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Clips from Scrubs - My Own Worst Enemy (S07E07)

"So there we were."
Scrubs
"me about to have a baby with Kim,"
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"We were both terrified because either one of us"
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"Elliot?"
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"How the hell did she do that?"
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"Of course not. Please. Us."
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"screw up our relationships."
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"Who wants to end up like Snoop Dogg Intern?"
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"- Hey. - Sorry. Snoop Dogg Resident."
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"- Hey. - Snoop Dogg Attending?"
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"- What do we do now? - Nothing."
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"Keith?"
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"And then I had one of those weird, crystallising moments"
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"I mean, I should've been relieved that Keith hadn't shown up earlier"
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"and walked in on J.D. And me, but I wasn't."
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"I wish he had caught us, because the truth is..."
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"Honestly, I think I let it get this far"
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"Baby..."
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"- Oh... - Actually, since I'm diabetic,"
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"First, we cut out all candy that sounds remotely racist,"
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"and I know this sounds weird, but Ju Ju Bes."
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"- Oh... - Then Carla was like,"
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""Baby, if I want my candy to freshen my breath,"
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""I'll just slap some toothpaste on a Whatchamacallit bar"
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""and go to town on that bad boy!""
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"No."
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"Okay."
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"Oh, he just wanted to know if there was anything I needed."
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"Elliot."
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"What, are you bored up there?"
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"beneath a big brown butt."
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"I can't sleep."
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"Keith!"
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"Actually, I'm not sure we decided whether or not"
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"Keith, we need to talk."
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"Keith, I've been thinking."
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"That's it. It's over."
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"- Oh. - Oh."
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"and the dust was finally starting to settle."
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"Daddy's home!"
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"It's only been a few days and he's already dropped an adjective."
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"Go have fun with your friend. I'm gonna stay in and eat."
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"See, Turk? Now we can save that dad dying thing"
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"Oh, it's too late for that. She died."
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"I would say it's because your face is, like, five-sixths beard."
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"Ha! Pig-Whore Read!"
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"See, your last name's Reid, so it works two ways."
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"Worth a shot."
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"Come on, man. You know why you almost screwed things up with Kim."
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"- Don't make me say it. - All right, fine."
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"No, why? Does she think that, too?"
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"and the only reason why you guys are still together"
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"is because there's a kid involved."
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"I don't know, man. I don't think that's true."
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"Stop it. Fugs was awesome."
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"could I possibly have figured out such a tough diagnosis so darn quickly?"
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"Oh, there she is. She's cute."
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"Please, call me Joe."
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"What's wrong with liking a patient?"
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"do a minor surgery, recommend a good mortician to the family"
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"And if I like them, well,"
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"You came to your house while I'm packing up my stuff,"
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"even though you promised not to be here. Awesome."
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"Well, you know you can't take my word."
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"Do not make me start laughing,"
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"You're an annoying, whiny man-child."
Scrubs
"I'm a self-saboteur."
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"And not just in relationships, in everything."
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"I gotta go figure this out. I can't believe it."
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"- Who are the flowers for? - My girlfriend."
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"means no woman could possibly be attracted to me?"
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"No."
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"- Lady? - You don't believe me?"
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"Well, let's just say you've lied to me before."
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"Hey, Lady!"
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"Oh, my God, Gandh-idiot. Would we all be better served"
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"Then would you tell me whether or not he needs surgery?"
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"I'm sorry I couldn't help, Mr Hutnik."
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"Gumball, I honestly don't know"
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"Some phrases sting, no matter how they're said."
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"Hey, Joe."
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"you don't have a lot of options."
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"Where are you taking me?"
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"- Nice and cancerous. - Well done."
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"- You did what? - I know. I am a pig-whore."
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"and I like sports now."
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"Anybody have any objections? Marjorie?"
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"designed to honour those people who believe that others"
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"actually give a rat's ass about the minutiae of their lives."
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"The weird thing was, I think we all really wanted to win."
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"The Todd for "Look At My New Shirt!""
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"and you deliver the news to Hutnik yourself?"
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"I've done it. An entire day without sabotaging myself."
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"Yello? Oh, yes, he's here."
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"- Her name's Lady? - Yeah."
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"- Who's named Lady? - She is."
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"You know what I don't have an answer for?"
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"Maybe he'll die young."
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"And, Elliot, I'm sorry, but you are not the first person"
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"Is there a point to this?"
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"We're getting nowhere."
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"If you want to lose the nickname, you gotta shave the beard."
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"That's it."
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"There you are. Oh, do you want to go straight out"
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"Oh, my God. I can't believe I have to do this again."
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"I feel so bad for them."
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"but now wasn't the time for that."
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"Hey, Kim."
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"Get your butt home already. We haven't seen each other in days."
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"Don't you miss me?"
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"And then I had this weird, crystallising moment."
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"that the simplest, most obvious answer is usually the correct one."
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"It could mean that your first instinct was right and it was Lyme disease..."
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"Let's put him on 100 milligrams of Ceftin."
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"Joe, you're gonna be fine."
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"Or that your best friend was right"
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"I had knocked up a girl on our first date."
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"which means I'm gonna stay with her until the very end,"
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"whether I love her or not."
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"could back out at the last second,"
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