improv."
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"Oh. This time, we will be two winos living under a freeway overpass."
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"You bet."
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"I had dreams, you know. I was gonna be famous."
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"Show everybody back home I could be someone. Now, look at me."
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"- Want some? - Do you have any frozen yogurt?"
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"I'm still not adjusted to how the Syfy channel spells their name now."
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"S-Y-F-Y. That's "siffy.""
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"Hello?"
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"- What happened? - Hang on, hang on."
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"Okay, thank you."
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"Howard was on his scooter and got hit by a truck."
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"Oh, no."
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"Did you hear? Isn't it terrible?"
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"Oh, my Howie."
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"It'll be okay."
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"It'll be okay."
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"It'll be okay."
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"It'll be okay."
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"It's Howard. Ahem."
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"Howard, hello."
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"Raj, is that you?"
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"Yeah, I'm here. How are you?"
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"Shh. Shh. Listen to me. I'm not gonna make it."
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"No, don't say that, you're going to be all right."
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"Raj, I don't have time. Now, pay attention."
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"My last wish is that you look after Bernadette."
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"Of course. Of course."
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"Now when you say "look after," you mean..."
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"Sexually."
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"Excuse me, Bernadette, I have to hear it from him."
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"Sexually."
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"Got it. Take care."
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