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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"- Great. Way to keep a low profile. - Thanks."
Archer (2009)
"[CHUCKLES]"
Archer (2009)
"BACKUS: This is the AmPetCo gas pipeline."
Archer (2009)
"Runs right underneath these swamps, supplying almost 20 percent..."
Archer (2009)
"...of America's liquid natural gas demand. ARCHER: Right."
Archer (2009)
"- But there's a pig launcher here. ARCHER: Is that what it sounds like?"
Archer (2009)
"It's the only section above ground, so if Gray wants to attack our pipeline..."
Archer (2009)
"- He'll have to do it there. ARCHER: Right."
Archer (2009)
"So we'll set up a defensive perimeter at the launcher and catch him when he tries."
Archer (2009)
"Can I get the oyster po' boy..."
Archer (2009)
"...and a side of crawfish étouffée? I'm not sure I'm gonna like it."
Archer (2009)
"- Archer. Archer. - Just an entrée? Okay. Uh..."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Archer. - Okay, so, the po' boy, the... Hello?"
Archer (2009)
"- Wow, speaking of disastrous... - Speaking of shut up."
Archer (2009)
"Think about what will happen to those wetlands if that pipeline explodes."
Archer (2009)
"Screw the damn swamps, think of what'll happen to AmPetCo's profit margin."
Archer (2009)
"- What? - Big money."
Archer (2009)
"Huge tax credits from that hippie Democrat Congress..."
Archer (2009)
"...just for making a few simple changes around here."
Archer (2009)
"Replacing all the lights with high-efficiency fluorescents..."
Archer (2009)
"...putting low-flow fixtures on plumbing."
Archer (2009)
"Um..."
Archer (2009)
"I don't even understand why we have a car battery!"
Archer (2009)
"Pretty much."
Archer (2009)
"Good. Because I'm not leaving money on the table."
Archer (2009)
"...we are going to make this place lean and green."
Archer (2009)
"Typical corporate bullshit."
Archer (2009)
"Thirty acres of wetlands disappear every single day..."
Archer (2009)
"...but all you care about is how much gas you pump out."
Archer (2009)
"- Hey, we're just supplying a demand. - Yeah, AmPetCo's demand for huge profits."
Archer (2009)
"Well, some of those huge profits are paying ISIS to protect that pipeline."
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, sounds like a win-win. - Just get out there and do your job."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, I will. If you will excuse me."
Archer (2009)
"I should go with her."
Archer (2009)
"I don't think room service is coming."
Archer (2009)
"REMY: Should have called first."
Archer (2009)
"That's the only airboat around for 50 miles, and it reserved."
Archer (2009)
"- What do you mean? - Is that not self-explanatory?"
Archer (2009)
"Look, this is kind of an emergency. Can't we work something out?"
Archer (2009)
"If you use that money to buy a time machine..."
Archer (2009)
"...go back and be the first person to reserve that boat."
Archer (2009)
"- You sure about that? - Yup."
Archer (2009)
"That's good, because I've waited my entire life to say this exact phrase."
Archer (2009)
"I'm commandeering this airboat."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Sorry. ARCHER: Whoo!"
Archer (2009)
"Annie?"
Archer (2009)
"Annie."
Archer (2009)
"Well, that's just great."
Archer (2009)
"Now both my dogs is dead."
Archer (2009)
"[REMY SOBS]"
Archer (2009)
"Stupid efficient Canadian light bulbs. I can barely even see what I'm doing."
Archer (2009)
"One for each cat, duh."
Archer (2009)
"For God's sake, Pam. Have you no sense of decency?"
Archer (2009)
"That bathroom's like a war crime."
Archer (2009)
"Don't blame me, it's those new low-flow toilets."
Archer (2009)
"With the old ones you could flush a dachshund puppy."
Archer (2009)
"- I mean, not that you would, but... - Next time use the..."
Archer (2009)
"Da..."
