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Clips from Friends - The One with Joey's Bag (S05E05)

"But it is odd how a woman's purse looks so good on me, a man."
Friends
"Exactly. Unisex!"
Friends
"Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago."
Friends
"I ain't going to say no to that!"
Friends
"- Who is it? - It's Phoebe."
Friends
"Oh, great!"
Friends
"Um, what's up?"
Friends
"Um, well, I sort of have some bad news. Can I come in?"
Friends
"Um, no, thanks."
Friends
"Um..."
Friends
"- Well, um, Grandma died today. - Wow!"
Friends
"Didn't she die like five years ago?"
Friends
"No, she just died today."
Friends
"Um, we're having a memorial service tomorrow."
Friends
"Okay, I know I went to that already."
Friends
"Then who's been dead?"
Friends
"Lots of people!"
Friends
"Look, are you coming or not?"
Friends
"Um, no."
Friends
"I thought she was dead, so I've made my peace."
Friends
"Plus I'm going to a concert."
Friends
"- Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. - Thanks. Enjoy your funeral!"
Friends
"You look just like your son, Mrs. Tribbiani."
Friends
"I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too."
Friends
"It's got compartments for all your stuff."
Friends
"What are you doing? The audition's tomorrow."
Friends
"Yeah, but sandwich time is right now."
Friends
"You get mustard on that bag, you can't return it."
Friends
"Why would I return this? I love this bag!"
Friends
"- All right, then you owe me $350. - Fine."
Friends
"Do you take Vasa or Mooster Card?"
Friends
"Joey..."
Friends
"What's the part? Auntie Mame?"
Friends
"You-and-I sexy?"
Friends
"Here's your, um, 3-D glasses."
Friends
"Reverend Pong will say when to put them on."
Friends
"- How are you holding up? - Fine."
Friends
"You know what? My grandma had the exact same bag!"
Friends
"I brought you flowers."
Friends
"Oh, thanks!"
Friends
"Pulling flowers out makes the bag look masculine."
Friends
"Welcome."
Friends
"Here's your 3-D glasses."
Friends
"So how did you know Frances?"
Friends
"Actually, I hadn't seen her for years."
Friends
"But, um, I was pretty tight with her and her daughter."
Friends
"Frank Buffay."
Friends
"You know what? Strike that. My name, uh, actually, is Joe."
Friends
"Um, uh, Joe, uh, Hill."
Friends
"I got to go. Thank you so much for coming."
Friends
"But..."
Friends
"Oh, my God!"
Friends
"What happened?"
Friends
"- Did you catch him? - What did he say?"
Friends
"He said, um, "Nice to meet you, Glenda.""
Friends
"I couldn't give him my real name."
Friends
"Why not?"
Friends
"You saw the way he ran."
Friends
"You think he'd talk to the daughter he abandoned?"
Friends
"What did you say to him?"
Friends
"I'm going to meet him at the coffeehouse."
Friends
"Could everyone take their seats?"
Friends
"I just can't think about that now."
Friends
"- I want to say goodbye to my grandma. - Okay."
Friends
"I'm off to my audition. How do I look?"
Friends
"Great! That bag will get you that part."
Friends
"And a date with a man."
Friends
"Just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong."
Friends
"Not at first. I don't want to freak him out."
Friends
"This guy abandoned you."
Friends
"If it were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger."
Friends
"I'd walk in there, I'd be like, "Yo, Dad!"
Friends
"You and me, outside. Right now!""
Friends
"I kind of scared myself."
Friends
"You'd think I'd be angry."
Friends
"You'd think I'd want to rip his tiny little head off!"
Friends
"Fortunately, I'm past it."
Friends
"You do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you."
Friends
"Oh, get off! Ow!"
Friends
"What are you talking about?"
Friends
"As a masseuse and a human..."
Friends
"...I'm begging you, never do that to anyone."
Friends
"I give good massages."
Friends
"I gave them to Rachel before she got allergic."
Friends
"And Chandler, he loves them! Watch."
Friends
"He does not like it. He's in pain!"
Friends
"- What? - I'm sorry but, ow!"
Friends
"You've been lying to me?"
Friends
"I can't believe that."
Friends
"Maybe he didn't want to hurt you."
Friends
"Anytime you're ready."
Friends
"Ahem, well, you must be new here."
Friends
"Maybe we get a table, I buy you a drink."
Friends
"Could you try it without the purse?"
Friends
"Yeah, sure."
Friends
"- Can I ask you something? - Sure. What?"
Friends
"Well, first, it's not a purse."
Friends
"Okay..."
Friends
"Anytime."
Friends
"If you think it's a woman's bag, it's not."
Friends
"It's a man's bag."
Friends
"Let me show you the catalog."
Friends
"Look. See?"
Friends
"Huh? It's the latest thing."
Friends
"Everyone's got one. Men, women, children."
Friends
"Thank you. That was great."
Friends
"All right, I'll see you."
Friends
"We got it. We got it."
Friends
"Listen, I just wanted to apologize about the whole massage thing."
Friends
"I really like them."
Friends
"We're supposed to be honest."
Friends
"I wish you could tell me, "I don't like your massages.""
Friends
"I don't like your massages."
Friends
"See? It's no big deal."
Friends
"But now you're crying."
Friends
"I'm not crying about that. I'm crying about something at work."
Friends
"My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages."
Friends
"You don't have to be best at everything."
Friends
"Oh, my God! You don't know me at all!"
Friends
"Okay..."
Friends
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