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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Goes to a Play! (S02E02)

"Can you schedule Abattoir a massage for tomorrow?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I told you. It's all about appearances right now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"If I walk around the city with a stressed-out dog,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"people are gonna talk."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I mean, look at him. He's a wreck."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's a disaster!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mimi Kanassis, no shoes on the rug!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Who told you where I was living?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My Adderall dealer goes to school with Buckley."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"flashed my pearly whites at the doorman,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How could Julian do this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I know. Going public so soon?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is exactly what Stanley did to me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Closer than sisters."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is he just trying to hurt me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Ms. White, I'm sorry. - Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, I thought you were a Jeff Koons sculpture"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, I know. You'll get used to it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm gonna find a date and go to that wedding tomorrow,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"show everyone how great I'm doing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And it'll be someone even richer than Julian."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, maybe this new guy has a weird brother for me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ms. White, you worked so hard to get away from all that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm not letting you do this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Pull yourself together, Kanassis."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We're going out tonight, and you're my wingman."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes! Turtle gets his!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, hey!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yo, B, who's F-10-5?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They one of those Tejano gangs or something?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Of course!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Effé-ten-cinco."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, I think I heard of them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"maybe there'll be a gang war."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Someone gets shot."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But maybe they're not really dead."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"than a kid with undiagnosed dyslexia."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mm, everyone's looking at me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tucker Cobblepot,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"how do you keep getting younger?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"where they gather your head skin up"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and then cut new face holes in what used to be your neck."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's working."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh. Mmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I hid in the trunk of your taxi,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and I'm not letting you do this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Where were we?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh-ho-ho, right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You were about to kiss me with your dental slit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Julian and I are partners in a deal to frack in Central Park."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You are strictly off-limits."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I always hate that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sloppy thirds."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ms. White."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm sorry,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you kidding?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've been cut off."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Don't ever say that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Gosh, just forget about money."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You should be looking for the opposite of Mr. Voorhees..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A good guy who's faithful and honest"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and has blond hair"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and his hands are where his feet should be."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"If you looked ugly."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now to find someplace to buy a proper costume for tonight."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimono. New York."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Costume."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"where Beyoncé and the president live."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That poster at the poster store was right,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I wonder what computer owners are saying about me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A forum to advocate"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Respectful Asian Portrayals in Entertainment."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Shh! - Fine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I will take a silent face journey"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Good morning."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Welcome to Yappy Endings Dog Spa."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, no one knows."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm Douglas,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"May I say, you look even younger than you did"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"on the cover of HAMPTONS magazine last year."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I do that skin therapy where you put on a helmet full of bees."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Anyway, this is my dog-a-poo, Abattoir."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is Abattoir?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I thought you two were sisters."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Stop. - Oh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ooh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They called you a Hitler?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They named me one of their top five Hitlers of all time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Real Hitler wasn't even on the list!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why am I not allowed to be Murasaki?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I-she am-was me-her."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus, those guys are a bunch of hosers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How can they criticize something they haven't even seen?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Just anonymous hosers criticizing geniuses."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is all your fault! You made me do this!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Anonymous insults like that are never cool..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"except when you write wash me on a dirty car."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's just funny, 'cause, like, is it the car saying it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey. You see that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is Effé-ten-cinco territory, putas!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, yeah, you... You better keep drivin'."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Effé-ten-cinco, bacon!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, goodness."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"See? I took your advice."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"just like you said."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"YOLO!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How is this what I told you to do?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm a sugar mommy, and he's my trophy boy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Another rich guy would've made it look like I needed money."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"With Doug on my arm, I'm the rich and powerful one."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Imagine how mad Julian will be."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You just switched places with him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're Julian now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's ridiculous."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm helping him with his... What was it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Uh, DJ career."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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