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Clips from Silicon Valley - Minimum Viable Product (S01E01)

"Wow, that doesn't sound at all downgraded."
Silicon Valley
"The file size is like, half."
Silicon Valley
"And look how fast this search is."
Silicon Valley
"Holy shit, how did it find a match that fast?"
Silicon Valley
"It's like it's searching compressed files?"
Silicon Valley
"No way."
Silicon Valley
"Look at that weissman score."
Silicon Valley
"2.89."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, where have you two been?"
Silicon Valley
"We're playing the multi-channel router team in five minutes."
Silicon Valley
"Ok, how the hell did he do this?"
Silicon Valley
"And the compression is totally lossless."
Silicon Valley
"And he's somehow figured out a way to do a search on a compressed data space."
Silicon Valley
"- Holy shit. - Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"And I don't think he even realizes what he has here."
Silicon Valley
"He's using it for some silly songwriter app."
Silicon Valley
"All these guys are like that, they're all about consumer facing."
Silicon Valley
"Right, but you take something like this,"
Silicon Valley
"make it business facing and use it for enterprise?"
Silicon Valley
"The applications could be endless."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, I thought you were a satanist?"
Silicon Valley
"I'm a LaVeyan Satanist"
Silicon Valley
"with some theistic tendencies."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, some theistic tendencies."
Silicon Valley
"Well then, what's with the cross?"
Silicon Valley
"It's an upside down cross."
Silicon Valley
"Not from here it isn't."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, I see, you know what you should do?"
Silicon Valley
"You should get another tattoo that says, this side up on it."
Silicon Valley
"How does this translate into Farsi?"
Silicon Valley
"That's not the language I speak."
Silicon Valley
"Frontier Airlines just happened to like mine, Aviato."
Silicon Valley
"And that's how I got to where I am."
Silicon Valley
"So... what do you got?"
Silicon Valley
"Ok, here it is."
Silicon Valley
"Bit Soup."
Silicon Valley
"It's like alphabet soup but"
Silicon Valley
"it's ones and zeros instead of the letters."
Silicon Valley
"'Cause it's binary. You know, binary is just ones and zeroes."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, I know what binary is."
Silicon Valley
"Jesus Christ! I memorized the hexadecimal times tables"
Silicon Valley
"when I was 14 writing machine code!"
Silicon Valley
"Ok. Ask me what nine times f is."
Silicon Valley
"It's fleventyfive."
Silicon Valley
"I do not need you telling me what binary is,"
Silicon Valley
"just like I don't need you thinking about soup or taking pictures of it."
Silicon Valley
"I need you thinking about apps, software, websites."
Silicon Valley
"This is Silicon Valley, all right, not..."
Silicon Valley
"Paris, Texas."
Silicon Valley
"That's where Campbell's soup is."
Silicon Valley
"It's the Hooli number again."
Silicon Valley
"It's probably those brogrammers."
Silicon Valley
"Can't wait to tell me how stupid my website is."
Silicon Valley
"Assholes."
Silicon Valley
"Hello, Richard Hendricks. I'm a total fucking retard."
Silicon Valley
"Uh. Hi, this is Jared Dunn calling from Hooli."
Silicon Valley
"I'm calling a behalf of Gavin Belson."
Silicon Valley
"I didn't... hi."
Silicon Valley
"Gavin is very excited about your Pied Piper application"
Silicon Valley
"and we were wondering if you could come in"
Silicon Valley
"for a sit-down with us."
Silicon Valley
"- Are you available now. - Ok."
Silicon Valley
"- Sure. Yes. - Ok, we'll be here."
Silicon Valley
"Good-bye."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, I have a meeting with Gavin Belson."
Silicon Valley
"He likes Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"- Holy shit. - I own 10 percent of Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"You said it was a shitty idea."
Silicon Valley
"It was a shitty idea."
Silicon Valley
"I'm not sure what it is now."
Silicon Valley
"- What time's the meeting? - Right now."
Silicon Valley
"I'm gonna need a better shirt."
Silicon Valley
"Holy shit."
Silicon Valley
"What the fuck am I waiting for? See ya."
Silicon Valley
"Well, it's like Gavin always says, it takes change to make change."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, I think I've seen that written around."
Silicon Valley
"- Hey. - Hi."
Silicon Valley
"Gavin is running 30 minutes late"
Silicon Valley
"but you should know he is very excited to see you, Richard."
Silicon Valley
"He's with his spiritual advisor."
Silicon Valley
"He shouldn't be that much longer."
Silicon Valley
"I'm a VP here and I only get to see him about ten minutes a month."
Silicon Valley
"But that 10 minutes is just incredible."
Silicon Valley
"I heard Richard Hendricks was here."
Silicon Valley
"Have you ever met Gavin before?"
Silicon Valley
"- No. - No?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh, I told him, it's amazing."
Silicon Valley
"That hardly begins to describe it."
Silicon Valley
"It's weird."
Silicon Valley
"They always travel in groups of five."
Silicon Valley
"These programmers, there's always a tall skinny white guy,"
Silicon Valley
"short skinny Asian guy,"
Silicon Valley
"fat guy with a ponytail,"
Silicon Valley
"some guy with crazy facial hair"
Silicon Valley
"and then an East Indian guy."
Silicon Valley
"It's like they trade guys until they all have the right group."
Silicon Valley
"You clearly have a great understanding of humanity."
Silicon Valley
"And Gavin said I'm not humiliating you,"
Silicon Valley
"I'm elevating you."
Silicon Valley
"Ah, Gavin."
Silicon Valley
"This is Richard."
Silicon Valley
"It's Peter Gregory."
Silicon Valley
"Ah, no."
Silicon Valley
"Come on, Big Head."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, I'm coming. Slow..."
Silicon Valley
"Why are you going that fast?"
Silicon Valley
"We've got a meeting with Gavin Belson. Pick up the pace."
Silicon Valley
"- We honestly don't. - Come on."
Silicon Valley
"I'm actually outside of Gavin Belson's office right now, Mr. Gregory."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, here he comes, so can I call you back in..."
Silicon Valley
"So, Richard Hendricks is here!"
Silicon Valley
"There you are, Richard."
Silicon Valley
"So sorry these gentleman have kept you waiting."
Silicon Valley
"- That's fine. - So here's the thing."
Silicon Valley
"I love what you did."
Silicon Valley
"- Really? - Fill him in, Jared."
Silicon Valley
"Now, as you know, Hooli is seen as possibly"
Silicon Valley
"the most progressive company in the world."
Silicon Valley
"Part of that is Gavin's commitment to social justice,"
Silicon Valley
"but part of it is his personal commitment"
Silicon Valley
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