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Clips from Cheers - Give Me a Ring Sometime (S01E01)

What he actually said was, "Come with me and be my love,

"What he actually said was, "Come with me and be my love,"

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and we will some new pleasures prove."

"and we will some new pleasures prove.""

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Well, that's lovely.

"Well, that's lovely."

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Listen, I must dash. I'll be back in ten minutes.

"Listen, I must dash. I'll be back in ten minutes."

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Listen, Sam, old man, I have an errand to run.

"Listen, Sam, old man, I have an errand to run."

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Diane will stay here. I'd appreciate it if you would keep an eye on her.

"Diane will stay here. I'd appreciate it if you would keep an eye on her."

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Darling, I'm leaving you alone in a bar.

"Darling, I'm leaving you alone in a bar."

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- Which one of us is the stupider? - Too close to call.

"- Which one of us is the stupider? - Too close to call."

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Listen, you don't have to make conversation with me.

"Listen, you don't have to make conversation with me."

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I understand. One's trying to move into my neighbourhood.

"I understand. One's trying to move into my neighbourhood."

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Call that a football team?

"Call that a football team?"

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This is the worst draft yet.

"This is the worst draft yet."

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Did they get a jackrabbit for the backfield? No.

"Did they get a jackrabbit for the backfield? No."

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I've seen a good linebacker turn a team around.

"I've seen a good linebacker turn a team around."

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- Hi. - Hello.

"- Hi. - Hello."

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I hope nobody told you the bus goes by here.

"I hope nobody told you the bus goes by here."

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Excuse me. I hate to keep asking for special attention,

"Excuse me. I hate to keep asking for special attention,"

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- What would you like me to tell him? - I don't care.

"- What would you like me to tell him? - I don't care."

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- Carla's late again. - Nuts.

"- Carla's late again. - Nuts."

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I don't work for a man who has no compassion for my children.

"I don't work for a man who has no compassion for my children."

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And you're not exactly swamped here. I'm usually punctual.

"And you're not exactly swamped here. I'm usually punctual."

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I'm gonna change.

"I'm gonna change."

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- Hiya, Coach. - Hi, Carla.

"- Hiya, Coach. - Hi, Carla."

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Patriots finally got the linebacker they needed.

"Patriots finally got the linebacker they needed."

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Are you nuts? They're up to their ears in linebackers!

"Are you nuts? They're up to their ears in linebackers!"

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I love to see a woman

"I love to see a woman"

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Well, tell Her Nibs I'm sorry.

"Well, tell Her Nibs I'm sorry."

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- Norm, what do you know? - Not enough.

"- Norm, what do you know? - Not enough."

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What do you think of the Patriots' draft?

"What do you think of the Patriots' draft?"

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They need linebackers like I need antlers.

"They need linebackers like I need antlers."

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That new linebacker will put 'em in the Super Bowl.

"That new linebacker will put 'em in the Super Bowl."

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He'll probably do that. I got an awful headache.

"He'll probably do that. I got an awful headache."

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Sox lost again today, Sam. Sure could have used you.

"Sox lost again today, Sam. Sure could have used you."

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Not in the shape I'm in, Norm.

"Not in the shape I'm in, Norm."

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Flinging what?

"Flinging what?"

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Don't you know who he is? He was one of the best pitchers in baseball.

"Don't you know who he is? He was one of the best pitchers in baseball."

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Samuel "Mayday" Malone.

"Samuel "Mayday" Malone."

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He was one of the best Little Leaguers ever.

"He was one of the best Little Leaguers ever."

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- Sure as the earth is round. - You don't believe that.

"- Sure as the earth is round. - You don't believe that."

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Sam once struck out Cash, Kaline and Freehan with a tying run on second.

"Sam once struck out Cash, Kaline and Freehan with a tying run on second."

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How long is the wimp convention in town?

"How long is the wimp convention in town?"

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I developed an elbow problem. I bent it too much.

"I developed an elbow problem. I bent it too much."

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You were a drunk?

"You were a drunk?"

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Are you kidding? He was a great drunk.

"Are you kidding? He was a great drunk."

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Are you drunk now?

"Are you drunk now?"

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I'm proud you licked it, Sammy. Must've been hell.

"I'm proud you licked it, Sammy. Must've been hell."

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- Why do you own a bar? - I bought it when I was a drunk.

"- Why do you own a bar? - I bought it when I was a drunk."

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You, miss. What you reading?

"You, miss. What you reading?"

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A book?

"A book?"

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Excuse me. Where is your bathroom?

"Excuse me. Where is your bathroom?"

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Down the hall.

"Down the hall."

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So, what's Goldilocks's story?

"So, what's Goldilocks's story?"

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- Never mind. - Come on, Sam.

"- Never mind. - Come on, Sam."

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- Why can't you tell us? - Yeah, what's the big deal?

"- Why can't you tell us? - Yeah, what's the big deal?"

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Take it easy. Sam's shy about these things.

"Take it easy. Sam's shy about these things."

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She's not a hooker at all.

"She's not a hooker at all."

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Look, she does not want to be bothered.

"Look, she does not want to be bothered."

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She's waiting for her fiancé.

"She's waiting for her fiancé."

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They're going to the Caribbean to get married. OK?

"They're going to the Caribbean to get married. OK?"

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Another beer, Norm?

"Another beer, Norm?"

