You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from King of the Hill - Hilloween (S02E02)

"Eat Wells, sugar-free, low-fat Fun Bars."
King of the Hill
"No one said you could touch my candy, anyway."
King of the Hill
"The ancient Druids celebrated Halloween..."
King of the Hill
"And then they danced."
King of the Hill
"Boy, I'm sure glad your grandma kept my old costume!"
King of the Hill
"You know, I used to have a laugh that went along with this."
King of the Hill
"Try it with me, son."
King of the Hill
"Scary?"
King of the Hill
"It was disturbing."
King of the Hill
"Uncle Hank, Aunt Peggy, I have terrible news!"
King of the Hill
"Halloween is a satanic holiday. It was invented by the Drewish!"
King of the Hill
"Junie Harper says so."
King of the Hill
"Luanne, Halloween is just good clean fun. It's got nothing to do with the devil."
King of the Hill
"Well, what is wrong with you?"
King of the Hill
"and all she wanted to do was show it to us."
King of the Hill
"So, you told him about the Druids, and the candy corn..."
King of the Hill
"and he still thinks Halloween is just for fun."
King of the Hill
"I felt so stupid."
King of the Hill
"Oh, no."
King of the Hill
"First of all, in the eyes of the Lord, you're a genius."
King of the Hill
"The devil fools you into thinking you're stupid..."
King of the Hill
"because it makes it easier for him to trick you."
King of the Hill
"- Do you see what I'm saying? - I'm not sure."
King of the Hill
"These days, Satan's getting very popular."
King of the Hill
"That's why, this Halloween, I'm sponsoring a Hallelujah House."
King of the Hill
"What's that?"
King of the Hill
"It's a righteous alternative to those wicked haunted houses."
King of the Hill
"Oh, no!"
King of the Hill
"Uncle Hank is running a haunted house, down at Bobby's school."
King of the Hill
"This is a school. You have to take that cigarette outside."
King of the Hill
"Hank, you know Mrs. Junie Harper. She has some concerns."
King of the Hill
"So our Constitution guarantees a separation of Church and state."
King of the Hill
"No."
King of the Hill
"That has got to go."
King of the Hill
"I want those kids to have a real scary Halloween."
King of the Hill
"You know, I'm starting to feel..."
King of the Hill
"like the whole idea of a house of horrors is wrong."
King of the Hill
"Or we could make it a house of pancakes."
King of the Hill
"Look, we either do this haunted house the right way..."
King of the Hill
"or I'm not doing it at all. Now, what's it gonna be?"
King of the Hill
"We blew our budget fighting wheelchair ramps and left-handed scissors."
King of the Hill
"So that's how it is?"
King of the Hill
"Boomhauer, grab Hagatha."
King of the Hill
"Well, I don't know. Kids sure do love pancakes."
King of the Hill
"There's nothing in the Constitution about separation of Church and garage."
King of the Hill
"See, Junie Harper says a haunted house is the devil's mousetrap..."
King of the Hill
"and fun is the cheese."
King of the Hill
"Luanne, just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep talking."
King of the Hill
"Junie says I'm smart, so don't try to trick me into thinking I'm not."
King of the Hill
"Now, hold on. Luanne is not stupid."
King of the Hill
"And neither is Hank's idea for a haunted house."
King of the Hill
"- But Junie Harper says... - "Junie Harper says...""
King of the Hill
"it wasn't Junie Harper's face in the stained-glass window..."
King of the Hill
"at Arlen First Methodist."
King of the Hill
"Now, don't panic. Treats are only half of trick-or-treat."
King of the Hill
"It's time you learn to give as well as receive."
King of the Hill
"Bobby! Of course I am."
King of the Hill
"It's a sign of respect."
King of the Hill
"You know who could use a little respect right now? Dale."
King of the Hill
"Joshua!"
King of the Hill
"Kitty! Joshua!"
King of the Hill
"I'm suddenly reminded of a Bible quote:"
King of the Hill
""Do unto others...""
King of the Hill
"I don't know, Dad."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, that attitude is a little immature."
King of the Hill
"Now, come on."
King of the Hill
"I am not afraid of you Satanists!"
King of the Hill
"I won't be afraid. I'll stand up to all of you."
King of the Hill
"Well, there must be some mistake. My Bobby?"
King of the Hill
"Son, did you pay Mrs. Harper a little visit tonight?"
King of the Hill
"- Yes. - Bobby!"
King of the Hill
"Well, of course it is."
King of the Hill
"of your whole family's anti-Christian values."
King of the Hill
"You hold it right there, Junie Harper. You are out of order."
King of the Hill
"So, do not try to one-up me, because I will one-up yours."
King of the Hill
""The complacency of fools will destroy them." Proverbs."
King of the Hill
"You're a regular Halloween hell-raiser, just like your old man."
King of the Hill
"I'll never use toilet paper in anger again."
King of the Hill
"He's a Satanist, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"- It's true. - Oh, dang!"
King of the Hill
"That's why Uncle Hank smirched my ideas about Halloween."
King of the Hill
"The devil doesn't want you to know the truth."
King of the Hill
"Did your father ever make you drink blood?"
King of the Hill
"Think, Bobby. What else can you remember?"
King of the Hill
"Where are the vampires and monsters and ghosts?"
King of the Hill
"It's just liver. It's not gonna kill you."
King of the Hill
"The vandalism upon my house..."
King of the Hill
"can only be described as a hate crime."
King of the Hill
"Somebody hates me."
King of the Hill
"Last night, my house was also attacked by Satanists."
King of the Hill
"Well, I think it is perfect."
King of the Hill
"Although I still think "Hank Heck" works just as well."
King of the Hill
"What about the trick-or-treaters?"
King of the Hill
"There won't be any trick-or-treaters."
King of the Hill
"See, Uncle Hank?"
King of the Hill
"You said I was wrong, but now everyone agrees with me."
King of the Hill
"You agree with any idiot who says anything."
King of the Hill
"Luanne didn't cancel Halloween. Junie Harper did."
King of the Hill
"I don't care what she does."
King of the Hill
"the true meaning of Halloween, come hell or high water."
King of the Hill
"My dad sure wants me to be at that haunted house."
King of the Hill
"I woke up without tonsils."
King of the Hill
"I'm scared, Luanne."
King of the Hill
"I can't help you, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"But I know who can."
King of the Hill
"Mrs. Junie Harper."
King of the Hill
"I heard Satanists like my dad always sacrifice virgins."
King of the Hill
"Where is everybody?"
King of the Hill
"I can't believe they're staying home because of a curfew."
King of the Hill
"And where the heck is Bobby?"
King of the Hill
"I sent them to the store for more Hi-C."
King of the Hill
"Hank, while you're out there, turn off my hose."
King of the Hill
"First of all, I'd like to say "halo" to everybody."
King of the Hill
"What have we here?"
King of the Hill
"get the best of them."
King of the Hill
"I guess the old saying "Sex kills.""
King of the Hill
"Dinner's ready. Where's Grandpa?"
King of the Hill
"That's your grandpa?"
King of the Hill
"Oh, no! He's eating the baby. Stop him!"
King of the Hill
"- Honey? - We can't."
King of the Hill
Show more clips