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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Eagleton (S03E03)

"- What's going on here? - Hi, Lindsay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Introducing the Pawnee wiffle ball league."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's an idea that I came up with"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"after my best friend, Ann, over there"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"said she wanted to bash your head in with a baseball bat."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"There's no way we could afford that high-quality wood."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What if someone hits a home run?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"How will you get the ball back?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"One of the many Eagleton kids who signed up"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"will just pop over and grab it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, what are you doing tonight?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Why? - I don't know."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I thought maybe you could bust out your old jazz sweatshirt,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and you and I could go to Sullivan's for a beer."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, I do still have that sweatshirt."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I know you do."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Foul ball!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You did all this in a day? - Yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All right."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, did you hear the news?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ben and Chris want us to go into Conference Room "C""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"for a meeting."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Happy Birthday, Ron."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ann said you had a big party..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"sombreros, karaoke."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Why would I throw Ron Swanson an Ann Perkins party?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What about the giant list of things April was doing?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That was just a list of ways to mess with you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- She do 'em all? - She did indeed."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and The Dirty Dozen."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Artie from security is outside the door,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so no one will bother you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And a cab will be here whenever you're ready"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to take you home."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Thank you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Do you remember what you said to me five years ago"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"when Eagleton offered me that job,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I asked you for your advice?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Uh, "do whatever the hell you want."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What do I care?""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Right, but then, after,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"when I pressed you, what did you say?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I believe I said"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that I thought we worked well together"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and that I might disagree with your philosophy,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I respected you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And I said that you'll get"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but you only have one hometown."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's how I remember it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This, by the way, is a one-time-only situation."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Next year, your birthday party is gonna be a rager."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Mmm!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Mmm."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Good morning, Ron. Morning."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I know how much you enjoy paperwork, but don't hover."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Nice bench. Is that new?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What are you doing for your birthday on Friday?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Nothing. I never..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Aha!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, God."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's your birthday"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's your birthday, and I know when it is"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ron refuses to tell anyone when his birthday is."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"He's even had it redacted on all government documents."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Three years of investigations, phone calls,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Freedom of Information Act requests, and still, I had nothing,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"until a well-placed bribe to a gentleman at Baskin-Robbins revealed"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ron's birthday is on Friday."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Damn it. I was so careful."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, you blew it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All for a free scoop of Rum Raisin."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Was it worth it, Ron? Was it?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I command you to do nothing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm not gonna do nothing. I'm gonna do something."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And it's gonna be really big."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I have a lot of years to make up for."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I don't like loud noises and people making a fuss,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I especially don't like people celebrating"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"because they know a piece of private information about me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Plus, the whole thing is a scam."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They put up a fence."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Who?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No! What's that?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"There's a small park on the line between Pawnee and Eagleton, and..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Last night Eagleton put up a fence around their side"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to keep us disgusting Pawnee hobos off their precious land."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"There's even a security guard. You got to show Eagleton I.D. to get in."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Eagleton is a bunch of rich snobs."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"With a Harman Kardon Logic 7 surround-sound system."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Who builds a fence to keep kids out of a playground?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Three words, Lindsay Carlisle Shay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Who?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Lindsay Carlisle Shay and I used to be best friends."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We worked together at the Pawnee Parks Department."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Then she went to work in Eagleton"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and "fixed her deviated septum" and lost 35 pounds and lost something else."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What was it again?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, yeah. Her soul."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Is the Eagleton side really that much better than the Pawnee side?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"To be fair, yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Our side is this scrappy piece of land"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"where kids go to smash fluorescent light tubes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But it has a lot of heart."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's what people always say when something sucks."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We should stand up for our town, okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Pawneeans are just as good as Eagletonians,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and 80 pounds heavier."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"People in Eagleton are straight up mean to us."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I would never set foot over there."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But it's the only place that I can get my Bumble and Bumble hair care products,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so I'm there every eight days."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, well, I am on "Operation No More Fence,""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so I'm putting you in charge of "Operation Ron's Party, colon, Shock And Awe.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I am all over it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I just need you to do what's on that list."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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