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Clips from 30 Rock - Cutbacks (S03E03)

"And even I am not immune. I had to let Jonathan go today."
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"Oh, my God. How did he take it?"
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"# I can't live if living is without you?"
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"is going to come under some very close scrutiny."
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"Well, if by "coke," you mean soda..."
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"I do. It's... really bad. It's so bad..."
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"What does that mean?"
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"It means they're bringing in hatchet men to trim the fat."
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"And on Monday, you will have to present"
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"Jack, I put on a live show every week, unless there's wrestling."
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"I'm on it."
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"Let's get this right."
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"I've got some tricks up my sleeve."
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"That's my girl."
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"It's sticking to the fibers."
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"You wanted to see me, sir?"
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"Kenneth, as you may have heard, Jonathan no longer works here."
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"at Finnegan's, the bar we all go to after work..."
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"Yes. Uh, well, obviously, I'm going to need an assistant"
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"You'll do fine so long as you follow my three "D's...""
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"Mr. Donaghy's office."
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"This is Kenneth. How may I help you?"
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"It's Greg Windham from Aviation."
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"But you are here, I can see you."
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"Oh... corporate intrigue."
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"He's not in right now. I'll tell him you called."
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"I feel like I'm in The Pelican Brief."
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"Do I already know too much?"
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"Liz?"
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"where we can sit down and get started?"
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"I'd like to tell you about three television programs..."
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"a comedy show, a musical variety show"
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"Comedy... music... Iive."
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"Are you getting it?"
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"and I could bore you with numbers."
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"among men nine to 13"
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"and the morbidly obese."
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"to create exclusive content for America's jails."
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"So, I thought I'd let the show speak for herself."
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"our undersecretary of housing and crystal meth. Boy-ee!"
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"# I came out of the womb with a full head of hair?"
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"I'm sorry, Mr. Jordan."
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"With my page duties and being Mr. Donaghy's assistant"
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"But just let me know if there's any way I can help."
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"All right. What is it?"
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"I don't know when I'm going to be able to get home."
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"Would you mind going to my apartment and feeding him?"
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"Yeah, okay."
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"So, what I'll be doing is actually pretty cool and brave."
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"Do not go into my bedroom."
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"Well, there is some fat. What about Sid?"
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"I can't fire our announcer. He'll lose his insurance."
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"Yeah, because he was hit by lightning"
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"and can't really talk anymore."
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"I'm not firing any of my people."
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"they have an open relationship."
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"All right, we'll find the money somewhere else."
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"All right, what about straws? We spend $1200 a year on straws."
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"Okay, fine. No more straws."
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"Everyone drinks from the can from now on."
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"Ooh, no, we need straws."
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"Oh, God! That's its bathroom!"
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"by the end of today."
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"I don't know, Brad. T.G.S. is a complicated machine."
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"Every part's important."
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"But if you don't make the cuts, I will."
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"And I don't give a crap about anyone here."
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"but the company's facing cutbacks."
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"And you have to admit"
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"Mr. Donaghy..."
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"I know you said only interrupt you if it was very important."
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"But Tashonda from Time Warner Cable is on the phone"
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"and she's offering three free months of Showtime."
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"I do not want Showtime."
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"Okay. I'm sorry."
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"I just didn't want you to miss out"
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"on this exciting opportunity."
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"Thank you, Kenneth."
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"Don't go in the bedroom!"
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"Don't go in the bedroom!"
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"I wasn't going to! I wasn't going to!"
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"or Kenneth, the Mr. Donaghy's assistant?"
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"Well, I need to see Jack."
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"Hello, Miss Lemon."
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"and I've been told not to interrupt him."
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"What is this pertaining to?"
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"Oh, my. That sounds very important."
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"Kenneth!"
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"Please have a seat. Mr. Donaghy will be right with you."
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"Yeah, I don't know."
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"Do you know Jack Donaghy well?"
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"So I'm going to have to go in there and boink my way"
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"I have to. I have 15 employees. I'm responsible for them."
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"Do you have any idea what that's like?"
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"Wow. Maybe we could team up."
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"Iez out, give him a show..."
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"Miss Lemon, Mr. Donaghy will see you now."
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"Make it quick, Lemon."
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"I'm in the middle of a very unpleasant day."
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"I know this cutback stuff is difficult."
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"I don't want to fire anyone."
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"And I don't want to take anything away from my crew."
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"And I want to keep making free long-distance prank calls"
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"to people like Seattle's Richard Sacmuncher."
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"And I think that's reasonable."
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"So what do I do to get out of this?"
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"The only thing to do is make your cuts"
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"and live to fight another day."
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"What? That's it?"
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"I thought you'd tell me to cook the numbers"
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"or shred something"
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"or do some Pelican Brief stuff."
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"Why is everyone talking about that movie?"
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"It's been playing on Showtime."
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"What? Why now?"
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"I'm sorry."
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"She's planning to change your mind"
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"But the sad thing is, it sometimes works."
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"I'm sure you'll figure it out."
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"Oh, and one more thing."
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