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Clips from Family Guy - Prick Up Your Ears (S05E05)

"perhaps we could have sexual intercourse?"
Family Guy
"Count me in."
Family Guy
"I say, look at this. This toy has small parts."
Family Guy
"Why the devil would they include small parts?"
Family Guy
"I'm supposed to eat them. Of course, it all adds up!"
Family Guy
"Oh, dear God, I've lost a tooth."
Family Guy
"If you put that under your pillow,"
Family Guy
"the Tooth Fairy will come and give you a dollar."
Family Guy
"To our house? She just breaks in like some hood?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, she creeps into your house at night and comes into your room while you sleep."
Family Guy
"she cuts off a piece of her armpit hair"
Family Guy
"and places it gently on your tongue."
Family Guy
"Oh, oh, God! Oh, God, I got to get out of here! I got to get out of here!"
Family Guy
"Stewie, calm down. Get a hold of yourself."
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois, I wanted to get some K-Y Jelly"
Family Guy
"for the class today, but they were all out so I got Smucker's."
Family Guy
"Peter, I don't know what you think you're doing,"
Family Guy
"but you ruined my sex ed class. There's no way you're coming with me again."
Family Guy
"but without my advice, those kids are going to be as hopeless as Liam Neeson"
Family Guy
"when he tries to play an American cowboy."
Family Guy
"That's none of your concern. You got to take care of the offspring."
Family Guy
"This glen's gonna be tough to traverse,"
Family Guy
"and that river's got to be 50, 60 meters wide."
Family Guy
"And God knows how many fathoms."
Family Guy
"What is going on here?"
Family Guy
"We're all protesting the sex ed class that's being taught to our children."
Family Guy
"Mrs. Griffin, I'm sorry to have to tell you this,"
Family Guy
"Look, Principal Shepherd, I know my husband acted inappropriately..."
Family Guy
"It's because you're teaching those kids about condoms."
Family Guy
"What? That's ridiculous."
Family Guy
"These students have the right to information about safe sex."
Family Guy
"Well, these parents don't think so."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Griffin. You're fired."
Family Guy
"Fired?! Oh, no."
Family Guy
"I can't believe they fired you."
Family Guy
"Can't you go down the school and try to reason with them?"
Family Guy
"The PTA doesn't want me around their children."
Family Guy
"Well, Lois, I think you did the right thing"
Family Guy
"That's the problem, though. It isn't their loss, it's the kids' loss."
Family Guy
"I just hope they're getting the information they need."
Family Guy
"All right, students, we have a special speaker today"
Family Guy
"who's going to educate you about sex."
Family Guy
"Please welcome from the First Evangelical Church,"
Family Guy
"the Reverend Jerry Kirkwood and the Opal Ring Crusade."
Family Guy
"Hey, kids, put your Walkmans down and listen up."
Family Guy
"'Cause we're going to talk about sex."
Family Guy
"Sex? Hang on there, Jerry."
Family Guy
"God, what are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"- We can relate to that. - No fake."
Family Guy
"Well, God, I am here to talk to these kids about sex."
Family Guy
"Uh-oh."
Family Guy
"And why they shouldn't be having it."
Family Guy
"That is boss."
Family Guy
"Hey, you kids like Mad TV?"
Family Guy
"Well, we've got something almost as good."
Family Guy
"Here they are... The Opal Ring Players."
Family Guy
"Boy, I sure had fun at the pizza parlor tonight, Debbie."
Family Guy
"That joker must have been from Jefferson High."
Family Guy
"Well, here we are at the make-out point."
Family Guy
"Freeze! Now, who can tell me what Matthew just did wrong?"
Family Guy
"They're our rivals."
Family Guy
"He's wrong 'cause he wants to have sex and he's not married."
Family Guy
"- Bingo. - Wow, you're pretty smart."
Family Guy
"- Thanks. My name's Doug. - I'm Meg."
Family Guy
"Now, look, let's rap for a second."
Family Guy
"Sure, sex if fun, but you can't have it before you're married,"
Family Guy
"even if you use a condom."
Family Guy
"they're also majorly unsafe."
Family Guy
"Hey, you wouldn't put a plastic bag over your grandmother's head, would you?"
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"These rings are a symbol of your commitment"
Family Guy
"to refrain from sex until you're married."
Family Guy
"Who wants to be pure? Who wants to be... abstinent?"
Family Guy
"- Wow, he makes so much sense. - I know, he's a visionary,"
Family Guy
"like Gandhi or Mozart or Picasso."
Family Guy
"Ladies and gentlemen, my newest work."
Family Guy
"but, watch carefully. If I move this down here,"
Family Guy
"and this part here..."
Family Guy
"Okay, well, what if I move this here and this here..."
Family Guy
"Then it's Dianne Wiest."
Family Guy
"All right, men, your mission tonight is to stave off"
Family Guy
"the invading forces of the Tooth Fairy."
Family Guy
"SpongeBob, you watch the East."
Family Guy
"And Man-E-Faces, you take center patrol since you have many faces."
Family Guy
"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. It's morning."
Family Guy
"Is it?"
Family Guy
"Ha! I knew it! I scared her off."
Family Guy
"Uh, you might want to check under your pillow."
Family Guy
"How did she get in?"
Family Guy
"She must have been quieter than Britney Spears' dietician."
Family Guy
"Ea-Easy on those trans fats."
Family Guy
"N-Not everything needs gravy."
Family Guy
"You know, there's some carrots down at the other end."
Family Guy
"Her hand was right beneath my pillow."
Family Guy
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it will be a while before you lose another tooth."
Family Guy
"I can't wait for that."
Family Guy
"But to catch a fairy, I have to think like a fairy."
Family Guy
"If you want Brian to say : "Well, that'll be a stretch,""
Family Guy
"text-message FAMGUY1."
Family Guy
"If you want Brian to say : "I'm not touching that one,""
Family Guy
"text FAMGUY2."
Family Guy
"If you want Brian to say : "Arriba!" and dance around a sombrero,"
Family Guy
"text FAMGUY3."
Family Guy
"Thanks for voting."
Family Guy
"Arriba!"
Family Guy
"We now return to Laguna Beach."
Family Guy
"- Like, right? - I know."
Family Guy
"- Whatever, because "duh!" - I know, right?"
Family Guy
"Whatever, because I mean, like, totally full out."
Family Guy
"- Full on. - Right?"
Family Guy
"I guess it's not easy growing up anywhere."
Family Guy
"Hey, Dad, check out my abstinence ring. It means I made a pledge not to have sex."
Family Guy
"That's crazy! You can't give up sex. You've got a responsibility."
Family Guy
"You see, Meg, you're what they call a "practice girl.""
Family Guy
"Dad, look at the facts about sex."
Family Guy
""If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension""
Family Guy
""populated entirely by dogs who will eat it.""
Family Guy
"Well, that's something I'd like to avoid. Well, this changes everything."
Family Guy
"From now on, I, too, will be obstinate."
Family Guy
"- Abstinent. - Absinthe."
Family Guy
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