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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Goes to a Play! (S02E02)

"Like how Julian helped you publish that cookbook?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, I'm the one who found the cookbook mine was based on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't believe you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You might as well have been his dog."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And now you're doing the same thing with this poor guy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"while you've been off buying tuxedos and invisible chairs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But you don't deserve my help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What's happening?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, my sweet, fancy Jesus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm a star. You're all dead to me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Does it have to be a Patti, or did I do that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, I mentioned your workshop to them..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, no, no, it's great. They apologized."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I told them all about you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and the webchat moderator himself, Masuta69, typed,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We really care that he's your friend."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Could you guys be any cooler?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The Internet doesn't talk like that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The Internet talks like Chandler."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm so sorry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We really care that he's your friend."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Could you guys be any cooler?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You can't tell when someone's being sarcastic on the Internet!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"There he is!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What is this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I mean, do you think I'm an Einstein or not?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I didn't think you were real."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I assumed you were just him"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"pretending to be a white girl who couldn't spell."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God, this is my audience."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This show is an abomination."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, the whole portrayal is offensive."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A geisha? Seriously?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Typical."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why couldn't she be a successful businesswoman"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"or a college professor"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"or a stay-at-home dad?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But if you actually watch the whole show..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But this is about a past life that I actually lived."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I was Murasaki."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Past lives? That's idiotic."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, so past lives are idiotic?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hindus are just as much a part of this organization as anyone,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"probably more than this white guy!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm transracial, you dumb dick."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Wow. - Oh, God!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Maybe I could broker a truce with the Banana Boys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know, Come to this thing,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Lady, I just work for the phone company."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This says FiOS."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You can't do this to my home."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, hey, Sesame Street was based on this neighborhood."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'Cause there's a guy who lives in a garbage can,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that only I can see."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't know what to tell you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Doug, what do you think?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Conflict or no conflict?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Whatever, baby. You always look wicky-wicky amazing..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look what you did!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Bad Doug!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't return it now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sorry, but you're so rich."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No! Bad dog!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Bad Doug!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy was right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm no better than Julian."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're not a dog, Douglas."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm whatever you want me to be."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's the deal, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Everything the Power does, it does in a circle."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"with a dream of being a stand-up comedian."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- DJ. - Ugh. Still?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Go follow your dream."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Go hold your hands just above a laptop"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But what about the wedding?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"where his hands should be?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's respecting people, including myself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm proud of you, Jacqueline."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is my fault."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ugh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The Internet is ruining everything."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What's the point of any of it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I mean, there's no fighting the man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We should just give up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but you will never fit in here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I should just give up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We got way bigger problems down here, man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I should just give up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"your grapes are getting ruined out there in the sun!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I should just give up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You? Ride after fox?!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're right. I should just give up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, you're gonna boo?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Boo! Boo!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My first memory is the willow tree."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ A servant ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ The snow begins to fall ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ And the baby cries ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Be quiet, you Hitlers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ How can I be happy ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Even when Bon Festival is here? ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ I don't have nice clothes ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I play my samisen for the men,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but they look right through me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I cannot stay here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm pregnant."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And I returned to my village"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Just beyond this place ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ I can see ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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