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Clips from The Simpsons - Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (S09E09)

"[Sobbing] he got all our stuff."
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"Including the tree. [Sobbing]"
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"- We were robbed? - [Sobbing] Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh."
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"[Sobbing] Can... we... skip... church?"
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"Now, uh, what did this Christmas thief look like?"
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"Well, he had a glass eye, a wooden leg..."
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"- a big scar on his cheek. - Anything unusual?"
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"He was carrying a big sack with a dollar sign on it."
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"[Scoffs] Classic burglar."
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"Aw, cheer up. We'll catch this guy."
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"- Uh, chief- - What? You can't rule it out."
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"God hates us."
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"Hey, since when is Christmas just about the presents?"
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"Arert we forgetting the true meaning of this day? The birth of Santa."
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"This is the one day that shouldn't be about material things."
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"Hey, why don't we walk over to Grampa's and cheer up the old folks?"
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"- That will make us feel better. - Oh, okay."
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"But they'll have to be pretty damn miserable to make me happy."
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"Looks like the Flanders are having a nice Christmas."
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"Oh, yeah? We'll show 'em."
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"Come on, kids. Pretend we got new cross-country skis."
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"That's not as fun as it looks."
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"Nothing could be as fun as that looks."
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"Hey, look what I got, Bart! A Tickle Me Krusty!"
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"- [Goofy Laugh] Hey, kid, get your finger out of there. - [Laughing]"
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"##[Christmas Rop On Stereo]"
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"Lisa, you promised they'd be miserable. What the hell's going on?"
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"Oh, the pharmaceutical man come by and he shot us full of Christmas cheer."
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"[Laughing]"
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"I can't feel nothing below my chin."
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"##[Continues]"
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"Ah, sounds like you're having a rough Christmas, Homer."
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"You're right, Moe. You're always Moe."
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"Homer, look. Your house is on TV."
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"You take that back, Barney."
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"- No, he's right, Homer. - Stay out of this, old man."
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"Dateline, Kent Brockman. I'm here at the scene of the Christmas burglary..."
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"where a creature was stirring last night..."
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"and what he was stirring was up trouble."
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"Is your husband or lover here, ma'am?"
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"No, my husband is... at church."
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"Aw, that's my girl. I love you, Marjorie."
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"- Yeah, she's quite a gal. - You shut up."
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"So when you realized Christmas was ruined, how did you feel?"
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"How do you think I felt?"
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"Absolutely devastated."
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""Absolutely devastated.""
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"The words of a heartbroken mother."
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"For there will be no fire truck for little Bart..."
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"no sweater for little Lisa..."
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"no Cajun sausage for little Homer."
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"- [Wails] - So while you're home today..."
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"eating your sweet, sweet holiday turkey..."
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"Lousy doormat."
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"Homer, you won't believe what's happened. It's a miracle."
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"Aw, Marge, I don't wanna hear any more about that silver polish."
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"- Surprise! - [Cheering]"
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"and they've opened their hearts to us."
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"Yar, we just gave what we could."
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"Does anyone have change for a button?"
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"- Wow, this really restores your faith in- - ##[Continues]"
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"Lisa! Do you have to practice that stupid song now?"
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"- Sorry, Daddy. - Hey, heard some no-goodnik stole your tree."
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"Thanks, Ted."
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"Bart, this is Patches."
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"- And what was your name? - Poor Violet."
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"Oh, I don't like where this is going."
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"Hey, listen up, everybody."
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"The Simpsons are the best friends I ever had."
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"So I'm giving them the tip jar from the bar."
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"My goodness, there is over $15,000 here."
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"15,000 Missoulians? Holy "schlamola"!"
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"Well, if you mean the money..."
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"I suppose we'll just replace the items the burglar took-"
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"Boring! Spend it on something fun."
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"- Go wild! Ha! Right, Seymour? - Yes, something wild."
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"- Something stupid. - You only live once. - Speak for yourself."
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"Marge, kids, let's go buy some happiness."
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"God bless you, Bart Simpson."
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"I'd kiss you, but Doctor says I'm sick."
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"Is this car $15,000?"
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"What a deal. I'd be a sucker not to get it."
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"I don't know about this, Dad."
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"Shouldrt we give the money to charity or some- Ow!"
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"Oh, I'm sorry. I jabbed you with my pen."
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"## [Continues]"
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"Oh, will this Christmas never end?"
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"[Honking Horn]"
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"- Slow down, Homer. - Don't worry, honey."
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"I know exactly what I'm- Whoopsie."
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"Tap the brakes. Tap the brakes."
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"- Hit the brakes! - Floor it!"
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"- Go with it! - Shut up. One at a time."
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"Oh, that was close."
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"- Oh, I knew this would happen. - Well..."
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"at least the burglar's having a merry Christmas."
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"- Bart. You're up early. - I couldn't sleep."
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"What's wrong?"
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"- No burglar? - What does he mean, no burglar?"
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"I'm really sorry."
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"- You little- - [Homer] Lisa, no!"
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"- Your hands are too weak. - [Gagging]"
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"- Stop that. - I'm gonna kill him. - No, I'm killing him first."
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"- [All Shouting] - [Doorbell Rings]"
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"Kent Brockman here for a follow-up..."
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"with Springfield's favorite hard-luck family, the Simpsons."
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"Folks, any words for the Christmas thief, if he's watching?"
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"Eh, yes, Kent."
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"We may never find you and we should probably all stop looking."
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"But one thing's for sure, you do exist."
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"Strong words. Strong, bewildering words."
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"- Also, we want to thank the whole town for their generosity. - [Dog Growling]"
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"Hey, look. It's little Bart's fire truck."
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"[Gasps] Little Lisa's sweater. Little Homer's sausage."
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"Oh, it's true. We werert robbed."
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"That part we made up, but the rest is true. [Sobbing]"
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"Wait. He's just covering for me."
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"So the family never knew about any of this?"
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"Well, the boy told us, but that was after we filed a phony police report."
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"And after we spent all the townspeople's money."
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