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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Pilot (S01E01)

"- The airport in France?"
Mr. Mayor
"- No, my daughter."
Mr. Mayor
"Who was conceived at the airport in France."
Mr. Mayor
"- Mayor Delgado's now believed to be in the back of this taxi"
Mr. Mayor
"and has requested the driver to quote,"
Mr. Mayor
""Drive him into the ocean.""
Mr. Mayor
"- No, that's not laundry. That's my dad."
Mr. Mayor
"No, he doesn't work. Not even on Zoom."
Mr. Mayor
"No, he wasn't Me Too-ed."
Mr. Mayor
"No, the salad dressing guy was Paul Newman."
Mr. Mayor
"I don't know. Nothing?"
Mr. Mayor
"I love you, Dad!"
Mr. Mayor
"I'll help you turn off the TV later."
Mr. Mayor
"- Looks like Los Angeles is going to need a new mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"[uplifting music]"
Mr. Mayor
"- She thinks I'm a useless, old man."
Mr. Mayor
"Does that make you feel better?"
Mr. Mayor
"And I get it. Never seen me work."
Mr. Mayor
"Her mother died eight years ago,"
Mr. Mayor
"and when that happened, I decided to cash out and retire."
Mr. Mayor
"I wanted to be around Orly as much as possible."
Mr. Mayor
"- This is getting intense. - I know."
Mr. Mayor
"I forgot we were even here."
Mr. Mayor
"- But now, I have a chance to prove to her--"
Mr. Mayor
"to--to myself that I'm not done."
Mr. Mayor
"Not yet."
Mr. Mayor
"- You ran for mayor to impress your daughter?"
Mr. Mayor
"What a fun present for a child. She must be over the moon."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, actually, she's furious with me."
Mr. Mayor
"- Boy, you really don't know what you're doing."
Mr. Mayor
"Not just at work, but at home."
Mr. Mayor
"- Excuse me, but I ran a billion-dollar company."
Mr. Mayor
"I do know a few things."
Mr. Mayor
"- You need to learn how to listen, Whitey."
Mr. Mayor
"- Whitey? - Your hair."
Mr. Mayor
"When my constituents come to me pissed off,"
Mr. Mayor
"they don't wanna hear that they're wrong,"
Mr. Mayor
"or have me explain that my intentions were good."
Mr. Mayor
"They just wanna be heard."
Mr. Mayor
"So what do I do? I listen."
Mr. Mayor
"And I say, "Thank you for telling me that.""
Mr. Mayor
"That's what you should do with little Heathrow."
Mr. Mayor
"- All right, you messed that up on purpose."
Mr. Mayor
"We're done here. - Are you ready, Mr. Mayor?"
Mr. Mayor
"The children's choir's getting pretty deep"
Mr. Mayor
"into the Red Hot Chili Pepper's catalog."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, hi, you must be Mrs. Bremer."
Mr. Mayor
"- You just saw her on TV-- - He wishes!"
Mr. Mayor
"- She's scary."
Mr. Mayor
"."
Mr. Mayor
"- You missed a great party last night."
Mr. Mayor
"- Mm-hmm."
Mr. Mayor
"- You know, Orly,"
Mr. Mayor
"the first time I went into a bank to get a loan"
Mr. Mayor
"for my business, they turned me away."
Mr. Mayor
"And you know what I did? - You grew a mustache."
Mr. Mayor
"- I grew a mustache."
Mr. Mayor
"Got shoes and a shirt."
Mr. Mayor
"- Were you naked the first time?"
Mr. Mayor
"- No, I was wearing jean shorts."
Mr. Mayor
"It was the '70s."
Mr. Mayor
"The point is, I kept going back in there"
Mr. Mayor
"until I was wearing a suit, and they gave me that loan."
Mr. Mayor
"If you believe in something,"
Mr. Mayor
"don't give up, don't take no for an answer."
Mr. Mayor
"Except for with sex. Now, that's different."
Mr. Mayor
"We'll sidebar that."
Mr. Mayor
"However, my advisors have convinced me"
Mr. Mayor
"to drop the straw ban,"
Mr. Mayor
"and I hope that makes things easier for you."
Mr. Mayor
"- Do whatever you want."
Mr. Mayor
"After yesterday, I'm not gonna win,"
Mr. Mayor
"so I'm dropping out of the race."
Mr. Mayor
"- Thank you for telling me that."
Mr. Mayor
"- I mean, like, Veda was gonna win anyway."
Mr. Mayor
"She's better than me at everything,"
Mr. Mayor
"so I just feel stupid now, and I give up."
Mr. Mayor
"- Thank you for telling me that."
Mr. Mayor
"- Is that all you're gonna say?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Thank you for telling me that."
Mr. Mayor
"- Um, okay."
Mr. Mayor
"Bye."
Mr. Mayor
"[light music]"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"- So did you tell your dad you're quitting?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Who said I'm quitting?"
Mr. Mayor
"[elevator dings]"
Mr. Mayor
"- I found my house!"
Mr. Mayor
"[chuckles] - Good for you."
Mr. Mayor
"- How are you doing today, Mr. Mayor?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I've been better, Jayden."
Mr. Mayor
"- When? I would love to see that."
Mr. Mayor
"Were you on a motorcycle? - What do you need?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, Arpi Meskimen is pretty worked up"
Mr. Mayor
"about the whole coyote population explosion,"
Mr. Mayor
"but not in the way you might think."
Mr. Mayor
"She thinks that the word coyote is "cultural appropriation,""
Mr. Mayor
"and that we should be calling them "mini wolves.""
Mr. Mayor
"She also thinks we should pay for their birth control,"
Mr. Mayor
"so you're gonna get asked about that."
Mr. Mayor
"- We're backing down from the straw ban,"
Mr. Mayor
"so why is Meskimen still attacking me?"
Mr. Mayor
"Never feed a dog from the table."
Mr. Mayor
"They just keep coming back for more."
Mr. Mayor
"- That is why I only feed my turtle from my own mouth."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sit down. - Oh, okay."
Mr. Mayor
"- You know, that wasn't me yesterday."
Mr. Mayor
"When you give something, you should get something in return."
Mr. Mayor
"And Arpi knows that."
Mr. Mayor
"She's been in government for 30 years."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah. - So what is she up to?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Gosh, what is she up to? Right?"
Mr. Mayor
"[sighs] You know, my mom always said"
Mr. Mayor
"that when people keep punching you and punching you,"
Mr. Mayor
"it's because they're jealous of your homemade pants."
Mr. Mayor
"- Arpi beat me because I don't even know"
Mr. Mayor
"what game we're playing."
Mr. Mayor
"- Pfft! She didn't beat you. She just tied you."
Mr. Mayor
"It's one-one now."
Mr. Mayor
"You know, because she tried to run for mayor,"
Mr. Mayor
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