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Clips from The Office - New Guys (S09E09)

"It's sports marketing, basically,"
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"for the family."
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"He said if it takes off, he's gonna buy us a new car."
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"An Altima or better."
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"Kelly Kapoor is gone."
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"Her fiance, Ravi, was hired as a Pediatrics Professor"
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"I am going to Miami, bee-yotches,"
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"Miami University, in Ohio."
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"Shortly after Kelly left, Ryan quit"
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"and also moved to Ohio,"
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"for what he claimed were unrelated reasons."
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"the next Silicon Valley."
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"It's a big university town, and, uh..."
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"It's not garbage, it's my clothes."
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"- We good? - Yeah. Thanks."
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"Don't you guys have everything?"
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"I mean, it's just a paper company."
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"Yeah, well, we're more following you guys"
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"to see how you turn out."
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"Well, I don't think anything's gonna change in our lives now."
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"for a long, long time."
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"Andy's coming back today."
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"Hey, uh, does anybody know"
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"where we throw these out?"
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"Oh, my God."
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"- It's called a garbage can. - Helpless."
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"There's two new guys back there with me now."
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"They're in their 20s, and we really get along."
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"Looking good."
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"Just three single guys... getting into trouble."
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"Oh, yes, yes. I see that. Perfect."
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"No, thank you. My name's Pete."
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"then every human being in the world is the new Jim."
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"Andy's here! Old Dwight, new Dwight, Andy's here."
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"New Jim, Tuna, Andy's here. Pam, he's here."
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"Wow, I thought about this place a lot when I was on solo."
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"Three days on a mountain, it'll change you."
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"The things we think we need."
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"Clocks. Yeah, right."
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"It sounds amazing. Tell us all about it."
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"What are you still doing here?"
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"Wonderful, thanks."
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"You know, I had this really funny dream"
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"See me in my office later."
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"The new guys. All right."
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"- Clark and, um... - Pete."
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"They called me Iceman."
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"What-- Why?"
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"'Cause you're always taking dumps."
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"Relax, Plop. You will be called "Fart""
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"- because you fart all the time. - I love it."
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""Dwight Jr.""
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"No, I prefer "Fart.""
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"No, Dwight Jr. Infinitely better."
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"You guys look exactly alike."
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"Dwight, go stand next to him."
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"- This is insane. - I don't see it."
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"I don't either. I don't either."
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"Whoa."
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"Mind blown. It's like father and son."
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"Yes. Yes, I am."
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"That's okay."
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"In a way, it's like I have a son."
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"And who knows? Maybe some day"
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"And then I'll have a grandson."
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"Well, I need to give my cat up for adoption."
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"or the one with the Mexican hat,"
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"or the one with the rain galoshes,"
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"or the one that you let go around naked?"
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"So cute that you just want to eat 'em."
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"But you can't eat cats."
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"You can't eat cats, Kevin."
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"- No, the one with the long hair and the denim pants-- Comstock."
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"- Oh. - Okay, look."
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"I just want to find him a good home."
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"I'll take him."
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"I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle!"
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"No, I'm a dog person."
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"If you pray enough,"
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"Those guys always turn back, Angela."
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"David, outward bound was incredible."
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"I was the best at slacklining."
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"Hey, you wanted to see me?"
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"Yeah. I gotta go, David."
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"Why is Nellie still here?"
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"You can only fire Nellie for cause."
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"Hmm. Then I will make up a cause."
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"Except you just told me you were gonna make it up."
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"Now, if she sues, I have to testify against you."
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"I can't. I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy."
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"Sat next to this woman named Beverly Brook."
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"See what I mean?"
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"Now I know why Michael hated you so much."
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"No, he didn't."
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"Snack foods!"
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"Yep."
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"Body by cheez-it."
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"Ah, humor. I have it too."
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"Oh, boy, I got a couple of tickets"
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"Mmm, okay, well,"
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"Just... how this is gonna be. You know."
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"Okay."
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"But you know, you should know that I'm into the ladies."
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"that you haven't had time to pursue yet?"
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"- Okay. - I'll give it a read."
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"Yeah, with my leads, and stuff like that."
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"Yeah."
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"'Cause you're interested in going into sales."
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"- I am. - Wow, that's great."
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"- Yeah. - That's great."
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"Okay, good. Let's talk about that, okay?"
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"- Okay. - You're not getting my clients."
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"Nice try."
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"And I really don't have time to learn new words"
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"right now, okay?"
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"Jim, get ready for the battle of your life."
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"The new guys-- Dwight Jr. is after my job."
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"Oh, now I get what Pete was talking about"
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"at the sales meeting yesterday."
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"Wait, sales-- What sales meeting?"
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