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Clips from Community (2009) - Repilot (S05E05)

* Jeff Winger, hero at law *

"* Jeff Winger, hero at law *"

Community (2009)

* Hero to freedom, defender of liberty *

"* Hero to freedom, defender of liberty *"

Community (2009)

Are you a good person

"Are you a good person"

Community (2009)

Now we can bygone the bygones,

"Now we can bygone the bygones,"

Community (2009)

Greendale Community College.

"Greendale Community College."

Community (2009)

Weird choice, by the way, the bachelor's degree on the wall.

"Weird choice, by the way, the bachelor's degree on the wall."

Community (2009)

So you're gonna sue my old school and you're bothering to tell me?

"So you're gonna sue my old school and you're bothering to tell me?"

Community (2009)

You have access there.

"You have access there."

Community (2009)

They wouldn't shred evidence.

"They wouldn't shred evidence."

Community (2009)

Jeff, I once saw you convince an arson victim

"Jeff, I once saw you convince an arson victim"

Community (2009)

And worst of all,

"And worst of all,"

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and I can't guarantee you it'll be from me.

"and I can't guarantee you it'll be from me."

Community (2009)

Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless,

"Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless,"

Community (2009)

that gives me power... That was it.

"that gives me power... That was it."

Community (2009)

* Tie me to dream *

"* Tie me to dream *"

Community (2009)

* Give me the hope *

"* Give me the hope *"

Community (2009)

* To run out of steam *

"* To run out of steam *"

Community (2009)

Welcome back, human beings.

"Welcome back, human beings."

Community (2009)

I doubt this is a coincidence.

"I doubt this is a coincidence."

Community (2009)

Mmm.

"Mmm."

Community (2009)

"Harassment Reports," "Hazardous Waste Citations,"

""Harassment Reports," "Hazardous Waste Citations,""

Community (2009)

"Herpes Comma Water Fountains."

""Herpes Comma Water Fountains.""

Community (2009)

- Can I join? - Well, I...

"- Can I join? - Well, I..."

Community (2009)

Well, you guys just got sprung from this joint,

"Well, you guys just got sprung from this joint,"

Community (2009)

This is where we became a family.

"This is where we became a family."

Community (2009)

Okay, vision boarding! Oh, hi, Jeffrey.

"Okay, vision boarding! Oh, hi, Jeffrey."

Community (2009)

But first, why is there a big empty box on your desk

"But first, why is there a big empty box on your desk"

Community (2009)

or we could get shut down.

"or we could get shut down."

Community (2009)

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Community (2009)

Jeff, this case was all I had.

"Jeff, this case was all I had."

Community (2009)

G'oh!

"G'oh!"

Community (2009)

Well...

"Well..."

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because of this bridge-collapsing guy.

"because of this bridge-collapsing guy."

Community (2009)

He's the one making bad bridges.

"He's the one making bad bridges."

Community (2009)

That's like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies.

"That's like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies."

Community (2009)

- Make it litigation-proof. - How?

"- Make it litigation-proof. - How?"

Community (2009)

But I administer things to hospitals,

"But I administer things to hospitals,"

Community (2009)

"Futurza"?

""Futurza"?"

Community (2009)

You push drugs now? That's ironic.

"You push drugs now? That's ironic."

Community (2009)

Wow, you're even bad at bartending.

"Wow, you're even bad at bartending."

Community (2009)

You're programming now, Abed?

"You're programming now, Abed?"

Community (2009)

One job, directing a commercial.

"One job, directing a commercial."

Community (2009)

I didn't like the number. 555? It's derivative.

"I didn't like the number. 555? It's derivative."

Community (2009)

That's only on Tummy Tuesdays!

"That's only on Tummy Tuesdays!"

Community (2009)

It's... It's not like last time.

"It's... It's not like last time."

Community (2009)

I threw the money into expanding. I just didn't think I could fail.

"I threw the money into expanding. I just didn't think I could fail."

Community (2009)

That's everything you asked for.

"That's everything you asked for."

Community (2009)

You trust-funded, body-sprayed, Eli-Roth-DVD owner...

"You trust-funded, body-sprayed, Eli-Roth-DVD owner..."

Community (2009)

who was willing to stay buried

"who was willing to stay buried"

Community (2009)

because they wish that...

"because they wish that..."

Community (2009)

And now I get to make them un-happen

"And now I get to make them un-happen"

Community (2009)

for me and the only people I care about.

"for me and the only people I care about."

Community (2009)

We decided to re-enroll at Greendale.

"We decided to re-enroll at Greendale."

Community (2009)

Greendale! Greendale!

"Greendale! Greendale!"

Community (2009)

after being fired for impersonating a teacher.

"after being fired for impersonating a teacher."

Community (2009)

If that were true,

"If that were true,"

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but your friend here is so much more dangerous.

"but your friend here is so much more dangerous."

Community (2009)

I did it.

"I did it."

Community (2009)

I showed you the right truth.

"I showed you the right truth."

