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Clips from Farzar - Save the Reaper Demons (S01E01)

"♪ In the arms of the angel ♪"
Farzar
"♪ Fly away from here ♪"
Farzar
"[woman] Many people don't know"
Farzar
"this poor, hungry creature is on the verge of extinction."
Farzar
"I'm speaking, of course, about the reaper demon."
Farzar
"[snarls]"
Farzar
"[woman] These innocent creatures are shrieking nightmarishly for your love."
Farzar
"You can save the reaper demons"
Farzar
"for the price of a cup of Blarn milk a day."
Farzar
"Will you be an angel for a helpless demon?"
Farzar
"♪ Find ♪"
Farzar
"♪ Some comfort here ♪"
Farzar
"Who the hell is dumb enough to start a foundation to save the reaper demons?"
Farzar
"I'm calling that number and giving that idiot a piece of my mind."
Farzar
"[phone chimes]"
Farzar
"Save the reaper demons."
Farzar
"Fichael, keep it down. I'm trying to talk to this dumbass."
Farzar
"Dad, keep it down. I'm trying to talk to this dumbass."
Farzar
"Will you two keep it down? I'm trying to talk to President Banana."
Farzar
"Are you fucking my wife, President Banana?"
Farzar
"Hello? Hello! [sighs]"
Farzar
"Thanks, you two. Well, my first non-Fichael donor just hung up."
Farzar
"Wait, you started Save the Reaper Demons? Are you fucking nuts?"
Farzar
"Dad, if we don't help them, they're gonna go extinct."
Farzar
"I want them to go extinct. You never heard of the Reaper Demon War?"
Farzar
"No."
Farzar
"Oh, yeah. I only let the schools teach the wars we won."
Farzar
"It was a shit show."
Farzar
"I mean, not me. I was modestly heroic."
Farzar
"But then my bone spurs started acting up"
Farzar
"and the reaper demons killed, like, four billion people."
Farzar
"Well, you'll change your tune on reaper demons"
Farzar
"once you see how lovable mine is."
Farzar
"He's in the sanctuary I built for him."
Farzar
"You built a what? Domestic-violence-bot, get in here."
Farzar
"I'm only doing this because I'm angry at myself."
Farzar
"Ah!"
Farzar
"Stop it, Renzo!"
Farzar
"Fichael's built that sanctuary with his hard-earned money."
Farzar
"Which reminds me, here's your allowance, dear!"
Farzar
"Thank you, Mommy. I love your golden showers!"
Farzar
"The kind she gives me smells like sour Blarn milk and ammonia."
Farzar
"Renzo, you will visit his sanctuary."
Farzar
"It'll be a great father-son day."
Farzar
"Did I ever tell you about the time my father took me to the most in--"
Farzar
"[snores]"
Farzar
"All right, Fichael,"
Farzar
"I guess your mom's forcing me to take a look at your happy horseshit sanctuary."
Farzar
"Is the coast clear, baby?"
Farzar
"[adventurous music playing]"
Farzar
"♪ Farzar ♪"
Farzar
"[rock music playing]"
Farzar
"I'm so depressed."
Farzar
"I had a chance to take over the human city"
Farzar
"and instead I made a fool of myself and became a dragon's butt plug."
Farzar
"Don't worry, Master. I'm sure everyone's forgotten about that."
Farzar
"Hey, look! It's the dragon's butt plug!"
Farzar
"I'll never forget that. That memory's locked in forever."
Farzar
"I suggest you shut your mouth, Trondo,"
Farzar
"because if you don't, I'm gonna kick my friend's ass."
Farzar
"-What? -Oh, just let me do it."
Farzar
"It'll make me look tough. [grunting]"
Farzar
"What's this thing made of? It's harder than a reaper demon's asshole."
Farzar
"[groans]"
Farzar
"Could you break this and stab yourself in the eyeball, please?"
Farzar
"Oh, wait. Wait. He left."
Farzar
"Cheer up, Master. Bazarack Show of Force Day is tomorrow."
Farzar
"You always love showing off your scorpion tank."
Farzar
"I do love a subtle military parade."
Farzar
"Last year was fun."
Farzar
"[cheering]"
Farzar
"[rock music playing]"
Farzar
"[screaming]"
Farzar
"♪ She's got tentacles That were eight feet long ♪"
Farzar
"♪ I want to love you, pretty baby All night long! ♪"
Farzar
"Oh. I love this band! They rhymed "long" with "long.""
Farzar
"I wish you would have let me drive."
Farzar
"I'm fine. You want to help me so fucking bad, give me your boot."
Farzar
"What for?"
Farzar
"Oh God."
Farzar
"Now put it back on before it starts to stink."
Farzar
"Holy shit! I'd kick a flerben in the spore pouch for some hash browns."
Farzar
"Hey, tell me when we get close to Plorpus's Pancake Pod,"
Farzar
"'cause I think I just went blind."
Farzar
"There it is."
Farzar
"[screams]"
Farzar
"What are you gonna do? Arrest me?"
Farzar
"What are you gonna do? Shank me?"
Farzar
"What are you gonna do? Bake me a cake and be my best friend?"
Farzar
"Oh, now it doesn't work, huh?"
Farzar
"[ominous music plays]"
Farzar
"Dad, I'm so glad that you're coming to see the reaper demon I rescued"
Farzar
"and that you invited the whole gang to come along."
Farzar
"But why are they heavily armed?"
Farzar
"In case of… space pirates."
Farzar
"Oh, I hate space pirates. They ruin everything."
Farzar
"Dad, can you take me fishing?"
Farzar
"I can't. Space pirates killed all the fish."
Farzar
"I think I'm allergic to Blarn milk. Can you take me to the hospital?"
Farzar
"Nope, space pirates blew it up."
Farzar
"What's going on here?"
Farzar
"Space pirates, mon."
Farzar
"Here we are, the Reaper Demon Sanctuary."
Farzar
"All right, the plan is to get in there"
Farzar
"and kill that reaper demon before it knows what hit him."
Farzar
"It should be easy since it's in captivity."
Farzar
"What? Wait, you're gonna kill it?"
Farzar
"Oh, Fichael will be devastated."
Farzar
"I mean, I would warn him, but it's Mama's day off."
Farzar
"I'm gonna puke in my purse later."
Farzar
"Ugh."
Farzar
"We must kill it. They are abominations. Mistakes of nature."
Farzar
"Ha ha, freaks."
Farzar
"Me Billy! Hey!"
Farzar
"Look, I can't wait to finally slay me a reaper demon,"
Farzar
"but if I wanted to kill things in cages, I'd go to PetSmart. [chuckles]"
Farzar
"You know, 'cause I kill puppies."
Farzar
"It's not like I love them or boop their little noses."
Farzar
"Look, I say we set this thing free and have some real fucking fun."
Farzar
"Trust me, you don't wanna do that."
Farzar
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