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Clips from Scrubs - My Choosiest Choice of All (S03E03)

"That didn't work. So now I'm gonna let the real me come out."
Scrubs
"I don't know, Danni. The real me's not really into that."
Scrubs
"I thought that's what you wanted."
Scrubs
"Quick question: Will my son ever stop crying?"
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. Look, there's a new doctor at the hospital."
Scrubs
"I actually see your face."
Scrubs
"I love that you think about me at work."
Scrubs
"This badge is now yours."
Scrubs
"I'm gonna guard these hospital gates"
Scrubs
"the way Cerberus guarded the gates of hell."
Scrubs
"That's terrific."
Scrubs
"Actually, this was my dad's. He used to use this baby every day at work."
Scrubs
"- Was he a cop? - No. Cat trainer."
Scrubs
"You stay here. I'll go."
Scrubs
"- Well? Do you, guys? - Bambi."
Scrubs
"You were in there with Danni. We heard you say her name."
Scrubs
"He's a really good buddy."
Scrubs
"Moving a little quick there, aren't we, bub? Got a story to tell me?"
Scrubs
"Here's a story. The Security Guard Who Was Sodomized With His Own Nightstick."
Scrubs
"Why don't we just consider this a warning?"
Scrubs
"My cousin's a bank teller"
Scrubs
"and he gave me an exploding ink cartridge they put in stolen money"
Scrubs
"so I could figure out who's been disconnecting the emergency exit."
Scrubs
"That's all for me, Jeff. Any other questions you can direct to Dr Cox."
Scrubs
"I'm sure you'll find him to be quite something."
Scrubs
"Can I break out tomorrow and play a set with the band?"
Scrubs
"I think we can work something out. Don't worry about it."
Scrubs
"I will drive him there, he can play and I'll drive him back."
Scrubs
"I won't worry about it. Mostly because he's not going. I'm his doctor now."
Scrubs
"is appropriate for somebody who just had kidney surgery."
Scrubs
"Although the fact that it seems to be pissing you off so much"
Scrubs
"is the definition of an added perk."
Scrubs
"Seriously, you can look it up in the dictionary. It's under P for perk."
Scrubs
"It's right next to "pain in the ass" and your picture is right next to it."
Scrubs
"Only because Barney Miller came out on DVD."
Scrubs
"And Wojo's commentary on it, priceless."
Scrubs
"Maybe Danni's not the love of my life."
Scrubs
"But she's beautiful, and she's quirky and she's very sweet."
Scrubs
"Man, I get so gassy after having sex."
Scrubs
"Barbara's my mom."
Scrubs
"... and professional ones."
Scrubs
"Serpico, I go four steps out that door to my car every day."
Scrubs
"If I don't beat Enid home from her thighs and buns class,"
Scrubs
"I have to help her peel off her leotard."
Scrubs
"The worst are the realisations that sneak up on you."
Scrubs
"I'm kind of using this area."
Scrubs
"In a big hospital you can hide from almost anything, except your conscience."
Scrubs
"- You know what's weird? - Tell me."
Scrubs
"We're close, yet if anybody asks if we're married,"
Scrubs
"all either one of us can say is no."
Scrubs
"Mr Mid-Life, we both know what this is about."
Scrubs
"You should just go ahead and enjoy your crush. Because, honestly, I don't care."
Scrubs
"A pickle!"
Scrubs
"- You wanna play darts? - Sure."
Scrubs
"Have fun. I'll be over here."
Scrubs
"Enjoy is such a strong word."
Scrubs
"I'm used to it, like cafeteria food"
Scrubs
"Last night I knocked you unconscious."
Scrubs
"Why?"
Scrubs
"Guys, Elliot and I are in the middle of a marathon game of hide-and-go-seek."
Scrubs
"...99, 100."
Scrubs
"He's a dynamite hider."
Scrubs
""I do." Kiss, kiss, kiss. "Why can't we have a baby?""
Scrubs
""You spend so much on clothes." "You're sleeping with my sister.""
Scrubs
""Why can't I hang out with my peeps?""
Scrubs
"And I would never have a crush on someone else."
Scrubs
"- I do not have a crush. - What is this?"
Scrubs
"A form allowing Mr Stockton's band to come visit him,"
Scrubs
"so that Dr Miller will be happy that I did a nice thing for her."
Scrubs
"- But he's only happy when he's...? - Miserable."
Scrubs
"Cos she's got big-ass boobies."
Scrubs
"No, because he likes being miserable."
Scrubs
"If I enjoyed being miserable, then why wouldn't I stay here talking to you two?"
Scrubs
"- I've got something for you. - What?"
Scrubs
"I'll buy the next round, if one of you handsome boys wanna help carry it."
Scrubs
"We're both good-Iooking guys. Right?"
Scrubs
"- How could you do this to me? - Do what?"
Scrubs
"You jumped into bed with Danni so quick you didn't even change the sheets."
Scrubs
"- You know I only have one set. - Can I ask you a favour?"
Scrubs
"- Damn. I don't have one. - You didn't have one, did you?"
Scrubs
"What do you want?"
Scrubs
"How about you remembering that you're supposed to be my friend?"
Scrubs
"- Why'd you page me? What do you want? - Just watch his face."
Scrubs
"I hope this won't be awkward. I promised the whole band you'd have sex with them."
Scrubs
"Don't look at me like that. This is your fault, anyway."
Scrubs
"- You two made me dream again. - We didn't cave in to Kelso."
Scrubs
"- You don't owe us an explanation. - Lay some truth on him."
Scrubs
"He has more of this than any man I know."
Scrubs
"- Archie comics? - The other thing."
Scrubs
"That's right. Integrity."
Scrubs
"Also, Danni snores like a gutted wild boar."
Scrubs
"Can I talk to you for a second?"
Scrubs
"Sorry, everybody. False alarm."
Scrubs
"Well?"
Scrubs
"I don't care. It is so naughty."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I figured. Good talk."
Scrubs
"Even if it means sacrificing your own happiness."
Scrubs
"When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you made."
Scrubs
"Too loose and it flies away."
Scrubs
"You look great, Irv."
Scrubs
"Last night Elliot Reid and I made passionate love"
Scrubs
"so please don't say anything to him."
Scrubs
"- What was her last name? - Damn. I should know this."
Scrubs
"If I was a security guard around here, things would be different."
Scrubs
"- Their uniforms are black and grey. - I don't see colours well. Happy now?"
Scrubs
"Stop it."
Scrubs
"It is so typical. We have an amazing son, we're getting along for a change,"
Scrubs
"Look at you in your new uniform. And they gave you a nightstick?"
Scrubs
"That's what I say, too. That or no."
Scrubs
"- For five seconds. - I guess this is over."
Scrubs
"You'd rather hang out with someone you don't even like than be alone?"
Scrubs
"He wants Dr Miller because he thinks it will make him what?"
Scrubs
"and dump me the minute Sean shows up so I feel like a loser."
Scrubs
"I owe you no explanation for that."
Scrubs
"No, Sean, nothing happened."
Scrubs
"- Bye, JD. - Peace out, Sean."
Scrubs
"We are?"
Scrubs
"He had to be let go."
Scrubs
"I hate my girlfriend."
Scrubs
"Don't even start, Tarla, or Curk,"
Scrubs
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