Archer (2009)
"- The what? - Thanks, Cyril."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Whoo-hoo!"
Archer (2009)
"Seriously, this must be what it's like to have sex with me."
Archer (2009)
"- How can an airboat be selfish? - Nope, can't hear you. I'm too happy."
Archer (2009)
"You can't hear me because you're redlining the engine."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, thank you, certified airboat mechanic."
Archer (2009)
"Now, where's this pig launcher thing?"
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, until you blow the damn engine, so... - Lana!"
Archer (2009)
"[LANA CLEARS THROAT]"
Archer (2009)
"[LANA CLEARS THROAT]"
Archer (2009)
"No? Nothing?"
Archer (2009)
"You just sit there like the African Queen."
Archer (2009)
"- The African Queen was the boat. - No, it was Audrey..."
Archer (2009)
"The white queen of Africa."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, back then, Hollywood was pretty weird about the whole race thing."
Archer (2009)
"Like Amos and Andy were white, a white guy played Charlie Chan."
Archer (2009)
"- Archer. - Pretty sure Tonto was a Jew."
Archer (2009)
"- Stop. - What?"
Archer (2009)
"- But I do really wish there was a gator. - Hey, come on, not even as a joke, Lana."
Archer (2009)
"- It so wasn't. - I said I was sorry."
Archer (2009)
"Tell this wildlife you're sorry when the pipeline blows..."
Archer (2009)
"Everything out here either wants to eat me or give me malaria."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Oh. - No thanks to you, Queen Audrey."
Archer (2009)
"[LANA GROANS]"
Archer (2009)
"...so I think I've earned a kebab."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, too bad. - But..."
Archer (2009)
"Your lab uses more electricity than the rest of ISIS put together."
Archer (2009)
"Yes, and I need every single watt."
Archer (2009)
"No, we all have to pitch in to make ISIS green."
Archer (2009)
"Look at me, chopping ice for a Tom Collins like a field hand."
Archer (2009)
"- But l... - Ooh. Or do I want a mint julep?"
Archer (2009)
"[BEEPING]"
Archer (2009)
"Also, yes."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, good, great idea. Do the one thing that could possibly make it hotter."
Archer (2009)
"You gotta sear them first, it locks in the flavor."
Archer (2009)
"And if you're hot, and also somewhat bitchy, drink a beer."
Archer (2009)
"I don't want a beer, Archer, I want water."
Archer (2009)
"Your funeral. God knows what kind of parasites are swimming around in it."
Archer (2009)
"Not swamp water, you ass. Bottled."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, you are shitting me. - I know, right?"
Archer (2009)
"A rainbow should shoot out every time you open it."
Archer (2009)
"[BLEEPING]"
Archer (2009)
"Hurry, put your hands in the swamp."
Archer (2009)
"[LANA GROANS]"
Archer (2009)
"[WHIMPERING]"
Archer (2009)
"[SQUEALS]"
Archer (2009)
"How you doing, buddy?"
Archer (2009)
"Because dry ice is something crazy, like, negative a hundred degrees."
Archer (2009)
"- I need you to not talk to me. - I know."
Archer (2009)
"And I know you're in a lot of pain, so just try to relax."
Archer (2009)
"Why are you still talk...? Ow!"
Archer (2009)
"Morphine? Damn it, I don't need..."
Archer (2009)
"[SIGHS]"
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah? - Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"That actually feels way better."
Archer (2009)
"Good, get up. You're sitting on the beer."
Archer (2009)
"All right, so wait a second. What are your three biggest fears?"
Archer (2009)
"- No, hush, I'm trying to fish. - No, don't shoot the fish."
Archer (2009)
"- No, but... - Or bass or whatever. What's in here?"
Archer (2009)
"One lousy black rhino, one lousy Bengal tiger."
Archer (2009)
"One lousy Lorax."
Archer (2009)
"Since when are you such a radical environmentalist?"
Archer (2009)
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