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Clips from Community - Introduction to Film (S01E01)

"- britta. - jeff."
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"- britta."
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"- isn't abed's dad a hardcore muslim?"
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"They're not as understanding as christians."
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"You can get your head cut off with a salami sword."
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"That's the most racist thing i've ever heard."
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"- pierce will beat that in one minute."
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"[watch beeps]"
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"- this is really nice of you. the memo says "for dreams.""
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"- oh!"
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"- you guys, are we going to study spanish"
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"Or keep getting involved in each other's personal lives?"
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"- and how about i pound you like a boy?"
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"That didn't come out right."
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"With his cute little baby sneezes."
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"- you're not my mother. - she's not?"
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"- 29 seconds."
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"- * give me some rope, time in a tree *"
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"* give me the hope to run out of steam *"
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"* somebody said we could be here *"
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"* we could roped up, tied up, dead in a year *"
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"* one by one they all just fade away *"
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"- what's your name? - my name is shirley bennett."
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"- shirley, you get an "a"... - oh."
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"- if you can tell me why you are here at greendale."
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"- what'd i tell you?"
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"Okay, but, uh, never again."
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"- to get a degree in business"
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"So i can sell my baked goods and whatnot on the internet."
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"- why...are you here?"
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"- to get a degree in business"
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"- why are you here?"
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"- because i wasted 15 years of my life on a man"
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"Who left me with nothing but stretch marks"
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"And a foggy memory of two bland orgasms."
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"And now it's time to get what's mine."
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"- day seized."
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"Can we begin to start starting them."
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"Ms. edison here, for example, would rather write"
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"About what happens to other people"
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"Than live what is happening to her."
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"- i thought there might be a quiz."
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"Why did the pretty young girl die alone"
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"Surrounded by sweater-wearing cats"
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"Who are trained to use human toilets?"
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"Get up on your desk."
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"Come on. stand on your desk."
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"Up on your desk."
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"She made it! ha ha!"
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"Everyone stand on your desks!"
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"Up, up, up, up, up! come on."
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"Rise, rise, rise above the programming."
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"All your lives you were told don't stand on your desks."
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"Well, why not?"
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"My. - she's okay."
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"Go to the nurse. seize the day."
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"- you know, i was really moved by your honesty earlier."
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"Particularly the part about your husband"
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"Not being able, you know..."
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"- your homework. ah."
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"And tell ten people that you love them."
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"Mr. winger, can i have a word, please?"
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"- are you okay. - oh, maybe i'm not."
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"- hi."
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"Mr. winger, i like to think that every life"
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"But every year, there's always one cocky opportunist"
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"Who's just here to coast and grab an easy "a.""
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"- oh, yeah. his name's pierce."
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"I-i can talk to him for you."
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"- 's actually you, mr. winger."
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"You have no intention of seizing the day."
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"- what? listen, i-i have never lived"
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"Until i met you."
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"I-i love you."
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"Oh, there's one down. nine to go."
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"- well, i'm glad to hear it."
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"Because if you don't genuinely seize the day"
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"Before the end of the week,"
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"Then you will be seizing an "f" for the semester."
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"- you..."
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"This is no way to teach accounting!"
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"- i have to plan in advance"
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"How to prove that i live in the moment."
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"I mean, i'd rather take an actual class,"
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"But now it's too late to drop or add."
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"- it is not fair how hard it is for you to cheat here."
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"[inhales] hey, how's it going?"
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"How's your film class, buddy?"
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"- it's cool. our first assignment is a documentary."
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"They're like real movies, but with ugly people."
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"Some people don't like getting involved"
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"In other's lives."
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"I think it's great."
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"- hey, if you're making a documentary"
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"You're gonna need a backup battery."
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"- actually, i'm doing a movie about my dad."
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"- that is brilliant."
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"How did he react to you signing up for the film class?"
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"- that part hasn't happened yet. here he comes."
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"- hey! you want to get involved in my family's business?"
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"And you can see my whole face."
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"- oh, i get it!"
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"Let me tell you something, i love women."
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"But i'm getting a major b-word vibe from you."
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"- wow, i can't believe i missed out"
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"On getting involved in this."
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"- you go host american idol"
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"And you stop messing with my son."
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"He's a special boy."
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"I raise him, okay? you don't raise him."
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"- raising him means letting him follow his dreams."
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"- it's clinically proven. - so's polio."
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"- abed wants to study film."
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"- [speaking arabic]"
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"- wait, what is he saying? - he says "we're leaving.""
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"- tell him that you want to stay and study film."
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"- i don't think i'm really in the scene."
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"- see, it was hard enough to talk to him before."
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"Now we have this between us!"
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"- hey, don't touch me!"
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