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Clips from Veep - Tears (S01E01)

"Yeah, we're all covered."
Veep
"-Yeah. Last I heard, he was three over par. -Huh?"
Veep
"-Dan. Dan Egan. -Hey."
Veep
"Slaving away for Furlong?"
Veep
"Well, I am the senior advisor now. So I get free Wi-Fi."
Veep
"Listen, Dan, the congressman expects your boss to endorse him for governor."
Veep
"Yeah, we're aware of that."
Veep
"-Right, Will? -Yes, sir."
Veep
"So what? There's plenty to do here in Cleveland."
Veep
"Send her to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame."
Veep
"-Mmm-hmm. -He's back. He's been un-reassigned."
Veep
"He's not outside here, is he? Oh, hi!"
Veep
"All right, that's all I want to say to him for the rest of my life."
Veep
"-Hey, approval ratings just came through. -Oh."
Veep
"I get the stamp of approval from her,"
Veep
"informal understanding going on around here."
Veep
"-Isn't that right, Will? -Yes, sir."
Veep
"Macauley thing, yeah, that didn't happen."
Veep
"Sir, you're the Vice Chair of the Congressional Oversight Committee."
Veep
"-She seems nice. -Yeah."
Veep
"That's everyone in America who's awake right now."
Veep
"Let's concentrate on Ohio."
Veep
"-It's tomato juice. It's the Ohio state beverage. -(SELINA GROANS)"
Veep
"I just gave her that news."
Veep
"No, that makes me look even weaker."
Veep
"but each individual egg"
Veep
"What's this about, Congressman?"
Veep
"Well, I was hoping maybe, ma'am, we could have a moment."
Veep
"It's being put to me that..."
Veep
"It's being put to me that, and I apologize,"
Veep
"-Where is it located, Will? -The toilet."
Veep
"Again, not my words. So..."
Veep
"I don't even like you."
Veep
"So do you understand how embarrassing this would be for me now not to endorse you?"
Veep
"And listen, in the spirit of reciprocity, ma'am,"
Veep
"No, I don't need five minutes."
Veep
"I'm absolutely fucking fine. Thank you very much."
Veep
"You know, Roger, do you sometimes think about,"
Veep
"and black is up, but brown is down now?"
Veep
"-Do you know what I mean? -Mmm-hmm."
Veep
"I haven't seen my daughter in, like, three months."
Veep
"Look, Madam Vice President, I'm sorry."
Veep
"You Congressman No Jaw!"
Veep
"-Get the fuck out. -Okay. Okay."
Veep
"-I'm sorry about your tears. -Yeah."
Veep
"and humanizing."
Veep
"I actually found it slightly erotic, too."
Veep
"We should spitball on this, though."
Veep
"-What is that? -Don't worry about it."
Veep
"It is just great to be back in the state of Ohio."
Veep
"You talk a lot about really wanting to be able to make change."
Veep
"So you feel you're back in the game?"
Veep
"that the President is golfing with Governor Chung."
Veep
"Well, I mean, the President can play golf with whoever he likes."
Veep
"imagine how tired the rubber makers are here in Ohio."
Veep
"I saw the meltdown."
Veep
"Congressman, I saw passion."
Veep
"If she mentions my name, if I get the stamp of approval,"
Veep
"Ask your buddy Macauley about it. Maybe he can help you."
Veep
"Hello! Yes. I see you."
Veep
"We're getting great media response to the interview."
Veep
"-Are you getting this, too? -No, better."
Veep
"I made you a cake with your face on it."
Veep
"I think she's only paid 50 bucks."
Veep
"I have to go."
Veep
"I have some great ideas about tax reform I want to talk to you about."
Veep
"-I don't have a name for that. -Oh."
Veep
"And that's the essence of a grabber."
Veep
"-Okay? -Mmm-hmm."
Veep
"I'd get more than a stuffed chicken breast."
Veep
"That guy didn't give 500 bucks, he's got a chicken breast."
Veep
"-SELINA: Okay. -Throw me a drumstick or something."
Veep
"-Larry. -Hey."
Veep
"Right?"
Veep
"and there's gonna be a kill,"
Veep
"Jesus. Corpse fucking?"
Veep
"-Yeah. -Yeah."
Veep
"Thank you so, so, very, very much. Good evening, everyone."
Veep
"What are you doing?"
Veep
"Sir, this crying is tracking pretty well."
Veep
"Okay? She's gone from toxic to turn-on."
Veep
"You guys are burning a fucking hole through my stomach, all right?"
Veep
"Is this your first day in the game?"
Veep
"Selina Meyer."
Veep
"So wonderful. Thank you."
Veep
"There's no international signal to endorse."
Veep
"Use your fucking head. Give her a thumbs up or something."
Veep
"Thank you very much."
Veep
"She can't cry three times in a day."
Veep
"How big are her tear ducts?"
Veep
"Jesus Christ. Fuck it, don't endorse."
Veep
"My grandfather, he was from Cincinnati, as a matter of fact. Oh!"
Veep
"I still miss my grandpa."
Veep
"What is that, Popeye?"
Veep
"And so that’s why I’ve come here today."
Veep
"What the hell just happened?"
Veep
"(LAUGHING)"
Veep
"-Good morning! -MIKE: Morning!"
Veep
"Did you see the Chicago Tribune?"
Veep
"-What a great job you did. -My pleasure."
Veep
"How about that round of applause?"
Veep
"I come bearing a message of support from the President."
Veep
"-I am here in lieu of that call. -Uh-huh."
Veep
"-What business? -That's a need-to-know basis, Mike."
Veep
"This is sad. You're like an old panda that's gonna get put down at the zoo."
Veep
"You remain crucial to my policy team."
Veep
"All right, boys and girls, I got a promotion."
Veep
"which I already have written."
Veep
"Okay, and you and you,"
Veep
"Take your little snack pack and your water bottle and get the fuck out."
Veep
"I'm not gonna be sitting here looking at your cow eyes the whole time."
Veep
"Guys, seat goes right here."
Veep
"Twitter eruption. Veep's trending."
Veep
"-Amy, what's going on? -Yeah?"
Veep
"He said that he was your puppet master."
Veep
"but I think he meant Geppetto, who was actually the puppet master."
Veep
"Well, then get the hell out of my way, you leaning tower of..."
Veep
"-Move it. -Yes, sir."
Veep
"Hey, sweet cakes. I need to get in to see the Veep."
Veep
"I'm sick of taking your shit, okay?"
Veep
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