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Clips from Veep - Tears (S01E01)

"Who are you?"
Veep
"-Who is this fucking infant? -No one."
Veep
"-Right. -Right?"
Veep
"Yes, of course. I get it, yeah."
Veep
"You can't stop me from endorsing you."
Veep
"Then I will reject the endorsement publically."
Veep
"Madam Vice President, do you need five minutes?"
Veep
"I don't know, I give you this and you give me that"
Veep
"I mean, in life or even just with love,"
Veep
"you know, I mean, at the end of the day,"
Veep
"aren't we just all finally just people? (CHUCKLES)"
Veep
"-True words, ma'am. -Yeah."
Veep
"I mean, you know, I haven't..."
Veep
"And Ted is just... Ah!"
Veep
"I don't know where he went, you know?"
Veep
"And I would..."
Veep
"I would love to go to that party, you know?"
Veep
"I would like to be everywhere."
Veep
"This doesn't give me any pleasure."
Veep
"When anybody ever says that,"
Veep
"all they mean is that it does give them so much pleasure."
Veep
"-Look... -I know what that means."
Veep
"Maybe you should make an address, okay?"
Veep
"Talk about politics and America working together."
Veep
"I know how to give a motherfucking speech."
Veep
"Okay, ma'am. We should... We have to go."
Veep
"He was just not a nice man."
Veep
"I'll get you some tea, okay?"
Veep
"I'll get you some tea. I'll just leave Mike. He can stay here with you."
Veep
"They suck."
Veep
"You know, my papaw used to say,"
Veep
"It's always darkest before the storm. So..."
Veep
"Oh, the dawn, the dawn."
Veep
"It's always darkest before the dawn. And then he would kiss me."
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"I like your thinking."
Veep
"I take it back."
Veep
"That's why it took me so long to split up with Angie."
Veep
"She'd always cry, I'd always get a hard-on."
Veep
"-Now you've lost me. -Listen."
Veep
"How do we make it happen?"
Veep
"Could spray her with pepper spray."
Veep
"Call her fat. Kidding."
Veep
"What is it that made her cry?"
Veep
"It's Catherine, right? The absent mother blubber."
Veep
"-Genius. -Yeah."
Veep
"Chinese daughter torture. It's a good one."
Veep
"I can't believe we're doing this."
Veep
"On the other hand, we are currently polling lower than a side of beef"
Veep
"-Cappuccino politics, okay? -Right."
Veep
"-Hit rubber. It's a big rubber state. -Okay. Good. Yeah."
Veep
"What is that, a fax? Is that a message to yourself from 1988?"
Veep
"Look who's playing golf with the President."
Veep
"Felicia, one second. Feel free to dive right in on the daughter, okay?"
Veep
"'Cause we want to hit these disapproval ratings head-on."
Veep
"See, when he says things like that to me, it makes me anxious."
Veep
"We just found out that Governor Chung is golfing with POTUS."
Veep
"So, if you want to talk about that..."
Veep
"-All right. -Thank you so much."
Veep
"Been a rough couple of months for you, though."
Veep
"Your filibuster reform stalled."
Veep
"Do you still think you're gonna be able to make that happen?"
Veep
"Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I'm very proud"
Veep
"of what we've been able to achieve thus far."
Veep
"Well, it's not a game to me."
Veep
"Is she gonna go? I just understand today"
Veep
"But I'm here because I have work to do."
Veep
"It's 24/7. It's a public duty."
Veep
"24/7 doesn't leave you much time for your family, your daughter."
Veep
"and you get knocked back."
Veep
"But..."
Veep
"Can you imagine, Felicia, if I'm tired,"
Veep
"She is magnificent."
Veep
"Making rubber day in and day out."
Veep
"I feel that Ohio is the rubber ball state,"
Veep
"if you think about it."
Veep
"Always bouncing back."
Veep
"I don't know what the hell she could have been thinking."
Veep
"When was the last time you cried twice in one day?"
Veep
"It was a little more recently than you'd think."
Veep
"FURLONG: Odd Job. (WHISTLES)"
Veep
"Come here. What the fuck gives with your boss?"
Veep
"-I saw conviction. -I saw a fucking crazy lady. That's what I saw."
Veep
"the Midas touch from Jenny Shitfinger, I'm coming for you, pal."
Veep
"Me and the Congress of the United States will get your ass."
Veep
"Yes, sir."
Veep
"MAN: (ON MICROPHONE) Here comes the Vice President."
Veep
"Are they gonna live long enough to make it to election day?"
Veep
"Right behind me? Probably not."
Veep
"Hello, children who do not vote."
Veep
"I've been polling the room. It's warm, it's friendly."
Veep
"Come on, Amy."
Veep
"-Marcus. -What?"
Veep
"Are you kidding me? Oh!"
Veep
"That looks like me after a long day in the Senate."
Veep
"(ALL CHUCKLING)"
Veep
"I'd like to introduce you to one of our actual platinum donors."
Veep
"-I want to hear them. -Well, there's two types of people."
Veep
"The grabbers, all right, they take the world by the scrotum, okay?"
Veep
"Oh!"
Veep
"-And they make it happen. -This is just riveting stuff."
Veep
"-I'm so sorry. So sorry. -Yes?"
Veep
"I don't know what to say, so I'm just whispering instead."
Veep
"Oh, mmm-hmm, I have the..."
Veep
"-Middle East. -You can talk later."
Veep
"-We have all night. -I appreciate that. Hello. Uh-huh."
Veep
"AMY: Okay."
Veep
"You'd think with all the money I'm jerking up the wall here,"
Veep
"Right, well, you know, I've got to tell you, these caterers, they've got..."
Veep
"I gave 30,000 bucks, I get a chicken breast."
Veep
"What do I get, stuffing?"
Veep
"-It's good to see you. -Why, you need a lawyer? (CHUCKLES)"
Veep
"All right, look. Listen."
Veep
"I may have gotten involved in a little something."
Veep
"What happens if I get called in before a congressional committee?"
Veep
"Okay, you need three versions of your statement."
Veep
"Uh-huh, like what I say happened, what they say happened, and the truth?"
Veep
"A written, an oral, and a shorter oral in case of a time limit."
Veep
"-Right. -Yeah."
Veep
"You want to tell a congressional committee the truth, Dan."
Veep
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