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Clips from Scrubs - My Tuscaloosa Heart (S01E01)

"- You wanna trade? - I guess. OK."
Scrubs
"Hey, Number One. I got one more patient."
Scrubs
"About time, idiot."
Scrubs
"Mr Simon, good morning. How are you feeling?"
Scrubs
"You can kiss my man-sized ass."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Number One. - Hey, Number Two."
Scrubs
"Dr Reid! One of the nurses found your stethoscope in the bathroom."
Scrubs
"Like, oh, my God!"
Scrubs
"He's just another patient."
Scrubs
"- Simon says, ''Hello!'' - What the hell do you want?"
Scrubs
"Just gonna have Carla give you a stronger pain medication."
Scrubs
"Me no likey mean guys."
Scrubs
"Kristen, slow down."
Scrubs
"You've no idea how many times you'll say that tonight."
Scrubs
"But it's important. It's very important."
Scrubs
"and I am, by the way."
Scrubs
"You could pretty much bounce a quarter off my butt if you,"
Scrubs
"I don't have any change."
Scrubs
"I beg your pardon?"
Scrubs
"What the hell is this crap?"
Scrubs
"I think it's a fascinating study of human behaviour."
Scrubs
"''My Tuscaloosa heart''?"
Scrubs
"- Stop doing that! - You stop doing that!"
Scrubs
"You don't have to hide from him."
Scrubs
"- Is it working? - Do you have to ask?"
Scrubs
"- He went so fast. - Say, ''Hey, Number One''."
Scrubs
"It's Kristen. I missed you tonight."
Scrubs
"You are a stupid man."
Scrubs
"but your timing could not be worse."
Scrubs
"A lesser person would mock your inability to move on."
Scrubs
"soft about you."
Scrubs
"I'm seeing someone right now, who, by the way, is great,"
Scrubs
"I can't get her out of my head."
Scrubs
"I keep thinking of this other woman, the unavailable one,"
Scrubs
"If I have to stay here and listen to this crap,"
Scrubs
"I'll need a stronger drink."
Scrubs
"- I think it was him. - It wasn't."
Scrubs
"- But what if it was? - Good Lord."
Scrubs
"I'll be sensitive at breakfast, baby. Turk out."
Scrubs
"- What's up, Bambi? - I can't stop thinking about Mr Simon."
Scrubs
"I neglected him cos he was a jerk and I'm just"
Scrubs
"Could've been the terminal cancer."
Scrubs
"They want you to present Mr Simon at an M and M conference."
Scrubs
"Morbidity and Mortality conferences are fun meetings"
Scrubs
"There's no reason to start obsessing. You did nothing wrong."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Number Two! - Number One."
Scrubs
"We have the same name, but I can't spend my day playing this game."
Scrubs
"- Hey, you. - You got a minute?"
Scrubs
"You're sexy, you're smart, God knows you're dangerous."
Scrubs
"- You think I'm a spy? - No."
Scrubs
"Bring it. Ka-bow-bow."
Scrubs
"Don't you get it? This tape shows exactly why Kelso is Kelso."
Scrubs
"Before we begin, do you have any last words?"
Scrubs
"Thank you for stopping by."
Scrubs
"I told you when he saw us together he'd fold his arms and do the teeth thing."
Scrubs
"Kristen,"
Scrubs
"this is my emotional baggage."
Scrubs
"Be nice."
Scrubs
"I wanted to thank you for helping with that dresser last night."
Scrubs
"- Sure, no problem. - He's a great guy."
Scrubs
"And bailing on you is far and away the best thing that could have happened,"
Scrubs
"I did too."
Scrubs
"Elliot, don't."
Scrubs
"I heard your songs and they're extraordinary!"
Scrubs
"We won't bother you any more."
Scrubs
"Sir, whatever happened to Bunny? We gotta know."
Scrubs
"I always turn to the person I trust the most."
Scrubs
"- I didn't overmedicate him. - You didn't."
Scrubs
"I always check your orders."
Scrubs
"- Mine too. - It was a joke, ya girl."
Scrubs
"Then stop turnin' around."
Scrubs
"- Are you really that lonely? - Kinda, yeah."
Scrubs
"you can redeem yourself."
Scrubs
"Hey, Number Two!"
Scrubs
"I guess there's good and bad in all of us."
Scrubs
"Hey, Bunny. No, I forgot."
Scrubs
"Well, I'm s..."
Scrubs
"And once you've accepted all sides of yourself,"
Scrubs
"it's a lot easier to sleep at night."
Scrubs
"Cheers."
Scrubs
"Can I trade clipboards with you?"
Scrubs
"OK, fine. But mine's better."
Scrubs
"- Elliot, have you seen my clipboard? - No."
Scrubs
"- How's it going, man? - Make him leave."
Scrubs
"I'll tell you what. You're older than I am, so you were JD first."
Scrubs
"So, how about you'll be JD Number One,"
Scrubs
"How about that?"
Scrubs
"Hey, Number Two."
Scrubs
"You wanna have lunch and bring my clipboard?"
Scrubs
"- Hey, Number Two. - Number One!"
Scrubs
"All right. Cool."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Number Two. - Number One!"
Scrubs
"I was just asking Nurse Fajita"
Scrubs
"if you get extra points for stupid questions."
Scrubs
"- I was trying to assess... - Bambi, don't bother."
Scrubs
"Sir, if there's anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable..."
Scrubs
"Will you hold me after?"
Scrubs
"Bambi, Mr Simon made one of the night nurses cry?"
Scrubs
"- Which one? - Frank."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Number Two! - Hey, Number One."
Scrubs
"You're dating a student, and holding hands."
Scrubs
"Normally I wouldn't do this, but there are mitigating factors."
Scrubs
"I have kind of a special evening planned for us."
Scrubs
"and a safety word we've agreed upon in advance."
Scrubs
"You are gonna make a great mom!"
Scrubs
"I told you what to do if the stitches start to itch."
Scrubs
"Thank you so much, sir."
Scrubs
"Let's try to be a little more responsible, shall we?"
Scrubs
"- I went to college with that guy. - Lucky you."
Scrubs
"Used to play his guitar every Saturday night"
Scrubs
"at this coffeehouse off campus."
Scrubs
"- Remember the guy's name? - Robby something, I think."
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso's name is Bob, short for Robert and Robby is a nickname for Robert!"
Scrubs
"Give him 30 milligrams of MS Contin. Why do I have to come with you?"
Scrubs
"Because you're kinda like a doctor."
Scrubs
"You're all mine."
Scrubs
"Have you seen my stethoscope?"
Scrubs
"No. Maybe you left it in one of the girls' bathrooms."
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"Is that my stethoscope?"
Scrubs
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