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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Desperation Emanation (S04E04)

"- So, what's going on with you two? - Oh, the status is as it always was."
The Big Bang Theory
"You don't feel any need to hang out with her, you know, be in the same room?"
The Big Bang Theory
"- Well, I sense judgment on your part. - No, no."
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"Who, by the way, also has a girlfriend."
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"Whom you may recall as the girlfriend of Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind."
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"Meemaw resisted at first, but now she loves it."
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"It's not a home. It's a senior center."
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"Great. You have a girlfriend, Howard has a girlfriend..."
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"- ...Sheldon's got a... - Ahem."
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"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I met her at Comic-Con."
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"The one place in the world where saying "I own a comic book store"..."
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"- Why don't you just break up with her? - Heh, no, I can't."
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"...with a stack of paperwork..."
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"Are you gonna let me tell the story or not?"
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"Oh, good point, Amy."
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"Simple. You want a girlfriend. Amy wants to be someone's girlfriend."
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"That is insane."
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"What am I supposed to do?"
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"What's with the T-shirt? You're working at the Apple store now?"
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"I know all your shirts, that's not one of..."
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"As if one of the plants..."
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"...from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way..."
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"No worries, I explained my predicament to our letter carrier."
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"- Hi, Amy. Sheldon's not here. - All right."
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"- Thanks again for doing this, Bernadette. - Oh, I take pacts very seriously."
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"...a Petri dish of genetically modified super-virus went missing."
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"Basically, a hundred different ways to rip a guy's nuts off."
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"Isn't she a pip?"
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"...Procyon A."
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"...Procyon A."
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"This lobster's good on the way down and the way up."
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"...and I don't want to be joined to another object..."
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"My apologies."
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"...simply to have a girlfriend."
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"And it's an open bar, so I'll probably be giving it away."
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"Oh!"
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"If they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie..."
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"...they could probably just make an actual Hulk."
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"That is apt and amusing."
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"I think I shall share that with Amy Farrah Fowler."
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"- She'll appreciate the witticism. - Thank you."
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"It will also help improve her initial impression of you."
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"She's a girl, she's a friend."
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"She's not my, please forgive me for doing this, "girlfriend.""
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"Right, right."
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"So you're still just texting and e-mailing?"
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"Leonard, you are my best friend."
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"I've known you for seven years..."
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"...and I can barely tolerate sitting on the couch with you."
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"Uh, imagine my attitude..."
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"...regarding prolonged physical proximity to Amy Farrah Fowler."
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"Got it."
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"Maybe a little."
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"May I suggest that your criticism is based on jealousy?"
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"Heh, jealousy? What do I have to be jealous of?"
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"I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female."
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"And you have none."
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"Oh, right. That. Hmm."
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"Jealousy is an ugly green-eyed monster, not unlike the Hulk."
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"In this iteration, Jennifer Connelly."
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"A feel-good romp if there ever was one."
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"I'm not jealous."
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"Leonard not jealous."
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"You know, it just occurred to me."
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"If there are an infinite number of parallel universes..."
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"...in one of them, there's probably a Sheldon..."
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"...who doesn't believe parallel universes exist."
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"- Probably. What's your point? - No point."
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"It's just one of the things that makes one of the me's chuckle."
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"- What makes you chuckle, Leonard? - Um, recently? Not much."
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"Is it because of the conflict that arises..."
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"...from your desperate need to pair bond with a woman..."
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"...and the apparent collective decision on the part of all womankind..."
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"...to deny you that opportunity?"
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"Um..."
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"Shut up."
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"You know, when my grandfather died and Meemaw was alone..."
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"...my Mom arranged for her to visit a center three times a week..."
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"...where she could socialize with other lonely people."
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"It's very nice."
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"They discuss current events, play bridge, get a hot meal."
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"- That sounds lovely. - Um, it is if you like bridge."
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"Do you like bridge, Leonard?"
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"Sheldon, I'm just not dating someone right now."
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"I don't need to go to a seniors' center."
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"Fine. If I don't meet someone soon, you can put me in a home."
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"We'd never put Meemaw in a home."
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"- Hey, guys. - Hey."
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"All right, I'll bow to social pressure. Hey."
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"Excuse me. That's my girlfriend Bernadette."
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"I assigned her own ring tone. "Bernadette" by The Four Tops."
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"Hello, Bernadette."
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"When I call him, his phone plays "Brown Eyed Girl"..."
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"...which now that I think about it is not so good."
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"You realize he's just rubbing our noses..."
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"...in the fact that he has a girlfriend and we don't."
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"You mean you don't."
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"You have a girlfriend? How could you have a girlfriend?"
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"- You can't even speak to women. - Deaf chick."
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"It doesn't matter if I can't talk because she can't hear me."
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"- What? - That's what she said."
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"What about you, Stuart? You have a girlfriend yet?"
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"...is an actual pick-up line."
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"- Oh. Well, good for you. - Not really. She's horrible."
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"When she wants to have sex, she puts on her plus-size Wonder Woman costume..."
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"...and shouts, "Who wants to take a ride in my invisible plane?""
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"- Why not? - Because then I'd be alone. Like you."
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"Dude, why don't you just invoke your girlfriend pact with Wolowitz?"
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"Uh, because I don't need his girlfriend to set me up with one of her girlfriends."
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"I'm perfectly capable of finding a girl on my own."
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"Oh, Leonard. You remind me of the funny old story about a man..."
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"...who walks into a women's correctional institution..."
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"...that would allow the female convicts to go free."
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"You're saying I couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a handful of pardons."
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"- Leonard? Are you sleeping? - No."
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"- Are you ill? - No."
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"Are you depressed because you're alone and no one loves you?"
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"I don't know. Maybe."
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"I want you to know that I'm genuinely concerned about your well-being."
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"- Thank you. - You're welcome."
The Big Bang Theory
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