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Clips from 30 Rock - MILF Island (S02E02)

"No, they meant it."
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"You know, it's funny, Lemon,"
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"I g-guess I'll always b-b-be that k-k-k-k-k-k..."
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"I know."
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"I just wanted to get you to admit it."
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"She wants to sing in every episode."
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"You knew. How?"
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"You say that word a lot more than you realize."
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"Now, I need you to initial here and sign here and here."
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"I got to admit, I never thought I'd get you."
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"about the extra baby foot, too."
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"I made that up. That was to make you feel better."
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"Oh. Ooh."
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"20 MILFs, 50 eighth-grade boys, no rules,"
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"and, tonight, one winner."
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"Welcome to "MILF Island.""
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"This show is the worst."
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"Didn't one of those MILFs die during production?"
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"She had too much champagne,"
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"and a monkey knocked her into some quicksand."
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"Miss Lemon, we might have a problem."
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"I went through the paper, looking for that article"
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"on speed dating that you asked about..."
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"...when I came across this."
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"Who did this?"
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"Who did what?"
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"This is from today's "Page Six" gossip column."
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""Which 'TGS With Tracy Jordan' staffer"
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"called corporate honcho Jack Donaghy a class-A moron?"
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"Donaghy is up for the GE chairmanship,"
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"but one employee has misgivings,"
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"adding, 'That guy can eat my poo."'"
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"Not me. Not me. Not me."
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"Mr. Donaghy would like to see you in his office immediately."
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"and I'm gonna watch it alone in my office."
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"Ooh! A dangler! Liz, I'm gonna get free food."
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"I'm stuck!"
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"Um, I don't. I don't really watch this show."
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"That Deborah is amazing."
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"Have you heard her story before she was cast on "MILF Island"?"
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"Wow, that's inspiring."
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"Wait, is that why you called me up here?"
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"Sir, I have Sumner Redstone calling to congratulate you."
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""MILF Island" is huge."
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"You think he'll call me Jackie-boy?"
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"Then I'll be in Erection Cove."
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"When you meet with Deborah,"
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"have her do her Indian-cab-driver impression."
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"Now, why would I meet with her?"
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"Because we're developing a spin-off,"
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"and I thought you could write it."
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"That show is kind of "lowest common denominator.""
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"Yeah, but Shakespeare never had a confessional shower"
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"sponsored by Dove pro-age."
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"So, you have seen the show. And why shouldn't you?"
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"It has sex, lies, puberty, betrayal, relay races."
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"I don't think eating bugs to earn tampons..."
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"Episode 9... 22 million viewers."
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"...is art."
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"Performance is an art. Writing is an art."
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"What we do is art."
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"Someone put too many farts in this engine!"
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"Well, no, thanks. I have integrity."
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"It's farting!"
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"It's farting!"
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"Myirt."
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"I'm just gonna..."
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"You know, if you Google the phrase "class-A moron,""
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"my name pops up first now."
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"So step aside, Randy Quaid."
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"It's not good timing for me professionally."
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"I will find out who did it. I'll beat it out of them."
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"No, no, here's how we're gonna play this situation."
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"...and see who breaks first."
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"Jonathan!"
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"Could you round up those idiots?"
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"Hey, buddies."
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"He knows, doesn't he?"
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"because I think he forgot that you're a person."
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"Come on, how long is this gonna take?"
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"and the tribunal was just about to make"
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"one of the last four MILFs hang up her bikini top."
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"Zalutha..."
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"you've kept it tight."
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"Heidi..."
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"Get off MILF Island."
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"No and no. You have to stay here in case Mr. Donaghy calls you in."
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"I can protect you. I just need to know who it is."
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"Fine. Everybody but me, close your eyes."
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"Whoever did it, raise your hand."
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"Oh, really mature, guys."
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"You are on your own."
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"Miss Lemon, can I have a word with you, please?"
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"We should form an alliance."
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"A what? An alliance."
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"We're the two biggest dirtbags around here."
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"They're gonna try to blame us."
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"Yeah, they do. You and me... couple of fat pervert losers."
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"My sister-in-law did kind of a makeover on me."
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"My shirt is caught on what feels like a very sharp... mechanism!"
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"Ow!"
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"What?!"
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"Well, I was thinking about this item in the newspaper,"
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"and something doesn't make sense."
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"What do you mean?"
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"Well, I know Toofer would never use the word "poo,""
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"so it's not him."
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"And Frank couldn't have done it, because he was with me all day,"
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"making fun of my haircut."
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"And, also, I saw you do it."
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"It was yesterday, downstairs."
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"Liz Lemon! I'm gonna miss the show this week."
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"Jack is sending me to do stand-up in Dubai."
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"I'm gonna do jokes on airplane food."
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"It's all new to them."
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"Well, don't blame me! Blame Jack."
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"You work for Jack Donaghy?"
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"Must be tough taking orders from a guy like that, huh?"
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"specializing in business gossip."
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"And he said, "Don't worry about it," but then..."
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