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Clips from American Dad! - A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial (S02E02)

"Every day was Tanqueray"
American Dad!
"Through the winter and the spring"
American Dad!
"We'd make a game of everything"
American Dad!
"He'd rather play with boobs than me"
American Dad!
"I can 't believe our special bond must break"
American Dad!
"What we had must finally end"
American Dad!
"I'm useless as a car on bricks"
American Dad!
"Atop a redneck's lawn"
American Dad!
"Now I'm not his alien"
American Dad!
"But life"
American Dad!
"goes on"
American Dad!
"Flavored syrup is then mixed with thousands of gallons of water."
American Dad!
"- Sure. - I wonder if there's a real Mr. Pibb."
American Dad!
"I'll bet he couldn't handle the celebrity, so he hid from the public eye."
American Dad!
"...to add a dash of magic to every batch."
American Dad!
"- What? - What?"
American Dad!
"The parent company decided to go a different direction."
American Dad!
"Tomorrow I'm having a sex-change operation."
American Dad!
"Stan, how will we face the future without Mr. Pibb?"
American Dad!
"What if we got a million signatures on a petition?"
American Dad!
"The company would have to listen to us then. Right, Bob?"
American Dad!
"Oh, soon, my sweets."
American Dad!
"But we're just two consumers. How can we possibly do this alone?"
American Dad!
"Oh, Francine, we are not alone."
American Dad!
"Hey, Mom, want to help me build a birdhouse out of Popsicle sticks?"
American Dad!
"Mommy's smoking, honey. Go outside and play in the dark."
American Dad!
"We're gonna be best friends."
American Dad!
"It's okay. I'll teach you how to talk later."
American Dad!
"Where the hell am I?"
American Dad!
"Oh, God. We didn't... you know?"
American Dad!
"You can talk? But you're an alien."
American Dad!
"Alien? Don't be ridiculous."
American Dad!
"This never happened. It's all a hallucination."
American Dad!
"- You took expired Ritalin. - Please don't go."
American Dad!
"You're my alien, and I'm gonna take care of you from now on."
American Dad!
"If you were my alien, I'd play with you all day..."
American Dad!
"...and never let you out of my sight."
American Dad!
"So if we were to play, say, Hide and Seek..."
American Dad!
"You're the coolest thing I ever saw."
American Dad!
"Do you really have to go right this second?"
American Dad!
"Well, I guess I could sit down and let you make me some breakfast."
American Dad!
"Maybe an omelet? Do you know "omelet" yet?"
American Dad!
"I can't believe we stole a car."
American Dad!
"We've got to get the word out and save Mr. Pibb."
American Dad!
"I have our hot-jams tape."
American Dad!
"Roger. Thank God. Where were you? You didn't come home last night."
American Dad!
"Yes, and his heart is filled with wonder by that fact. Unlike some people."
American Dad!
"Roger, I forbid you to ever see that kid again."
American Dad!
"You don't know him."
American Dad!
"Hey, have you seen my car mix? No? Fine!"
American Dad!
"This is so fun. Steve's too busy with science and girls to play with me."
American Dad!
"I wrote a song about it. I think it got the point across."
American Dad!
"- You are so cool. - It's about time someone noticed."
American Dad!
"I can also slow-roast a chicken in my mouth."
American Dad!
"- I win. - Let's have a rematch."
American Dad!
"No, let's do something else. Let's play catch with a Koosh ball."
American Dad!
"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but that's what you've done."
American Dad!
"Because I am hurting. Very much so."
American Dad!
"It's just I hate to lose, and I don't own a Koosh ball..."
American Dad!
"I took the better part of a bottle of amaretto..."
American Dad!
"...and busted a growler in a museum donation box."
American Dad!
"On thirst."
American Dad!
"- Is the Pibbmobile in the lot? - Yeah, it's still there."
American Dad!
"Oh, wait, no, that's a Jetta. No, the Pibbmobile's gone."
American Dad!
"We're running out of air, lieutenant."
American Dad!
"All is lost. Okay, that was fun."
American Dad!
"- You're as fat as a fart. - I beg your pardon?"
American Dad!
"You were a cook when we started playing."
American Dad!
"- Home from Henry's already? - Henry has a full schedule today."
American Dad!
"Did you know he's in Sylvan?"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, your eye. Did he hit you?"
American Dad!
"It was my fault. I disobeyed captain's orders and jeopardized the mission."
American Dad!
"Stop making excuses for him."
American Dad!
"And you remember what happened to her."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God. She ended up on ABC Family."
American Dad!
"Well, I'm not gonna let that happen to me."
American Dad!
"- Is Roger here? - You must be Henry."
American Dad!
"Beat it. Roger never wants to see you again."
American Dad!
"Roger, I'm sorry about what happened."
American Dad!
"We were playing, and I didn't eat anything..."
American Dad!
"That explains everything."
American Dad!
"You can jump in the basket, and we'll go play."
American Dad!
"Roger."
American Dad!
"You come after us, I'll turn him in to the government..."
American Dad!
"...and rat out your whole family."
American Dad!
"This is one sweet ride. What is she, a Huffy?"
American Dad!
"- What's wrong? You look horrible. - I've had this flu for two weeks."
American Dad!
"You're so caring."
American Dad!
"I lost Roger, Hayley."
American Dad!
"I was wrapped up in my science fair. I yelled at him..."
American Dad!
"...and I drove him right into the arms of a kid who beats him."
American Dad!
"I just thought you got, like, a boner in gym class or something."
American Dad!
"...it can be hard to break free from an abusive relationship."
American Dad!
"Can I come out of the pantry now, babe?"
American Dad!
"...I know you will all gladly lay down your lives..."
American Dad!
"Open this door, damn it!"
American Dad!
"- Hello? - Yeah, everything's cool."
American Dad!
"Henry and I made up. He asked me to move in with him."
American Dad!
"Did you enjoy your Steak-umms, Henry?"
American Dad!
"Steve, you can't be here. What if he sees you?"
American Dad!
"Roger, there's no baby."
American Dad!
"Oh, guess I didn't need to give up smoking."
American Dad!
"You don't know what Henry is capable of."
American Dad!
"He'll find me, Steve. He'll find me and kill me."
American Dad!
"The pain. My moaning stems from pain."
American Dad!
"I need to get back to my home planet."
American Dad!
"Yeah, well, anyway, I called my people and told them to pick me up."
American Dad!
"- They found us. - It's over, Stan. We failed Pibb."
American Dad!
"We Pibbs are survivors."
American Dad!
"Hello? Anyone home?"
American Dad!
"Mr. Pibb? Is it really you?"
American Dad!
"Well, everybody's busy."
American Dad!
"This has gone too far."
American Dad!
"Now, thirst isn't a war that can be won or lost."
American Dad!
"It's an ongoing dialogue between man and beverage."
American Dad!
"Its bolder taste and graphics appeal to young adults..."
American Dad!
"...who are looking to get the most out of life..."
American Dad!
"...and the most out of their soft drink."
American Dad!
"Sounds off the hook. But it's not Mr. Pibb."
American Dad!
"Soft drinks come and go, Stan. It's not the brands that matter."
American Dad!
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