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Clips from Family Guy - Prick Up Your Ears (S05E05)

"- Abstinent. - You're grounded."
Family Guy
"All right, getting a tooth to lure"
Family Guy
"that damn fairy back shouldn't be too difficult."
Family Guy
"I'd love to dance, Fred Savage."
Family Guy
"Gosh, Meg, I really wish we could take our relationship to the next level."
Family Guy
"Of course, there are ways we could keep our pledge"
Family Guy
"and still do other things."
Family Guy
"You're right. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Family Guy
"Uh-huh."
Family Guy
"Oh, there it is. I see it."
Family Guy
"Well, we'll find out this Saturday."
Family Guy
"All right, Peter, you ready for role-playing night?"
Family Guy
"Here comes, Grimace. You got some burgers I can steal, huh?"
Family Guy
"Lois, the Hamburglar steals hamburgers."
Family Guy
"Grimace is Ronald McDonald's autistic friend."
Family Guy
"You... Peter, what the hell is this?"
Family Guy
"- My chastity belt. - A chastity belt?"
Family Guy
"- What in God's name is that for? - I'm abstinent, Lois."
Family Guy
"It's all in these pamphlets Meg brought home from school."
Family Guy
"Sex turns straight people gay and turn gays into Mexicans."
Family Guy
"Everyone goes down a notch."
Family Guy
"This is nonsense. You can't force abstinence on kids."
Family Guy
"Lois, what possible harm can abstinence do?"
Family Guy
"Mom!"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"You kids were doing it..."
Family Guy
"Hey, my sandwich tastes funny. Is there something wrong with the Smucker's?"
Family Guy
"Meg, I still cannot believe what you and Doug did last night."
Family Guy
"Mom, you don't understand. Doug and I are abstinent,"
Family Guy
"but if we have sex in the ear, it doesn't count."
Family Guy
"Meg, when I was your age, my parents tried to feed me"
Family Guy
"the same nonsense about premarital sex. You're lying to yourself."
Family Guy
"Well, I don't care what you think!"
Family Guy
"Doug and I are part of the Opal Ring Crusade,"
Family Guy
"and this is how we choose to express our love."
Family Guy
"Look, Meg, A) ear sex is just unnatural,"
Family Guy
"and B)... How do I say this?"
Family Guy
"Vaginal intercourse is..."
Family Guy
"it's just tops."
Family Guy
"It's the bee's knees, Meg."
Family Guy
"Oh, when you rattle it around just right..."
Family Guy
"oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"I mean, you remember when we had that old car with the bad shocks"
Family Guy
"and I used to take the old dirt road on purpose?"
Family Guy
"I love you."
Family Guy
"In local news, a sexy new trend has emerged at James Woods High."
Family Guy
"That's right, Tom. It appears that students have taken to having ear sex"
Family Guy
"in lieu of traditional intercourse."
Family Guy
"Over 200 reports of ear sex have been confirmed so far,"
Family Guy
"prompting a new slogan : "Once you go black,""
Family Guy
""you go deaf.""
Family Guy
"Brian, I'll be right back. I'm going to use the little girl's room."
Family Guy
"And it turns out these teeth I got from the old man are phony."
Family Guy
"I'm frequently aggressive in situations that don't call for it."
Family Guy
"- What the hell is that? - Ah, it's Jillian. She's, uh..."
Family Guy
"- My God, that's horrible! - I know, it really is."
Family Guy
"I mean, her hair is falling out. Last week she lost a tooth."
Family Guy
"Really?"
Family Guy
"But man, I'll tell ya, all that purging just makes her body look fantastic."
Family Guy
"And so many of them just look so great."
Family Guy
"I'm really surprised you invited me out for dinner, Stevie."
Family Guy
"It's "Stewie," by the way."
Family Guy
"Just to check in, make sure everything's going well with you and Brian."
Family Guy
"Well, you look fantastic."
Family Guy
"Got some meat on your bones, which is great."
Family Guy
"- What? - Just saying you look jolly,"
Family Guy
"like Ruben Studdard or John Goodman or Santa."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. Are you saying I'm fat?"
Family Guy
"Excellent. Now I'm prepared to fight the Tooth Fairy"
Family Guy
"just like Gerri fought comedy on The Facts of Life."
Family Guy
"Hey, Blair, did you find a purse at the mall?"
Family Guy
"Actually, I found seven."
Family Guy
"One for every day of the week."
Family Guy
"I'm wide awake, Peter."
Family Guy
"- You want to mess around? - Lois, you know I'm abstinent."
Family Guy
"Come on. Can't you break your stupid pledge for one night?"
Family Guy
"Well, I guess we do both have needs."
Family Guy
"This is all I can do, Lois. I'm abstinent."
Family Guy
"That is it."
Family Guy
"No!"
Family Guy
"No, no, no! I'm abstinent!"
Family Guy
"No!"
Family Guy
"No!"
Family Guy
"Oh, I see what you're driving at."
Family Guy
"Oh, that was fantastic."
Family Guy
"Hey, when'd you get that tattoo on your lower back?"
Family Guy
"I don't know, Peter. Meth is a hell of a drug."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"We'll show 'em somehow, Lois."
Family Guy
"I'll be more convincing than Mel Gibson when he apologized to the Jews."
Family Guy
"I'm really, really sorry about your big noses."
Family Guy
"I'm really sorry about how greedy you are."
Family Guy
"But most of all, I'm really sorry about your dirty,"
Family Guy
"underhanded, backstabbing ways."
Family Guy
"Your number-one dirty Jew fan, Mel Gibson."
Family Guy
"All right, Tooth Whore, do your worst."
Family Guy
"Stewie, what the hell? Get me down from here."
Family Guy
"No, way, man! How do I know you're not the Tooth Fairy in disguise?"
Family Guy
"- You think my girlfriend's a moron. - So does everyone!"
Family Guy
"You have a picture of Chris Noth in your wallet."
Family Guy
"Okay."
Family Guy
"Stewie, this is ridiculous. There's something I have to tell you."
Family Guy
"The Tooth Fairy isn't real."
Family Guy
"What?!"
Family Guy
"Look, I didn't want to burst your bubble since you're just a kid, but,"
Family Guy
"yeah, she's all smoke and mirrors"
Family Guy
"just like Harry Houdini."
Family Guy
"But I don't want to play bridge with the Petersons tonight."
Family Guy
"Harry, we agreed weeks ago, and we're going."
Family Guy
"Oh, wait a second!"
Family Guy
"Damn it! I am not going by myself!"
Family Guy
"Ah, you bitch."
Family Guy
"Oh, very well then."
Family Guy
"Peter, how are we going to get past the guard?"
Family Guy
"Lois, I think I just got an idea."
Family Guy
"He's tall enough for us to sneakin behind him. Come on!"
Family Guy
"So remember, sex is bad, immoral, and wrong."
Family Guy
"And if you have sex, you're automatically in Al Qaeda."
Family Guy
"He is wrong, he is feeding you lies."
Family Guy
"You should wait until you're in love."
Family Guy
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