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Clips from Scrubs - My Student (S01E01)

"You've arrived. You know? You just start to feel..."
Scrubs
"- ...cooler. - My God!"
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"- Turk, that was amazing! - Woman, shush."
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"My God! Which one of you two did that?"
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"- My bad. - That was me."
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"Look at you three, all excited."
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"Today we get our very own med students."
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"Gimme some hungry chicken."
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"Look how scared they are."
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"Girl"
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"I gotta go meet up with my med student up in Surgery."
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"Know who you're getting?"
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"that I've been waiting for the day I get to make someone suffer."
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"I do that all the time."
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"to see what you look like to other people?"
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"It totally messes everyone up."
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"Have you seen a med student here?"
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"That's cold!"
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"You're gonna do H & Ps, write admission orders..."
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"- It makes me nauseous. - A famous doctor once said,"
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"it'll torch your class rank, so do what I tell you."
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"thank your lucky stars that I said ''shave''."
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"I'll tell you what."
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"- Introduce me. - Excuse me?"
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"No. You like Carla."
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"Josh, I asked you to get this guy's history an hour ago."
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"OK. Bye-bye. Moving on."
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"- I do. - I'll call Ripley's!"
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"It's just one mistake."
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"You have to co-sign all these orders,"
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"- But Josh did all this. - Honey, I don't think so."
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"Jackass. Dr Reid, say hello to Whitaker Chambers."
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"so I suggest you stop acting like LL Cool Reid"
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"and start acting like Dr Reid."
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"You dig?"
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"Hey, son!"
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"Poopies."
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"- It was really nice to meet you. - Same here, doctor."
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"I was gonna take Kristen out for a beer after work."
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"What is it that tipped you off?"
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"I'll bet it was that I got home 20 minutes ago"
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"because I spent the entire night cleaning up after you."
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"I'm sorry. I was just really scared."
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"You know what, Josh? You should be scared."
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"Do you?"
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"I didn't think so."
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"I'm still not gonna feel bad about what I said to Josh."
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"The tall skinny one? He quit."
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"You will have to answer to Jesus."
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"After what happened, I did what any good person would do."
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"He was screwing up constantly."
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"Nurse Roberts says he's the most incompetent doctor she's worked with."
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"See, to me that sounds like it's your fault. I don't know."
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"Where you going? Stay and play!"
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"- No problem. - Whoa, Curly."
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"I got no problem. Wanna have a drink?"
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"- No. - See? I'm fine."
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"You know how men are always talking about themselves?"
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"Women like to talk about themselves more."
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"get Kristen to talk about herself, it's on. It's on and poppin'."
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"- Show her the booty! - No. You put that away."
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"Now, I promise you, I am gonna help you."
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"- So, what do you say? - I know what you're trying to do."
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"My whole life, people have felt sorry for me."
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"- Why would anyone feel sorry for you? - I'm clumsy,"
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"- So, where you from? - Chicago. You?"
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"- Pittsburgh. Family? Brothers, sisters? - One older brother. You?"
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"Not a strong move with the tighty-whities."
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"If you won't help, go wait for your trust fund to mature."
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"Dr Reid?"
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"But I'm the one who has to suck up to him, not you."
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"The thing is to think of someone I look up to,"
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"and remember how they got through to me."
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"I know. Here it's a conundrum. But don't you worry about it."
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"I was hard on you from the start,"
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"- What do you say? - I don't wanna."
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"- Why are you washing your hands? - I don't honestly know."
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"And you! You are a med student who should be learning from me,"
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"but every time I turn around, you're talking to him."
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"Why did you page me?"
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"Go ahead."
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"Could I get some more wine?"
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"Well, baby, you gotta play all 48 minutes."
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"I love the part right before we start hating each other."
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"I feel like I'm using you to get past another person."
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"That's not as sexy as you think it is."
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"Perry?"
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"- This is way too easy. - Bring it on!"
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"Good. Now, beat it. I'm eating."
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"A lot of us freak out when med students come."
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"But hopefully, not too soon."
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"- Such dorks. - My God!"
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"During your first year, things begin to feel different."
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"It's a lot cooler if we don't make a big deal out of it."
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"Hang on, Ma. It's him."
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"Shall we? And..."
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"- Both of you? - Player!"
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"Mrs Winston, it's back to the home for you."
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"- Jerome! - What up, dawg?"
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"Nobody."
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"Thank goodness, it's the Mod Squad."
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"It's like we're cheetahs and they're a pack of gazelles."
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"I'm Dr Bob Kelso, and I'm your Chief of Medicine."
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"I want to encourage you all to think of me as your safety net."
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"Because I promise you, we're a family here."
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"Let's go get 'em, doctors."
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"They're buying it."
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"''The Devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he didn't exist.''"
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"- Sugar darlin' - Girl"
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"So, I want someone I can be friends with, you know?"
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"I hope I get a jerk. I took so much crap as a med student"
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"I'm looking for a Dr Elliot Reid."
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"I'm Elliot Reid."
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"Goody! You're a jerk."
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"Just remember to breathe, and you'll get through the day."
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"Do you ever part your hair on the wrong side"
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"No."
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"Do you have any questions?"
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"What's the babe situation like here?"
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"Easy, tiger."
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