Community (2009)

Britta, when we met,

"Britta, when we met,"

Community (2009)

This was a four-year process.

"This was a four-year process."

Community (2009)

Okay, Jeff,

"Okay, Jeff,"

Community (2009)

I'll sign.

"I'll sign."

Community (2009)

- You brought us together. - With lies.

"- You brought us together. - With lies."

Community (2009)

You show us the right truth.

"You show us the right truth."

Community (2009)

You won't regret this.

"You won't regret this."

Community (2009)

Nobody else deserves it.

"Nobody else deserves it."

Community (2009)

Jesus!

"Jesus!"

Community (2009)

Unbelievable.

"Unbelievable."

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and I'll say this...

"and I'll say this..."

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I know.

"I know."

Community (2009)

And tonight, I almost got them to sue it.

"And tonight, I almost got them to sue it."

Community (2009)

But you could stay here and help me save the school.

"But you could stay here and help me save the school."

Community (2009)

You just described slavery.

"You just described slavery."

Community (2009)

Wait. Don't tell me.

"Wait. Don't tell me."

Community (2009)

Look, if you feel there's more work to be done on yourselves,

"Look, if you feel there's more work to be done on yourselves,"

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I need to learn how to really run a business

"I need to learn how to really run a business"

Community (2009)

we'll be trying to talk Britta into doing something different

"we'll be trying to talk Britta into doing something different"

Community (2009)

Even if you never asked to win in the first place.

"Even if you never asked to win in the first place."

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Because around here, they never last very long.

"Because around here, they never last very long."

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Once more. More teachery.

"Once more. More teachery."

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Use that.

"Use that."

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I can...guarantee. The Winger...beaten...you.

"I can...guarantee. The Winger...beaten...you."

Community (2009)

I am the system.

"I am the system."

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There is no escape.

"There is no escape."

Community (2009)

being sued, oppressed, or beaten?

"being sued, oppressed, or beaten?"

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I can help,

"I can help,"

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and that's the Winger guarantee.

"and that's the Winger guarantee."

Community (2009)

Call 555-her...

"Call 555-her..."

Community (2009)

Maybe you should've spent less money on special effect.

"Maybe you should've spent less money on special effect."

Community (2009)

Huh, thanks a lot, Francis Ford repo man.

"Huh, thanks a lot, Francis Ford repo man."

Community (2009)

Ohh, Jeff Winger!

"Ohh, Jeff Winger!"

Community (2009)

♪ Loser at law ♪

"♪ Loser at law ♪"

Community (2009)

♪ Rented office in a mini mall ♪

"♪ Rented office in a mini mall ♪"

Community (2009)

Relax, Tango. I come in peace.

"Relax, Tango. I come in peace."

Community (2009)

Way I see it, I screwed you.

"Way I see it, I screwed you."

Community (2009)

I got screwed back.

"I got screwed back."

Community (2009)

because I got a juicy new client and a bone to throw you.

"because I got a juicy new client and a bone to throw you."

Community (2009)

You hear about that bridge that collapsed upstate?

"You hear about that bridge that collapsed upstate?"

Community (2009)

I represent Marvin Humphries, the engineer who designed it.

"I represent Marvin Humphries, the engineer who designed it."

Community (2009)

From what? His own pencil?

"From what? His own pencil?"

Community (2009)

From the only school reckless enough to give him a degree in engineering.

"From the only school reckless enough to give him a degree in engineering."

Community (2009)

City-funded school,

"City-funded school,"

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deep government pockets.

"deep government pockets."

Community (2009)

Maybe you've heard of it.

"Maybe you've heard of it."

Community (2009)

I need Marvin's records to prove that he was irresponsibly educated.

"I need Marvin's records to prove that he was irresponsibly educated."

Community (2009)

Well, why don't you just subpoena?

"Well, why don't you just subpoena?"

Community (2009)

Right, so they can have a shredding party.

"Right, so they can have a shredding party."

Community (2009)

See, that's the difference between you and Greendale, Alan.

"See, that's the difference between you and Greendale, Alan."

Community (2009)

It's a good place for good people.

"It's a good place for good people."

Community (2009)

It's a diploma mill.

"It's a diploma mill."

Community (2009)

It turns idiots into bridge-collapsers

"It turns idiots into bridge-collapsers"

Community (2009)

and Jeff Winger into an attorney

"and Jeff Winger into an attorney"

Community (2009)

that thought he could help people?

"that thought he could help people?"

Community (2009)

that he liked his house better burned.

"that he liked his house better burned."

Community (2009)

God, look what that school did to you.

"God, look what that school did to you."

Community (2009)

It took all your money. It took four years of your life.

"It took all your money. It took four years of your life."

Community (2009)

it took your Winger moves.

"it took your Winger moves."

Community (2009)

I still got my Winger moves.

"I still got my Winger moves."

Community (2009)

Prove it. Get me Humphries' records.

"Prove it. Get me Humphries' records."

Community (2009)

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