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Clips from Veep - Tears (S01E01)

"Bye, Dan."
Veep
"Frankly, ma'am, I'm angry. Will, tell her why."
Veep
"that we had to bus people"
Veep
"-into the fundraiser. -Uh-huh."
Veep
"FURLONG: And now I'm being implicated in your disgusting little lies,"
Veep
"and, actually, I really don't feel like being dragged into the toilet with you, ma'am."
Veep
"Number two, number one again."
Veep
"The crying was manipulated, ma'am. I was manipulated."
Veep
"And this meeting is now terminated"
Veep
"You're gonna need to leave 'cause I'm not really aware"
Veep
"of where my actions will take me, okay?"
Veep
"What are you gonna do? You gonna choke me with some Spanx?"
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"(CHUCKLES) Do you want to try me?"
Veep
"You got breath mints in that bag? Let's go."
Veep
"Oh, you got a nice big red dot in the middle of your forehead, Danno."
Veep
"-And it ain't a fucking bindi. -Excuse me?"
Veep
"You'd better saddle up, cowgirl, 'cause I'm gonna ride this whole office"
Veep
"over the Macauley amendment and the attendant corruption."
Veep
"I think you might want to get yourself a helmet, okay?"
Veep
"And a bulletproof vest and an iron jockstrap."
Veep
"'Cause you're gonna get your head shot, your back stabbed, and your nuts danced on."
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"Have a good Monday."
Veep
"In your face, Dan. (GRUNTS)"
Veep
"-regarding my promotion. -Really?"
Veep
"Well, can I un-promote you? I don't think so."
Veep
"Is he my boss again?"
Veep
"Only in title, all right? You're still senior to him."
Veep
"In your fucking face."
Veep
"Stop it, okay? Please, Mike."
Veep
"Hey, Dan, I'm gonna take a rain check on that beer, okay?"
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"Oh, my God in heaven. So, let's see."
Veep
"The guy that I have just put in charge of rebutting"
Veep
"is now in charge of rebutting questions over the Macauley amendment,"
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"which is the very thing he should be nowhere near rebutting."
Veep
"Right?"
Veep
"I did warn you about him, ma'am."
Veep
"Okay, get out, Amy. Get out of my office."
Veep
"See now, now I want to cry."
Veep
"-Can I get you a cup of tea? Okay. -Yeah."
Veep
"Now I don't fucking know if I can cry anymore."
Veep
"I mean, you've only got four years of this, so..."
Veep
"Sixteen, two-term."
Veep
"So think about that."
Veep
"Egan, all right? Dan Egan. That's Dan with a capital D"
Veep
"Yeah, I'll hold."
Veep
"MIKE: When Dan goes home, I want that desk back here, okay?"
Veep
"Well, that's tomorrow in the plural."
Veep
"Am I all packed, Gary?"
Veep
"Good to see you again, buddy."
Veep
"I recognize you. You're one of Selina's little gay dwarves, aren't you?"
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"It's too soon! It's too soon!"
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"-Are you kidding me? -Not great, admittedly."
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"66%."
Veep
"(ALL GROAN)"
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"She can thank the troops, she can charm all the mouth-breathers,"
Veep
"Clean Jobs was your office, right?"
Veep
"(SIRENS BLARING)"
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"Okay, this is the hotel manager. We promised him four seconds."
Veep
"MIKE: Oh, piss. Ma'am. SELINA: Yeah?"
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"-talking about their careers. -Oh. Mmm."
Veep
"I did not forget."
Veep
"Listen, I've seen the disapproval numbers."
Veep
"Apologies, ma'am. Effed in the b-hole across all networks."
Veep
"Ma'am, I don't want you to endorse my run for governor at this time."
Veep
"And now I've, you know, been told to come here and endorse you."
Veep
"All right, this might sound crazy, but go with it."
Veep
"Her crying was very authentic"
Veep
"All we've got to do is set her up and let the cameras roll."
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"with eyes drawn on it, so..."
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"-Okay, ma'am. Light and frothy. -Yeah."
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"-Big three industries in Ohio. -Yeah."
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"-Rubber, petrochemical, agriculture. -Right. Okay."
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"-Chung. -Shut up."
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"Does that bother you?"
Veep
"Oh, wow, and look at this group."
Veep
"If this plays in Ohio, it's gonna go national."
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"-Madam Vice President. -Yes?"
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"-Uh-huh. -Okay?"
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"You got grabbers. And then you have the other kind."
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"SELINA: I just want to eat in a quiet corner away from these bozos."
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"you might get what we call corpse fucking."
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"What?"
Veep
"-Oh, shit. -Yeah, it's good."
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"No, no, no. We want her to endorse now."
Veep
"I just spent all afternoon fixing this for you."
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"(ALL CHEERING)"
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"We used to have a saying in our family."
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"But we were mighty proud of our buckeyes."
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"-You're sure? -Endorse. Yes."
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"to be the next, the best, governor of Ohio."
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"-Absolutely. -Oh, boy."
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"Don't forget your booster seat."
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"-Thanks so much. -Okay."
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"Hey, that photographer who reads lips, he's not here, is he?"
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"-Huh. -Well, it wasn't an actual call."
Veep
"I want you to be in charge of day-to-day rebuttal for me, all right?"
Veep
"Funny. Is that true?"
Veep
"-They bring kids in to watch that. -Fuck off."
Veep
"Yeah, you know what? Run it by my secretary. His name is Mike."
Veep
"No, no, no, you've got to move that back."
Veep
"Mike engineered your crying, ma'am."
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"Number one, Congressman,"
Veep
"I wouldn't worry about it, ma'am."
Veep
"Yes, E as in ears."
Veep
"Oh, forum's not happening."
Veep
"Oh, my! Okay, great."
Veep
"Thank you so much for seeing me."
Veep
"I don't really care for you much either personally."
Veep
"Don't you patronize me with your no jaw."
Veep
"The crying game play, all right?"
Veep
"Clean Jobs initiative, dead in the water."
Veep
"Well, I mean, it's a punishing schedule, that's for sure."
Veep
"You'll catch partisan shit. There's gonna be grandstanding."
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"Please be seated. Thank you so much. It is my very..."
Veep
"Oh, shove it up your ass."
Veep
"Can I just say that this is really exciting to watch?"
Veep
"Mike got you to cry on camera."
Veep
"SUE: No, she's busy. And tomorrow."
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"I think they got it wrong. They counted those numbers wrong or something."
Veep
"Don't you say it gives you no pleasure."
Veep
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