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Clips from Veep - Andrew (S02E02)

"an historic software agreement with Finland."
Veep
"Wasn't her trip to Europe overshadowed by the song?"
Veep
"She wasn't mocking Europeans."
Veep
"But more importantly, right now the vice president"
Veep
"is meeting with the House Majority Leader Mary King."
Veep
"And they are brokering a debt reduction deal"
Veep
"Selina Meyer's becoming one of the most"
Veep
"effective American vice presidents in history."
Veep
"She was crucial in the freeing of the Uzbekistan hostages."
Veep
"- Correct? - Yes."
Veep
"The software--"
Veep
"endangering the other three students?"
Veep
"Um..."
Veep
"possibly not quite at the time."
Veep
"So all this stuff she's been saying about"
Veep
"being a crucial part of the military rescue is a lie."
Veep
"Okay, slow down, Leon. Is your blood sugar off?"
Veep
"- Answer the question. - I don't know what she knew"
Veep
"or she didn't know that he was a spy,"
Veep
"but lied about knowing the details of the military rescue."
Veep
"This isn't going to be a cakewalk, Selina."
Veep
"- Oh. - This one's the hard bargaining."
Veep
"Don't you worry. I know how to haggle."
Veep
"You betcha."
Veep
"- How are your boys? - They're great."
Veep
"- How's Catherine? - She's 21."
Veep
"- So I'm excited about that. - Tonight?"
Veep
"Yeah. You know, all you ever want for these kids"
Veep
"And stay out of Middle East politics."
Veep
"I'm amazed you can laugh about that."
Veep
"Yes, that's what I do. I'm laughing about it."
Veep
"I wonder how it's going in there."
Veep
"Mary's a player."
Veep
"She did own Brian Earl in negotiations by pretending to faint."
Veep
"So after Catherine's birthday party tonight, you want to grab a bite?"
Veep
"Talk about Helsinki, strategize a little bit?"
Veep
"- I have a date for tonight. - Yeah."
Veep
"Yeah?"
Veep
"- Who is it? - Ed."
Veep
"Ed Webster is a fund-raiser for the party"
Veep
"and he's worked for Selina for the past five years."
Veep
"You swore you were only gonna date outside DC."
Veep
"He's not in DC. He works in Boston."
Veep
"- Are you getting worked up, Danny? - Shut the fuck up, Gary."
Veep
"I'm so happy you're happy for me, Dan."
Veep
"Oh, what do you want, a fucking cake?"
Veep
"There you go."
Veep
"to unemployment insurance and you know that."
Veep
"Do I need to explain to you how haggling works?"
Veep
"Then the only obvious solution is unemployment insurance."
Veep
"No, I told you. I can't do that."
Veep
"You stalling for time?"
Veep
"Let me get you a Kleenex, yeah?"
Veep
"I think it's over. Sneezes always come in threes."
Veep
"- Have you ever noticed that? - Really? Is that so?"
Veep
"Oh, well, that was a fourth."
Veep
"So maybe I need to tell you about how counting works, right?"
Veep
"- ...on Indian Health Services. - Hmm? You gonna faint?"
Veep
"I'm not-- oh, very funny."
Veep
"I'll get you some water."
Veep
"No, she's pretending to cough herself inside out."
Veep
"Could you get her some water, please?"
Veep
"I don't know what--"
Veep
"Ooh! Oh, my God! Mary, are you all right?"
Veep
"I think I'm having an allergic reaction."
Veep
"- What are you allergic to? - Is there cat hair?"
Veep
"Yeah, there you go. Is it this mohair?"
Veep
"- It might be the mohair. - Do you think?"
Veep
"- No, she's been here-- - The nuts? Is it the nuts?"
Veep
"- Did you eat nuts? No? - Mm-mmm."
Veep
"- Is it the flowers? - What?"
Veep
"The ones I got for Catherine's birthday."
Veep
"- That's it. - Shit, okay. All right, sorry."
Veep
"- Oh, God. - Gary, deflower the room."
Veep
"There's a sentence I bet you thought you'd never hear."
Veep
"Selina, we've got to take this up tonight."
Veep
"Would you miss your son's Civil Union ceremony?"
Veep
"- I did. - Oh."
Veep
"Come. You can bring a plus one."
Veep
"Mike, Leon West called my line twice."
Veep
"No, Leon's a little skeptical about the whole spy thing"
Veep
"How lucky am I that I'm not Selina Mapist"
Veep
"or Selina Medophile?"
Veep
"Yeah, she had an allergy attack."
Veep
"So did you do the deal? Tell me you did the deal."
Veep
"Jesus. You know, if we don't get this done by midnight,"
Veep
"we're all gonna turn into ugly sisters and get eaten by wolves"
Veep
"or whatever the fuck happens at the end of that story."
Veep
"Gary, I have been sent here from the president."
Veep
"Okay, so the president's already going through a lot of pressure"
Veep
"about this hostage lying bullshit."
Veep
"- He's under pressure? - Yes."
Veep
"- I'm under pressure. - Well, you do have a choice."
Veep
"You could say you were out of the loop for the hostage rescue,"
Veep
"which would make you look clueless, or you could say you were in the loop,"
Veep
"which would make you look devious."
Veep
"Either way, just blur the fuck out of it."
Veep
"- Oh, fuck. - Ma'am."
Veep
"Anything that I should--"
Veep
"Amy, Ed Webster is here to see you."
Veep
"I think he's nervous. His voice sounded clammy."
Veep
"Oh, okay. That's good. That's good."
Veep
"Look at you all flustered."
Veep
"It's good that you'll have sex soon."
Veep
"Okay, guys, we need to prep two press releases"
Veep
"ends fiscal deadlock, saves America."
Veep
"Version two-- Mary King steals peace pipe,"
Veep
"Ma'am, your ex-husband just called."
Veep
"No, I have a car picking her up already. I arranged that."
Veep
"He is such a conniving, grabby prick."
Veep
"- Is it typical or what? - Unbelievable."
Veep
"- Just wrong. - I hate him so much."
Veep
"Sorry, can I ask why?"
Veep
"This'll explain it perfectly."
Veep
"Valentine's Day a couple years ago,"
Veep
"- he gave me a black Porsche... - Oh."
Veep
"that he bought with Catherine's trust fund money."
Veep
"- Oh. - I mean, he just fluffs ya, and then he fucks ya."
Veep
"Oh, yeah, that's a perfect example."
Veep
"Here you go. So, he took me"
Veep
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