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Clips from 30 Rock - Standards and Practices (S06E06)

"Well, I'm not gonna miss"
30 Rock
"How's the yearbook going? I heard you made editor..."
30 Rock
"I'm so excited for the finale."
30 Rock
"Not that it matters, even if Brock doesn't win,"
30 Rock
"he is going to get a record contract."
30 Rock
"So, it definitely doesn't matter."
30 Rock
"Well, whoever wins, it's a great night for the industry."
30 Rock
"not your usual sitcom crap full of gratuitous vulgarity"
30 Rock
"Jenna, this is a big night."
30 Rock
"Tonight during the finalists' duet,"
30 Rock
"Now, of course, none of these little condom accidents"
30 Rock
"could actually make me cry, so I'm gonna rub this"
30 Rock
"under my eyes to help me fake it."
30 Rock
"It's an old acting trick I learned"
30 Rock
"What happened?"
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"Because my phone melted last night, Lemon."
30 Rock
"Come here, Jack."
30 Rock
"That was my angriest hug, 'cause that's how I feel right now."
30 Rock
"I'm going down to deal with the FCC."
30 Rock
"and I know how hard those men work."
30 Rock
"Hello, peers."
30 Rock
"that's already been canceled!"
30 Rock
"in a garbage can this morning,"
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"You're the one who solved that? Thank you so much."
30 Rock
"but I do have a plan B."
30 Rock
"but what else humanizes a monster?"
30 Rock
"This is better than adopting."
30 Rock
"Cashing your dead aunt's social security checks?"
30 Rock
"I'm talking about when I donated my eggs."
30 Rock
"who wanted to meet me."
30 Rock
"Hang on, are you saying you have a kid?"
30 Rock
"No, I don't."
30 Rock
"Little league tryouts are coming soon."
30 Rock
"How would you like to wind up on a team with..."
30 Rock
"It was her idea! She made me do it!"
30 Rock
"Brock just sold you out, Ava."
30 Rock
"Who? Who's a human silly band?"
30 Rock
"that there isn't a roller coaster in the world"
30 Rock
"So..."
30 Rock
"Or are you babies?"
30 Rock
"Jack versus Kaylie, round two,"
30 Rock
"Mommy announcement."
30 Rock
"I hope we're all waxed,"
30 Rock
"because you're coming with me to my interview tonight"
30 Rock
"Barbara Walters!"
30 Rock
"Left, left, right,"
30 Rock
"Wait, what is this?"
30 Rock
"Have you seen this memo from Standards?"
30 Rock
"Why didn't I see this coming?"
30 Rock
"Don't attack me tonight, okay?"
30 Rock
"No. One of us will have to sit out the interview."
30 Rock
"- I'm sorry, Judy. - Bye, Judy."
30 Rock
"Sweetie, it's Pop-Pop."
30 Rock
"Surprise."
30 Rock
"I'm very good."
30 Rock
"she said she got grounded 'cause she went"
30 Rock
"to some highlighter party with Dylan"
30 Rock
"so I called her, and Henry answered her phone"
30 Rock
"and then I might as well be dead!"
30 Rock
"Isn't that just a sweat shop?"
30 Rock
"I know what it's like not to have your parents around."
30 Rock
"to a father-son picnic."
30 Rock
"now you're telling me how to run my show?"
30 Rock
"to a parent-teacher conference at her school."
30 Rock
"then on to that last bastion of the incompetent rich,"
30 Rock
"that I'd already gotten my period,"
30 Rock
"So bravo wants to do a reality show about us,"
30 Rock
"and I thought the opening credits"
30 Rock
"could be all of us in a giant dog bed,"
30 Rock
"on prosthetic dog teats that I'm wearing."
30 Rock
"it's kind of obvious someone is the odd person out."
30 Rock
"so we're thinking the show is more like"
30 Rock
"The girls next door,"
30 Rock
"I see."
30 Rock
"and sit down and pee in silence, like dudes do."
30 Rock
"without Liz Lemon yelling at me,"
30 Rock
"To respect me, how will I ever run a network"
30 Rock
"and boss around those Jewish executives"
30 Rock
"Sorry I babbled so much."
30 Rock
"You bastard."
30 Rock
"I think that this school"
30 Rock
"has done everything it can for Kaylie,"
30 Rock
"I don't know, 'cause someone"
30 Rock
"who actually cares about my feelings"
30 Rock
"No, don't listen to Kenneth Toilethole."
30 Rock
"- You know him? - Yeah. He's great."
30 Rock
"We should all go get dinner sometime."
30 Rock
"Kenneth, you can do this job,"
30 Rock
"and I do respect you."
30 Rock
"The blonde ones, they turned on me."
30 Rock
"and I treated her like garbage."
30 Rock
"Judy, you're so beautiful now!"
30 Rock
"I just came to say good-bye before I head home."
30 Rock
"I wish we had spent more time together,"
30 Rock
"No. Of all my children,"
30 Rock
"One minute to air. One minute."
30 Rock
"No problem. I'll cover."
30 Rock
"I finally understand the ending of The sixth sense."
30 Rock
"what you were trying to tell me yesterday."
30 Rock
"You want me to do my filthy stand-up act"
30 Rock
"instead of reading the cue cards."
30 Rock
"The whole time, she was playing me,"
30 Rock
"What are we gonna do?"
30 Rock
"You know why I love Dominican women?"
30 Rock
"so guess what?"
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"I'm promoting you, you little -face."
30 Rock
"Who among you has the power to censor the censor?"
30 Rock
"At a strip club."
30 Rock
"right here in Manhattan,"
30 Rock
"If Pop-Pop had gone to that meeting,"
30 Rock
"You needed somebody to throw you under the bus."
30 Rock
"You needed a patsy."
30 Rock
"that lacrosse ball in your backpack."
30 Rock
"to get back at a girl I hate who plays lacrosse."
30 Rock
"Cato? Seriously, not tonight."
30 Rock
"Sorry. That phone call took forever."
30 Rock
"You just missed him."
30 Rock
"Again."
30 Rock
"You know what? I'll go get him."
30 Rock
"No, don't!"
30 Rock
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