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Clips from Scrubs - My Boss's Free Haircut (S04E04)

"Why can't Carla let this go?"
Scrubs
"Looking at it was making me sad."
Scrubs
"- You were in a lot of pain. - Yeah."
Scrubs
"My sixth grade girlfriend taught me that."
Scrubs
"I cannot talk or be talked to by someone on the toilet."
Scrubs
"You told me yesterday, Elliot. I get it."
Scrubs
"Stop! My tummy's starting to rumble."
Scrubs
"Faster! Jump! Go for it!"
Scrubs
"You'll find that this first one is for an extra large mallet"
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah."
Scrubs
"when exactly was the last time you treated a patient?"
Scrubs
"Now you listen to me, Betty."
Scrubs
"when I heard the name Hooch."
Scrubs
"Quiet on the crapper?"
Scrubs
"OK. It's OK. I'll never talk to you on the crapper."
Scrubs
"I can't afford to soundproof my bathroom."
Scrubs
"Listen, the way I cheered up Turk, I made it all about him."
Scrubs
"Find some way to lift Carla's spirits up."
Scrubs
"I even got a cake."
Scrubs
"Junior, I don't know what you doing, but you better look for some bandages."
Scrubs
"You'll need them when I get through with you. Dr. Kelso."
Scrubs
"without your mini TV and your feet up."
Scrubs
"Just go right ahead and say what you want,"
Scrubs
"because Dr. Bob Kelso is back in action and he hasn't missed a step."
Scrubs
"Hello, Ms. Goldman. I'm your doctor."
Scrubs
"- You knew he was there? - Couldn't help myself."
Scrubs
"but it's nice to have Turk all to myself again."
Scrubs
"It's about to get a whole lot nicer."
Scrubs
"- Carla... - God, it has batteries."
Scrubs
"OK, moving on."
Scrubs
"From what I'm seeing on your fasting glucose and triglycerides,"
Scrubs
"Wasn't this kind of fun?"
Scrubs
"It stopped."
Scrubs
"What time is it?"
Scrubs
"Or he missed it."
Scrubs
"Still, I needed Elliot's help, so I decided to break the ice first."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God, what? I'm a little busy."
Scrubs
"Well, no more. Say "hooch" again, it will be the last thing you ever say."
Scrubs
"He was mad, wasn't he? Oh, Hooch is crazy."
Scrubs
"When do you want to meet up?"
Scrubs
"I didn't oversleep. I... decided not to go."
Scrubs
"Now calmly and eloquently explain you can't open it right now,"
Scrubs
"and he'll be on his way."
Scrubs
"I just..."
Scrubs
"I talked to our maid Consuela all the time."
Scrubs
"I found out he deported her for putting knives in the fork drawer."
Scrubs
"Holy frick!"
Scrubs
"What is it, Bob?"
Scrubs
"But my first patient today was a snot-nosed little punk"
Scrubs
"who wouldn't let me give him a rectal exam unless I said pretty please,"
Scrubs
"Blow it out your ass, Bob."
Scrubs
"Elliot."
Scrubs
"I didn't know what to say to Turk next, and then it happened."
Scrubs
"You want to take the easy way out with this surgery because you're scared."
Scrubs
"I have no idea why you're chiming in, but I'll say this to both of you."
Scrubs
"Because she wouldn't believe you."
Scrubs
"So you ready to come home?"
Scrubs
"You never know who you're gonna find in the cafeteria at 5am."
Scrubs
"Hi. I'd like two tickets to Million Dollar Baby."
Scrubs
"Or your friends who found time between shifts to discuss marital troubles."
Scrubs
"Wouldn't you be mad if your husband talked to his ex-girlfriend?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, but mostly because I had a husband."
Scrubs
"I'm going to stay at Elliot's for a few more days."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I figured as much. I brought you some things."
Scrubs
"Your slippers..."
Scrubs
"...and..."
Scrubs
"...remember that note on the toilet to remind me to put the seat down?"
Scrubs
"I wrote this the first time I forgot to look down and fractured my tailbone."
Scrubs
"Keep it together. We'll have brunch on Sunday and see where we're at."
Scrubs
"But I want to be where you're at while we try to figure out where we're at."
Scrubs
"The movie's about to start."
Scrubs
"Maybe it's because we're best friends, but I had a feeling Turk was depressed."
Scrubs
"I should call her."
Scrubs
"No, Olivia. I won't leave you alone"
Scrubs
"until you explain why you ignored me on the bus."
Scrubs
"I hope she's dead."
Scrubs
"The point is, in the meantime, don't spiral into a depression, OK?"
Scrubs
"So I'm taking you to a carnival tonight. What do you say?"
Scrubs
"I can't go to a carnival. It reminds me of Carla."
Scrubs
"- Why? - Dude, "carnival.""
Scrubs
"Remove the "niv" and switch the "l" and the "a," and you got "Carla.""
Scrubs
"Thank you so much for letting me stay here."
Scrubs
"Please. And I still have only one rule."
Scrubs
"I cannot talk or be talked to while on the toilet,"
Scrubs
"You say that, yet you still knocked this morning and asked if I wanted coffee."
Scrubs
"Oh, I just thought..."
Scrubs
"We'll pretend it never happened or I won't poo again for two months."
Scrubs
"Oh, God, this sucks! I hate March."
Scrubs
"Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'm sure Turk's just as miserable."
Scrubs
"milking it for all it's worth."
Scrubs
"All right, everybody, watch your backs! Skin doctor coming through!"
Scrubs
"You called for a consult?"
Scrubs
"Mr. Warner, do you see what you've made me do?"
Scrubs
"By again choosing to spend all of your free time"
Scrubs
"out on the surface of the sun until melanomas develop,"
Scrubs
"you forced me to pull the attending dermatologist away from a backne seminar"
Scrubs
"- Oh, God. - I just want to look good."
Scrubs
"You, my friend, look so damn leathery,"
Scrubs
"cinch you up with a belt and stick you under my mattress"
Scrubs
"so that you're good and broken in for the big game on Sunday."
Scrubs
"But I'm here to heal, not judge. I'm gonna write you some prescriptions."
Scrubs
"The second one is for a big, floppy hat that you're now to wear"
Scrubs
"Have a great day. You look like a purse."
Scrubs
"Perry, a word."
Scrubs
"Your skin's all messed up."
Scrubs
"Perry, I am sick and tired of listening to people complain"
Scrubs
"about being called fatties, boozers, losers, winos, tubbos,"
Scrubs
"I was saying "jokers" and I had coffee cake in my mouth."
Scrubs
"Unlike my masseuse Frida, you're not pretty enough to be rough."
Scrubs
"- Work on your bedside manner. - Say, Bobbo,"
Scrubs
"Congratulations. They just named you Chief of Medicine."
Scrubs
"Bingo! Smell you later, Betty."
Scrubs
"The Bobatron is actually going to try to connect with another human?"
Scrubs
"It is so on."
Scrubs
"- Guys, it's so on. - Awesome."
Scrubs
"We stayed up too late."
Scrubs
"Our first annual interracial "buddy movie" night. We had to."
Scrubs
"I'm pissed you thought Turner & Hooch were interracial buddies."
Scrubs
"I didn't know it was Tom Hanks and a dog."
Scrubs
"Don't paint me as racist because I thought "black guy""
Scrubs
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