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Clips from Scrubs - My Student (S01E01)

"Yeah. Me."
Scrubs
"No. I use ''ma'am'' all the time. Watch."
Scrubs
"What up, ma'am?"
Scrubs
"- See? It's my thing. - Yeah, right."
Scrubs
"Come on. I'm here to learn."
Scrubs
"Listen up, kid. Lesson number one:"
Scrubs
"- Not a problem. - Hey, baby."
Scrubs
"This overbearing machismo is usually just compensation for a lap-pinkie."
Scrubs
"What just happened?"
Scrubs
"Don't worry about it. It's all good in the 'hood."
Scrubs
"I'll tell you what I expect. You parted your hair on the other side?"
Scrubs
"I can't walk and write at the same time."
Scrubs
"I'm not so much with the ''shavin' a guy's curlies''."
Scrubs
"If you get just one bad evaluation from me,"
Scrubs
"I'll lather you up, and you think about baseball."
Scrubs
"Looks like you won the med student raffle there, pal."
Scrubs
"You give me her name and tell her my name,"
Scrubs
"or you go her name, my name, my name, her name."
Scrubs
"Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak,"
Scrubs
"or do you find you drift in and out?"
Scrubs
"Fine. Then I'm gonna go ahead"
Scrubs
"and continue to focus all my energies on Carla."
Scrubs
"...waiting."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox, Kristen. Kristen, Dr Cox."
Scrubs
"It should've taken five minutes."
Scrubs
"We were just talking. This guy, he is the bomb!"
Scrubs
"Relax, Bambi. Be nice to Thumper."
Scrubs
"He wrote ''The guy sweats when he exercises.''"
Scrubs
"Relax. It's just one mistake."
Scrubs
"Relax, Bambi."
Scrubs
"Yeah, it was."
Scrubs
"Put 'em all together, it makes four million."
Scrubs
"Did you just snap at me? Because I think he just snapped at me."
Scrubs
"- I'm sorry. - Yeah, you are."
Scrubs
"fill out a vascular consult on bed three and get a tox screen for Mrs O'Brien."
Scrubs
"Mrs O'Brien, I'm afraid I'm gonna need a urine sample."
Scrubs
"You're darn tootin'."
Scrubs
"Whitaker Chambers is the CEO"
Scrubs
"- Why would he want to meet me? - Hey, Dad."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. Dr Cox,"
Scrubs
"No. I can't do it."
Scrubs
"No!"
Scrubs
"- Is he OK? - Not really."
Scrubs
"Dr Dorian?"
Scrubs
"Cool dead dog. Can I pet him?"
Scrubs
"I came by because I know I didn't do so great yesterday..."
Scrubs
"Was it your inability to perform even the simplest task?"
Scrubs
"Because I gotta be honest with you."
Scrubs
"I'm so sorry. I'll apologise at rounds."
Scrubs
"Nurse Roberts, have you seen Josh?"
Scrubs
"I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't."
Scrubs
"I went looking for confirmation that it wasn't my fault."
Scrubs
"I don't think it's my fault he quit."
Scrubs
"Most of the bad things that happen here are your fault."
Scrubs
"- I was talking to her. - I won't say what you wanna hear."
Scrubs
"Laverne, what'd you say about JD when he first started working here?"
Scrubs
"He was the most incompetent doctor I ever worked with."
Scrubs
"- It's not my fault he failed. - You failed."
Scrubs
"You're supposed to be his teacher."
Scrubs
"Thank you. You've touched me deeply."
Scrubs
"- If that doesn't work, do what I do. - Which is what?"
Scrubs
"Think of the children."
Scrubs
"Doctor!"
Scrubs
"Philip, I was wondering if you could write out this discharge summary."
Scrubs
"Where's the fun?"
Scrubs
"- Excuse me? - From now on,"
Scrubs
"Kidding... Josh."
Scrubs
"Here we go."
Scrubs
"You're doing it."
Scrubs
"I'm always throwing up, I don't even have an ass!"
Scrubs
"Except for the ass part. I actually have a great ass."
Scrubs
"It's firm like mutton."
Scrubs
"But thanks for trying."
Scrubs
"Yep."
Scrubs
"No, but I wonder if someone slipped something into my soda."
Scrubs
"I gotta go. We'll pick this up later."
Scrubs
"Pick what up?"
Scrubs
"What up, dawg?"
Scrubs
"- Dr Reid, can I see you a minute? - Dr Kelso, I am so, so sorry."
Scrubs
"Well, the pill plays havoc with my cycle. I'm like..."
Scrubs
"You talk too much. It's a problem."
Scrubs
"Why are you doing your med student's work?"
Scrubs
"- Well, his father... - I hate his father."
Scrubs
"For God's sake, woman, show some cojones!"
Scrubs
"It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody."
Scrubs
"The only way you could be less productive"
Scrubs
"with a wall on which to lean and reflect on what a jackass he is."
Scrubs
"you could pretend to be doing some work."
Scrubs
"And, even though you don't have your basket,"
Scrubs
"Skip away. Go ahead."
Scrubs
"- Hello, Philip. - Lemon head."
Scrubs
"but, on the other hand, as you know, you're an incredible tool."
Scrubs
"But, if you've got a problem with that, go see my father."
Scrubs
"I think I'll do that."
Scrubs
"Wait, Dr Reid."
Scrubs
"I had some time to think about it and, what the hell? Let's start fresh."
Scrubs
"Philly..."
Scrubs
"I don't wanna."
Scrubs
"- It's OK. - Where were we?"
Scrubs
"I told you my parents were still married, you yelled at me."
Scrubs
"I guess I don't have anything of interest to say."
Scrubs
"I got something to say."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox, you are an attending, so you should know"
Scrubs
"it's inappropriate for you to be sniffing around this woman all day!"
Scrubs
"Sorry, doctor."
Scrubs
"Hi."
Scrubs
"I don't know why I still have this thing on."
Scrubs
"''Newbie''?"
Scrubs
"You're the only one who knows if you wanna be a doctor."
Scrubs
"Now, locate the radial pulse."
Scrubs
"It looks good."
Scrubs
"No way."
Scrubs
"What do you want, a cookie? Put your scrubs on and get back here."
Scrubs
"Go, go, go!"
Scrubs
"That's it."
Scrubs
"Puh-lease, keep drinking."
Scrubs
"I'm throwing myself at you, and you're still trying to get me drunk."
Scrubs
"- Cheers. - Cheers."
Scrubs
"This is fun."
Scrubs
"- Really? - You wanna know something?"
Scrubs
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