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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - So Chineez (S01E01)

"If you trade me Jamaica,"
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"I'll hook you up with Topanga's phone number."
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"Please. There's no way you have her number."
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"This is Topanga."
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"Yes."
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"Yes."
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"Yes."
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"Yes."
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"I know why Jessica asked you here."
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"Oh, we just wanted to check out your restaurant."
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"Oh, are you two members of the North Orlando country club?"
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"Not smooth, Jessica. Not smooth."
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"Come on, Louis, you've got to join."
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"This club is classy as hell."
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"a second location of the restaurant."
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"Oh, I have pals at the club that can help you with that."
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"It's nothing but fresh white towels"
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"and handshake deals."
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"Fine, I'll go on a tour."
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"Oh! Yay!"
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"Good man."
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"Oh, and, hey,"
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"we can be your first Asian-American members."
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"Ooh! Oh, I didn't even think of that."
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"O-oh, you know."
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"Yeah. Ooh! How are the crunch bites?"
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"Mnh, neither crunchy or bite-sized."
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"The name is quite misleading. They're wet and huge."
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"I made a drawing of our family riding a horse."
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""Good job, boys"? What does that even mean?"
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"was a drawing of a hand turkey."
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"You know what happened, right?"
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"We've been too awesome for too long."
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"She's gotten used to greatness."
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"You? I'm gonna get something on that fridge before you."
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"Shh! Hear that?"
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"Oh, it's just me..."
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"coming for you."
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"Have you seen my good tennis shorts? The one with the turtle on it?"
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"Marvin says sometimes he forgets we're Chinese."
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"Maybe he's forgetting because we're forgetting."
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"I mean, when did we start wearing shoes in the house?"
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"They're like suction cups in those boots."
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"Wearing shoes in the house"
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"Look, all Marvin meant was he sees us as Americans first."
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"Isn't that what we want?"
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"What I don't want is for the boys to forget"
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"where they came from."
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"Look, Jessica, we're doing fine."
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"Yes, don't worry."
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"Hey, mom, I need help with my mandarin."
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"I'm trying to talk off grandma."
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"How do you say,"
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""can you say that in English, grandma?""
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"Big ups, y'all!"
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"Mom, I'm Jamaican."
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"Ja-makin' me dinner, mom?"
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"Mom, ja-making me dinner?"
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"What?"
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"Ugh! What's for dinner, mom?"
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"Macaroni and... Cheese."
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"With bacon bits!"
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"Boys! Breakfast!"
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"I'm making some changes around here."
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"From now on, no more wearing shoes in the house."
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"We are also going to start speaking more mandarin at home."
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"But I only know the bad words."
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"after your regular school..."
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"_"
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"But Tampa's, like, two hours away!"
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"It's important we don't forget our heritage."
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"We all have to make sacrifices."
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"I'm even giving up "Melrose place.""
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"_"
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"Well, I wish I could do all this,"
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"but I gotta go work on my Jamaica project."
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"And that's another thing."
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"Well, we purposely didn't give China to Eddie"
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"So you treated him differently because he's Chinese?"
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"- Switch Eddie to China. - Absolutely."
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"Of course, daddy. I'll be by the pool."
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"Okay. No bikinis."
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"No bikinis!"
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"And this... Is our tennis court, Louis."
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"The net is always taut."
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"We have an endless supply of tennis balls."
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"Ha ha! See?"
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"Who cares where that went?"
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"Come on. Whack a few with me."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"Give it a shot."
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"Whoa."
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"- Uh-huh? - This is so wasteful."
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"So... You ready to join?"
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"Uh, the amenities are great,"
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"but it still feels like too much of a luxury right now."
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"- It's the Hoagie King! - Yep, he's a member."
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"He owns a wholesale bakery."
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"Man, if I had a connection like that,"
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"I could get cheaper bread rolls."
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"Well, think bigger, my friend. Think bigger!"
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"This jerk here wants to expand his steakhouse."
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"Let's talk business in my cabana."
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"A cabana?"
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"I like a guy who likes to get out of the sun."
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"I got a 150 out of 100 on my quiz."
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"I made a drawing of you in stipple."
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"Mom, why did you get me reassigned?"
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"Every-ting gonna be "irie.""
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"Jamaica's so much cooler than China."
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"You know what's cool?"
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"A wall you can see from space... China."
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"Birthplace of kung fu... China."
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"Gunpowder, the compass, gambling... China, China, China!"
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"Chicken feet. It's for good fidelity."
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"I don't want good fidelity."
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"You know what else is cool?"
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"China."
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"I can see its... toenail."
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"- No! - Homework!"
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