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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Are You There Bob? It's Me, Birthday (S08E08)

"Oh, Hugo."
Bob's Burgers
"- Oh, Hugo. - Oh, shut up, Ron."
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"You know what? I'll do it. I'll call them."
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"But only if you can get Bob away,"
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"and keep him away until 7:00 tonight."
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"- Do we have a deal? - Deal."
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"- Now, let me hear you do it. - Do what?"
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"The call. What're you gonna say?"
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"Oh, uh. Hello, this is Linda."
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"- Is Hugo still single? - Sadder."
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"Is Hugo still single?"
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"Uh, so, how'd the auction go?"
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"He really does."
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"The bad news is I didn't find anything downstairs."
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"The good news is that I did find"
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"You need to, um..."
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"update and sign your safe food-handling license."
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"Might as well tear it up."
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"That's why you need to come down to the Health Department office"
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"In person. Right now. Or I shut you down."
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"Bob, maybe you should just go."
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"Take as much time as you need."
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"Uh, you? Drive? No, no, no, no, no."
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"W-Wait, what do you mean, "a certified vehicle"?"
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"Get in the van, Bob."
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"Or, as I like to call it, Health on Wheels."
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"and hide the fact that we all forgot your father's birthday."
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"And if we pull this off, we shall never"
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"speak of this in our family again."
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"We can do this. I mean, I love to plan parties. That's my thing."
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"All right, we need, uh, decorations and gifts"
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"I can be in charge of decorations."
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"- Great. - Yes!"
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"Gene, Louise, what do you want to be in charge of?"
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"slightly more back to full hotness."
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"All right, how about I give you ten dollars"
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"and you go ask Gretchen if she can fix it?"
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"And I'll do it for a discounted rate of only eight dollars."
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"But I don't have any change, so I'll just take this."
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"Okay, okay, just do it quick."
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"I'm gonna start making calls."
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"Everybody, hands in the middle."
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"Let's throw a party to cover up the fact"
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"we forgot Dad's birthday!"
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"Is that sound coming from the van?"
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"It's fine. It's probably just a rusty... wheel... plug."
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"- A rusty wheel plug? - That's not a thing."
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"Oh, are you both van experts now?"
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"And what do you think we do, Bob?"
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"You don't think we work, too, Bob?"
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"every restaurant in town."
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"- Ow! - Harassing people? Wow."
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"between the diners of this town"
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"and gastrointestinal catastrophe."
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"- Preach. - You know what?"
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"I'd like to show you something."
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"- make this day take longer? - Yes."
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"You're coming with us on an inspection."
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"No, no, no, no. No."
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"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
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"Welcome to your worst nightmare, Bob."
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"Except worse, because of all the violations."
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"Hugo, has this place even opened yet?"
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"Oh, is it nice food, Bob?"
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"Is it a nice person serving nice food, Bob?"
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"I don't know how you get through the day, Ron."
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"- What? - Why don't you put your mouth"
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"No matter what happens in there, no matter what you see,"
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"no matter what you smell,"
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"Yeah, I'll eat a wrap. I'll eat the crap out of a wrap."
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"Wait, no, you go after me. Ron, get the door."
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"Ooh, wow. Real-life health inspectors in my restaurant?"
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"Now, this is getting very real."
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"Don't worry about him. He's just a guy named Bob. Bob Dork."
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"- Thank God. - He just wishes he was."
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"We're still in the middle of our "medium soft practice"
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"kinda-sorta not really opening" opening."
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"Hey, where do you guys think this plant should go?"
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"- Here? Here? - Mm."
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"- Mm. Mm. Mm. - Here? Here?"
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"- You don't sound happy. Here? - Mm."
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"- Here? - Uh, yeah. There."
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"Are you kidding me? We don't care about the plant!"
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"Take us to the kitchen."
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"Oh, fun chicken fact. How do you even know that?"
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"you washed this rag?"
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"Oh, God."
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"There are rodent droppings near your salad prep area!"
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"Oh, that's what those are."
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"- Okay, you can just flick them away. - Oh, God."
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"So, what do you say, Mort?"
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"You gonna come over to celebrate your favorite burger man?"
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"Gosh, Linda, I wish I could, but I have a funeral tonight."
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"Can't be in two places at once."
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"Which, by the way, is how this guy died."
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"have to check me out of Intensive Care."
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"Oh-oh, my God, Reggie, I'm so sorry,"
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"Delightful. I will absolutely be there. Count me in."
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"Oh, really, Mr. Fischoeder? That's great."
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"It-It's Linda. Lin..."
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"From Linda and Bob?"
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"Oh, I can't make it."
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"biting my, uh, leg."
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"You can bring the dog, if you come."
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"Mm, he doesn't want to go."
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"- So, how did I do? - Not good."
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"- So... not too shabby? - No!"
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"You did bad."
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"You did almost nothing right."
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"Okay, so what does this mean for the restaurant?"
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"It means the last wrap you're making today"
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"Dirty utensils. Illegal use of the finger."
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"Strange, booger-looking viscous material"
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"on your cutting board."
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"Keep chewing. We had a deal."
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"Mom, I know you're busy, but look whose hair"
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"is perfectly normal."
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"Does he have magic marker on his forehead?"
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"I'm really surprised you noticed,"
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"but I don't think anyone else is going to be able to tell."
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