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Clips from Community - Introduction to Film (S01E01)

"- you don't touch me! - britta back up. stop."
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"Sir, you have a right to your faith"
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"And your family's privacy."
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"But abed is an adult and a u.s. citizen."
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"Right? - yeah."
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"- fine. you want to raise him, you raise him."
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"I'm out! - wait, what?"
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"- you know, i had a father like you."
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"And the day i finally cut myself loose"
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"[crying] is the day i finally started being happy."
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"- well, that went well."
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"- i'll have to make some adjustments to my film."
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"Jeff, i think you should play the role of my father."
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"- i don't want to be your father."
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"- that's perfect. you already know your lines."
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"What?"
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"Why are you dressed like an '80s rapist?"
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"- professor whitman comes by here every morning"
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"And i need him to see me celebrating life."
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"What's all that?"
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"- i am calculating abed's expenses"
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"For the semester."
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"He's renting that camera."
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"And, you know, he needs a little spending money."
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"- um, all money is spending money."
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"- britta, um, it's amazing what you're doing for abed."
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"I mean, a lot of people talk a good game."
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"But you, you follow through. love you."
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"- shirley, thank you."
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"Bet that doesn't happen to you a lot."
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"- happened yesterday."
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"Shirley's just doing her homework."
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"- hillary, thank you for getting people coffee."
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"- good. my film is coming together."
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"Cool tie, jeff."
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"Are you wearing that"
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"Because you're playing the role of my dad,"
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"- definitely christmas."
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"- is that a new camera? - yeah."
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"But it lets me adjust really specific settings"
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"That most people don't notice or think about."
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"Hi, i would like a latte."
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"And, jeff, let me get you something."
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"- i'm okay. - oh, come on. i got you."
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"- okay, i will get a small, black coffee."
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"- boo. an ordinary coffee for an ordinary life."
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"- [perky] good morning, professor whitman."
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"- sorry, mr. winger, these won't cut it."
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"- shazbot! - i shall have..."
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"A birthday cake!"
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"[laughter]"
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"- i've seen men in your situation, troy."
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"No, those are both for me."
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"You were on top of the world before"
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"And now no one gives a rat's ass."
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"I can help you with your image."
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"First, lose the jacket."
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"You look like a high school bitch."
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"But more importantly, it's your sneeze."
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"When i was a ceo,"
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"I had an array of masculine sneezes"
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"That asserted dominance."
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"You know, like, the explosive,"
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"Shock-the-room-into-silence sneeze."
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"The [deafening sneeze]"
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"Or the draw-them-in sneeze."
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"You know... [gasping convulsively]"
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"And maybe i wouldn't sneeze because i'm in control."
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"You could even use a sneeze to drive home a point even."
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"Like, i think-- i think the cubs"
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"Are going to win it all this year."
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"[sniffs]"
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"What do you think?"
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"- tell me more."
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"Hey, everybody. good morning."
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"Good morning, sir."
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"Good morning, greendale! hi! good morning!"
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"Watch the kite. uh-oh."
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"Look at this. one foot."
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"[laughing]"
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"Thanks, you guys. bring it in here."
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"Nice. thank you so much, you guys."
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"- sloppy."
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"And considering the age of these girls,"
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"- damn it."
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"Beat it."
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"That i'm putting into this?"
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"I mean, throw me a bone!"
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"- had i not already cried at the sunrise this morning,"
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"I would be weeping right now."
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"- what does that mean? - what do you mean, jeff?"
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"What does your life mean?"
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"How long does it take you in the morning"
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"To--to make it look like you have bed head?"
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"How many sweat pants, sport jacket combos did you try"
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"Before you found the one that said "i don't care"?"
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"Seize the day, jeff, for real."
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"Go running naked in a hailstorm,"
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"Kiss a girl in the middle of the day,"
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"Fly a kite, but do it for yourself."
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"Or you won't just fail my class,"
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"- thank you."
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"That guy's really got your number."
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"- drop the flower."
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"- look, i really need to talk to you about abed."
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"I went by his film class today. he wasn't there."
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"He's cutting."
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"I want to know why he would do something like that."
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"- ask him."
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"- every time i try to ask him about it,"
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"He just keeps filming me and telling me"
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"That i'm playing the role of his mother."
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"- abed is not normal."
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"- look, will you just-- will you please talk to him?"
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"I'm out here trying to seize a day!"
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"What in the hell?"
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"- yeah, it's nice. like a--like a picnic."
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"- or a family dinner."
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"- it's a study group and a pizza."
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"Let's not get carried away."
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