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Clips from Seinfeld - The Chinese Restaurant (S02E02)

"If we decide to go at it."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I wanna get into a rumble."
Seinfeld
"Look at his little outfit."
Seinfeld
"I really hate this guy."
Seinfeld
"George..."
Seinfeld
"...who is that woman In the stripes?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know her."
Seinfeld
"It's not fair that people are seated first come, first served."
Seinfeld
"I feel like walking over there and taking some food..."
Seinfeld
"...off of somebody's plate."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you what."
Seinfeld
"There's 50 bucks in it for you if you do it."
Seinfeld
"What do you mean?"
Seinfeld
"You walk over to that table..."
Seinfeld
"...you pick up an egg roll, you don't say anything..."
Seinfeld
"...you eat it..."
Seinfeld
"...say, Thank you very much..."
Seinfeld
"...wipe your mouth, walk away..."
Seinfeld
"...I give you 50 bucks."
Seinfeld
"- What are they gonna do? - They won't do anything. In fact..."
Seinfeld
"...you'll be giving them a story to tell for the rest of their lives."
Seinfeld
"Fifty bucks? You'll give me 50 bucks?"
Seinfeld
"Fifty bucks."
Seinfeld
"That table over there."
Seinfeld
"The three couples."
Seinfeld
"...and then come back here and find out there was some little loophole..."
Seinfeld
"...like I didn't put mustard on it or something."
Seinfeld
"- Should I do it, George? - For 50 bucks?"
Seinfeld
"I'd put my face in their soup and blow."
Seinfeld
"All right. All right."
Seinfeld
"Here, hold this."
Seinfeld
"I know this sounds crazy, but the two men standing behind me..."
Seinfeld
"...will give me 50 bucks if I stand here and eat one of your egg rolls."
Seinfeld
"I'll give you 25 if you let me do it."
Seinfeld
"What did she say? What did she say?"
Seinfeld
"- Will someone tell me what she said? - Twenty-five dollars?"
Seinfeld
"- What happened? - Did you see that?"
Seinfeld
"- What were you telling them? - I offered them 25."
Seinfeld
"- They had no idea why. - Oh, God."
Seinfeld
"- George, the phone's free. - Hallelujah."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. I was waiting here."
Seinfeld
"- Where? I didn't see you. - I've been here for 10 minutes."
Seinfeld
"The point is I was here first."
Seinfeld
"Well, if you were here first..."
Seinfeld
"...you'd be holding the phone."
Seinfeld
"You know, we're living in a society!"
Seinfeld
"We're supposed to act in a civilized way!"
Seinfeld
"Does she care? No."
Seinfeld
"Does anyone ever display the slightest sensitivity..."
Seinfeld
"...over the problems of a fellow individual?"
Seinfeld
"No. No! A resounding no."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, sorry I took so long. - Oh, that's okay."
Seinfeld
"Really, don't worry about it."
Seinfeld
"How do people fast?"
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna go walk around and see what dishes look good."
Seinfeld
"I told my uncle I had a stomachache. Think he bought that?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, he probably bought it."
Seinfeld
"- I shouldn't even tell you. - Come on."
Seinfeld
"I'm with you."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's this little place with this little bathroom."
Seinfeld
"And it's, like, right there, you know? It's not even..."
Seinfeld
"...down a little hall or off in an alcove, you understand?"
Seinfeld
"There's no..."
Seinfeld
"...buffer zone."
Seinfeld
"So..."
Seinfeld
"...we start to fool around..."
Seinfeld
"...and it's the first time, and it's early in the going..."
Seinfeld
"...and I begin to perceive this impending..."
Seinfeld
"...intestinal requirement..."
Seinfeld
"...whose needs are going to surpass, by great lengths..."
Seinfeld
"...anything in the sexual realm."
Seinfeld
"So I know I'm gonna have to stop."
Seinfeld
"And as this is happening, I'm thinking even if I can somehow manage..."
Seinfeld
"...to momentarily..."
Seinfeld
"...I know that that bathroom is not gonna provide me..."
Seinfeld
"...with the privacy that I know I'm going to need."
Seinfeld
"This could only happen to you."
Seinfeld
"So..."
Seinfeld
"...I finally stop and say:"
Seinfeld
"Tatiana, I hope you don't take this the wrong way..."
Seinfeld
"...but I think it would be best if I left."
Seinfeld
"You said this to her after?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"During."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, boy. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Wow. So?"
Seinfeld
"So I'm dressing, and she's staring up at me..."
Seinfeld
"...struggling to compute this unprecedented turn of events."
Seinfeld
"And worst of all, I don't have the time to say it."
Seinfeld
"The only excuse she might possibly have accepted..."
Seinfeld
"...is if I told her I am, in reality, Batman."
Seinfeld
"And I'm very sorry, I just saw the Bat Signal."
Seinfeld
"It took me three days of phone calls to get her to agree to see me again."
Seinfeld
"Now she's waiting for me to call, and she's still on the phone."
Seinfeld
"I hate this place."
Seinfeld
"I don't know why we came here. I am never coming back here again."
Seinfeld
"Who is that woman?"
Seinfeld
"Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents?"
Seinfeld
"Remember? It was such a treat to go."
Seinfeld
"And they serve you this different food that you never saw before."
Seinfeld
"And they put it in front of you..."
Seinfeld
"...and it was such a delicious and exciting adventure."
Seinfeld
"And now I just feel like a big sweaty hog..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, she's off."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry, talk to that guy again. - What am I gonna say?"
Seinfeld
"Tell him we wanna catch a movie and that we're late."
Seinfeld
"Hey. What stinks in here?"
Seinfeld
"Mr. Cohen, haven't seen you for a couple of weeks."
Seinfeld
"Better place! Want a...? Want a table?"
Seinfeld
"No, just bring me a plate, and I'll eat here."
Seinfeld
"Bring him a plate. He'll eat here."
Seinfeld
"Come on, I'll give you a table."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me."
Seinfeld
"We've been waiting here."
Seinfeld
"Now, I know we were ahead of that guy. He just came in."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no. Mr. Cohen always here."
Seinfeld
"He's always here? What does that mean? What does that mean?"
Seinfeld
"Mr. Cohen, very nice man."
Seinfeld
"He live on Park Avenue."
Seinfeld
"Where am I?"
Seinfeld
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