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Clips from One Day at a Time - Pride & Prejudice (S01E01)

"- Who is it? - It's Penelope. Open up."
One Day at a Time
"Ugh!"
One Day at a Time
"- You knew? - Yeah."
One Day at a Time
"It's been super tough keeping it from you."
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"That's why I've been hanging around so much less."
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"You've had dinner with us four times this week."
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"Anyway, she never actually told me. Alex did."
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"Don't worry. I barely know anything."
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"Well, what does your mother think?"
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"with a bat-signal shaped like the pope's hat."
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"He does have a popemobile."
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"He laughed."
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"It was that lack of support that..."
One Day at a Time
"You have a girl over here and you were offering to have sex with me?"
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"but won't call beautiful because she doesn't like it"
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"Uh, good morning to you, too."
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"Hey, last night I did a little reading on autostraddle,"
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"that you're getting me a monocle for my birthday,"
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"- Lady gaga? - Yeah."
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"I found out about Eleanor Roosevelt?"
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"Of course! Who wouldn't be?"
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"I think I'm gonna wait until after my quinces."
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"No, I already told him and he's totally cool."
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"I made the travel team!"
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"Oh!"
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"I did it! Him. He did it."
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"Schneider? You do you."
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"We're good."
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"Jajaja. Qué funny."
One Day at a Time
"And I'm offended, but I get it."
One Day at a Time
"I can take care of Alex as well as you can."
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"- Blood type? - O positive."
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"You can take him."
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"Except they do."
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"- Not like that. - Oh."
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"Closer."
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"And this would be the moment when you would kiss, but you shouldn't."
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"Oh, whoa!"
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"She is jealous."
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"Hey, Nikki."
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"But don't worry, I got my eye on the ball."
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"I just came out to abuelita."
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"You do?"
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"I told you."
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"because you are so liberal..."
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"I'm sorry, but I have a problem with Elena being gay."
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"Although, god did make us in his image."
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"And god doesn't make mistakes."
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"And when it comes to the gays, the pope did say, "who am I to judge?""
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"Okay. Okay, I'm good."
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"What?"
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"Okay, you guys wait here."
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"- Okay, guys. Guys, slow down. - This room is awesome!"
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"- No, this bed! - Guys."
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"Stop, wait. Okay, stop. Stop!"
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"So, you're obviously tired from the game."
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"What? Is someone injured? Oh, my god. Is it Gordon?"
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"So, uh, a gay bar, huh?"
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"You gotta get used to being around gay people,"
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"No, I don't. You heard that "I don't" part, right?"
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"I am."
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"I don't know. Does she all of a sudden think all boys are disgusting?"
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"How will I know..."
One Day at a Time
"You ask her."
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"- Probably not. - Ay, Ramona!"
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"Well, what are you asking me? How to spot a lesbian?"
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"I guess."
One Day at a Time
"who will be a productive member of society."
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"- Uh, you wanna go over there? - No! No, no, no, no, no, no."
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"But just out of curiosity... What is that girl doing right now?"
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"Don't worry. The boys are fine."
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"Kids are so stupid."
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"Maybe just for a minute."
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"You know."
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"Ay, dios mío."
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"Don't mess it up. Oh, and you know it."
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"That's what regular bars are for."
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"Anyway..."
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"All right, all right."
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"But it's a common misconception, so..."
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"But I just keep thinking..."
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"It's not the way I pictured it."
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"Bond over boy stuff."
One Day at a Time
"It's negative and we go get Sushi."
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"You know, you can still get Sushi without peeing on something."
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"No, of course not."
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"Your heart is okay."
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"Oh, my god, you smell so good."
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"Oh, thank you!"
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"And you're super hot."
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"Again, love what you're saying, but, uh,"
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"for the smelling and the groping."
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"What? Shut up."
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"Okay."
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"- Yeah? - Yeah."
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"So there's absolutely no need to panic."
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"What happened?"
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"And I won!"
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"Shower caps that can fly off into your face and suffocate you."
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"and tell me I'm never allowed near your family."
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"What?"
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"You proved I can trust you."
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"¡Azúcar!"
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"God, I feel so much better."
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"And that is the last time I listen to a bunch of gringo parents."
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"- It sounds like Texas isn't that bad. - I love it."
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"Can I just give you props for being hella cool about Elena coming out?"
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"You're in a good mood."
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"Okay, I met a guy."
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"What? That's right, I'm cool."
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"but it was just exciting, you know, meeting someone new and..."
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"Are you kidding? I'm going to tell you everything."
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"I mean, she says..."
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"No, I don't wanna play hard to get!"
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"One in the morning, eh?"
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"Okay. Either something happened in your apartment,"
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"You'd be surprised how many of my hookups started with "ugh!""
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"Elena..."
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"Just came out to me."
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"Finally!"
One Day at a Time
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