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Why don't you make a run for it?

"Why don't you make a run for it?"

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You're a bitter little person, aren't you?

"You're a bitter little person, aren't you?"

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- My husband left me with four kids. - Four kids?

"- My husband left me with four kids. - Four kids?"

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Right. And after I paid his way through school hustling drinks.

"Right. And after I paid his way through school hustling drinks."

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What school did your husband go to?

"What school did your husband go to?"

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The Colletti Academy.

"The Colletti Academy."

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TV repair.

"TV repair."

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So the minute he graduated, he left me.

"So the minute he graduated, he left me."

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Said I wouldn't fit in with the other repairmen's wives. Big shot!

"Said I wouldn't fit in with the other repairmen's wives. Big shot!"

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He still fixes my set and only bills me for parts.

"He still fixes my set and only bills me for parts."

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- That's you, Coach. - Speaking.

"- That's you, Coach. - Speaking."

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That group's arguing about the sweatiest movie ever made.

"That group's arguing about the sweatiest movie ever made."

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What movie did people sweat most in?

"What movie did people sweat most in?"

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That's easy. Rocky II.

"That's easy. Rocky II."

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No, not even close. Body Heat. Sweat city.

"No, not even close. Body Heat. Sweat city."

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Ben Hur. The boys in that galley sweat like pigs.

"Ben Hur. The boys in that galley sweat like pigs."

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Speaking of sweat, here's a little-known fact.

"Speaking of sweat, here's a little-known fact."

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Really?

"Really?"

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Sure. How about you, miss? What are your perspiration patterns?

"Sure. How about you, miss? What are your perspiration patterns?"

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Sumner, I'm so glad to see you.

"Sumner, I'm so glad to see you."

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These men have been arguing over the sweatiest movie ever made.

"These men have been arguing over the sweatiest movie ever made."

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- Cool Hand Luke. - That's one!

"- Cool Hand Luke. - That's one!"

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- We've got a plane to catch. - Diane, I love you.

"- We've got a plane to catch. - Diane, I love you."

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We can talk about it on the flight.

"We can talk about it on the flight."

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If you're not, I apologise, but is your name Sumner Sloane?

"If you're not, I apologise, but is your name Sumner Sloane?"

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No, it's alright. She understands and I understand.

"No, it's alright. She understands and I understand."

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Barbara, that's very human of you. I'll be right over.

"Barbara, that's very human of you. I'll be right over."

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And, Barbara, your depth frightens me.

"And, Barbara, your depth frightens me."

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You call and get us on a later flight. I'll get the ring.

"You call and get us on a later flight. I'll get the ring."

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Cheer up, cookie. He may have been in an accident.

"Cheer up, cookie. He may have been in an accident."

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I'm knocking off, Sam. Home to my book.

"I'm knocking off, Sam. Home to my book."

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- Still working on that novel? - Yeah, coming on six years now.

"- Still working on that novel? - Yeah, coming on six years now."

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I got a feeling I might finish it tonight.

"I got a feeling I might finish it tonight."

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- You're writing a novel? - No, reading one.

"- You're writing a novel? - No, reading one."

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Wait a second. I want you to take Norm home.

"Wait a second. I want you to take Norm home."

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- Norm! - I'm up.

"- Norm! - I'm up."

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Coach, we stop somewhere, I'll buy you a beer.

"Coach, we stop somewhere, I'll buy you a beer."

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Doesn't your wife wonder where you're at?

"Doesn't your wife wonder where you're at?"

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Wonders. Doesn't care.

"Wonders. Doesn't care."

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- It's kind of sad, isn't it? - Yeah.

"- It's kind of sad, isn't it? - Yeah."

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but some stranger who mixes drinks.

"but some stranger who mixes drinks."

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I met Sumner two years ago.

"I met Sumner two years ago."

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He's the most brilliant man I've ever known.

"He's the most brilliant man I've ever known."

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For the last two years, he's been the most important thing in my life,

"For the last two years, he's been the most important thing in my life,"

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Come on.

"Come on."

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Look, you are a very attractive young lady.

"Look, you are a very attractive young lady."

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

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You're gonna find someone a lot better than that goofy professor.

"You're gonna find someone a lot better than that goofy professor."

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Goofy? Are you talking about Sumner?

"Goofy? Are you talking about Sumner?"

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- I'm talking about Sumner. - You don't like Sumner.

"- I'm talking about Sumner. - You don't like Sumner."

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I don't like Sumner.

"I don't like Sumner."

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- You know why you don't like Sumner? - Because he's goofy.

"- You know why you don't like Sumner? - Because he's goofy."

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He's well bred, highly educated, he's distinguished, he's urbane...

"He's well bred, highly educated, he's distinguished, he's urbane..."

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- You left out "goofy". - I did not leave out "goofy"!

"- You left out "goofy". - I did not leave out "goofy"!"

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I've had a real rough day,

"I've had a real rough day,"

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and I'm now going to reward myself by getting out of here.

"and I'm now going to reward myself by getting out of here."

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When Sumner comes back, will you say I've gone home?

"When Sumner comes back, will you say I've gone home?"

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Fine.

"Fine."

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- Use this one. - Thank you.

"- Use this one. - Thank you."

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I'd like to change the reservations for Mr and Mrs Sumner Sloane,

"I'd like to change the reservations for Mr and Mrs Sumner Sloane,"

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