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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Irish Pub Formulation (S04E04)

"Open gate."
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""It's locked." Hmm."
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"Well, so much for that."
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"- It's pretty late. You're still up? - I found an emulator online..."
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"...that lets you play classic text-based computer games from the 1980s."
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"- That's pretty cool. - Oh, yes."
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"It runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip:"
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"Imagination."
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""You can't go that way.""
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"Go west."
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""A troll blocks your passage.""
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"Kill troll."
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""With what?""
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""You don't have the sword." Good golly..."
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"- Raj finally went to bed. - Yeah..."
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"You said he goes to bed at 9."
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"He got caught up in a computer game and..."
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"Hit troll with axe."
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"Hit troll with axe. Hit troll with axe."
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"If the past is any indication, no."
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"Leonard, I'm trapped in quicksand. The axe is dragging me down."
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"- Drop axe. - Drop axe. Brilliant."
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"Give me a minute."
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"- Sheldon. - Hold on."
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"I need to figure out how to get the bucket..."
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"- You need to work in the morning. - I know."
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"Really? You'll risk getting sleepy..."
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"...in the middle of your thermodynamic fluctuations seminar?"
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"You know what happens when you yawn in public."
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"Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula."
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"And you don't want that, do you?"
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"No."
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"But it's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated."
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"Who was at the door?"
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"Uh, building manager."
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"Uh, they have to fix a pipe, so the water will be off tomorrow from noon to 2."
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"That's unacceptable. We're supposed to be given written notice."
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"What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt and come home to change..."
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"...only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak?"
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"Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon."
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"I'll have the chicken noodle. Good night."
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"We're gonna have to be very quiet."
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"I know how to get the bucket."
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"Go north."
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""You are in a forest.""
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"Go north."
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""You are in a forest.""
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"Go north. "You are in a forest.""
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"Oh, dear, I believe I'm lost. I'll have to get a fresh start tomorrow."
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"No, no, no. You... You just need to map it out. Come on, I'll help you."
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"Oh."
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"- Leonard, wake up. - Huh? What...? Uh, sorry."
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"- For what? - I don't know."
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"When I'm in bed with a girl, it's my go-to response."
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"I have to get back to Raj's before he wakes up and realizes I'm gone."
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"Oh, right. Sure."
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"- Wish you could stay a while longer. - Hmm, me too."
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"You know, I was thinking."
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"Where are you going with this, Leonard?"
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"Oh, I'm just saying, you know, I don't have any real ties here..."
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"...so if I were to move to New Delhi, we could, you know, go out."
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"Leonard, didn't we have this conversation five years ago?"
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"Well, yes, but things have changed. You're older, I'm older."
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"Look, no more superhero bed sheets."
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"Sweetheart, just because we have fun when I come to town..."
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"- It doesn't? - Mm-mm."
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"They'd have a cow. Which is a much bigger deal in India."
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"My great-great-grandmother was half Cherokee."
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"That's not the right kind of Indian, but it is something."
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"Leonard. Leonard. Leonard."
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"Oh, uh, yeah. I was trying to see if I could laugh as a woman."
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"Oh. Well, good job. Quite convincing."
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"- I smell perfume. - Air freshener."
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"And is that lipstick on your cheek and neck?"
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"Uh, rash. That's a bad rash."
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"My sympathies."
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"I'm no stranger to the crimson scourge that is dermatitis."
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"Can I interest you in a topical steroid from my lotion and unguent collection?"
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"Uh, yeah, yeah. That sounds great."
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"Very well. I'm sure I can find something that will help you ditch that itch."
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"Uh..."
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"- Cream. - With or without a numbing agent?"
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"- Without. - Really, Leonard?"
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"Fine, with."
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"- Prescription or nonprescription? - Use your best judgment."
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"Well, I think I have a nice 2009 AnaMantle HC."
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"It's usually indicated for acutely inflamed hemorrhoids..."
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"...but it also goes nicely with non-mucosal body parts."
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"- Sounds great. - Excellent choice."
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"Come on, come on, come on."
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"Priya?"
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"Good morning, Sheldon."
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"For shame, Leonard. For shame."
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"And to think..."
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"Making pretty good time, huh?"
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"Is that really what you wanna talk about, Leonard?"
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"- No. - What do you wanna talk about?"
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"Don't tell anyone I spent the night with Raj's sister."
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"There it is."
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"What if someone asks?"
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"No one will ask if I spent the night with Raj's sister."
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"Perhaps."
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"Like what?"
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"Priya and I are both adults. I didn't betray Raj."
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"In fact, you did. But I was referring to Howard."
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"...and she was enjoying the sweet taste of Hindu rebellion..."
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"...in the form of a Bob's Super Big Boy hamburger."
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"In order to preserve your friendship..."
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"...you and Howard made a pinkie swear..."
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"I had a patty melt."
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"Okay, fine, I betrayed Howard."
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"- And Raj. - All right. And Raj."
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"And me."
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"Violation of the Roommate Agreement's overnight guest notification clause."
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"Okay, fine. I'm a horrible human being. I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena."
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"You're far too short to be Darth Vader."
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"At best you might be a turncoat Ewok."
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"My point is Priya's gone..."
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"...and it would be much better if no one else found out about us."
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"- You want me to keep a secret? - Yes."
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