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Clips from Silicon Valley - Minimum Viable Product (S01E01)

"Whoo. Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Somebody make some motherfucking noise in here!"
Silicon Valley
"Fuck these people."
Silicon Valley
"Man, this place is unbelievable."
Silicon Valley
"Fucking Goolybib, man."
Silicon Valley
"Those guys build a mediocre piece of software,"
Silicon Valley
"that might be worth something someday,"
Silicon Valley
"and now they live here."
Silicon Valley
"There's money flying all over Silicon Valley"
Silicon Valley
"but none of it ever seems to hit us."
Silicon Valley
"What the hell are you eating?"
Silicon Valley
"Liquid shrimp. It's 200 dollars a quart."
Silicon Valley
"Wylie Dufresne made it."
Silicon Valley
"How does it taste?"
Silicon Valley
"Like how I would imagine cum tastes."
Silicon Valley
"You guys taking it all in?"
Silicon Valley
"Because this is what it looks like when"
Silicon Valley
"Google acquires your company for over 200 million dollars."
Silicon Valley
"Look Dustin Moskovitz."
Silicon Valley
"Elon Musk. Eric Schmidt."
Silicon Valley
"Whatever the fuck the guy's name is who created Photrio."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, Kid Rock is the poorest person here."
Silicon Valley
"Apart from you guys."
Silicon Valley
"Ok, there's 40 billion dollars"
Silicon Valley
"of net worth, walking around this party."
Silicon Valley
"And you guys are standing around drinking shrimp"
Silicon Valley
"and talking about what cum tastes like."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, I heard that. You guys live in my Incubator"
Silicon Valley
"you've got to network. That's why I brought you here."
Silicon Valley
"I got us in here."
Silicon Valley
"Javeed over there is my ex-room-mate."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, but I drove."
Silicon Valley
"Eric Schmidt, Erlich Bachman."
Silicon Valley
"It's amazing how the men and women at these things"
Silicon Valley
"always separate like this."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, every party in Silicon Valley ends up like a hasidic wedding."
Silicon Valley
"Not even the Goolybib guys were talking to girls."
Silicon Valley
"They don't have to, Big Head."
Silicon Valley
"This house talks to girls."
Silicon Valley
"Hello! Whoo!"
Silicon Valley
"I got seven words for you."
Silicon Valley
"I love"
Silicon Valley
"Goolybib's integrated-"
Silicon Valley
"multi-platform-functionality!"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah! Whoo!"
Silicon Valley
"But seriously,"
Silicon Valley
"you know, a few days ago, when we were sitting down with Barak Obama,"
Silicon Valley
"I turned to these guys and said,"
Silicon Valley
"ok, you know, we're making a lot of money."
Silicon Valley
"And yes, we're disrupting digital media."
Silicon Valley
"But most importantly"
Silicon Valley
"we're making the world a better place."
Silicon Valley
"Through constructing elegant"
Silicon Valley
"hierarchies for maximum code reuse and extensibility."
Silicon Valley
"So everyone."
Silicon Valley
"Here's to many more nights just like this one."
Silicon Valley
"Take it away, my good friend, Kid Rock."
Silicon Valley
"What a dick."
Silicon Valley
"Big Head, there is a personal ad section"
Silicon Valley
"on this asperger site."
Silicon Valley
"Holy shit, this one is looking for"
Silicon Valley
"a relationship that has the potential to become"
Silicon Valley
"sexual in nature."
Silicon Valley
"Boy, is she on the spectrum."
Silicon Valley
"She can't even make eye contact with the camera."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, can I talk to you for a second?"
Silicon Valley
"- Solo. - Mm-hmm."
Silicon Valley
"We need to talk about Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"What about it? The website's up and running,"
Silicon Valley
"I'm just redesigning the compression. It just needs users."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, no shit."
Silicon Valley
"But even if somebody wanted to use it"
Silicon Valley
"they wouldn't be able to figure out how to. It's incomprehensible."
Silicon Valley
"Now, Richard, when you pitched me"
Silicon Valley
"Pied Piper you said it was gonna be, the Google of music."
Silicon Valley
"Which is a really rad way to pitch something."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, I liked it. I thought it had applications."
Silicon Valley
"No, it has all that. Look, when it blows up,"
Silicon Valley
"and it will once it reaches a critical mass of users,"
Silicon Valley
"Pied Piper will be able to search the whole world"
Silicon Valley
"of recorded music to find out if there's a match to see if"
Silicon Valley
"you're infringing on any copyrighted material."
Silicon Valley
"So, if you're a song writer or a band..."
Silicon Valley
"Ok, first of all, nobody gives a shit"
Silicon Valley
"about stealing other people's music, ok?"
Silicon Valley
"Everybody involved in the music industry"
Silicon Valley
"is either stealing it or sharing it."
Silicon Valley
"They're all a bunch of assholes, especially Radiohead."
Silicon Valley
"- Look, Richard... - No."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, they're assholes."
Silicon Valley
"Now, look, Richard, if you want to live here,"
Silicon Valley
"you've got to deliver."
Silicon Valley
"I can't have dead weight at my Incubator, ok?"
Silicon Valley
"Either that, or show some promise for fuck's sake."
Silicon Valley
"Like NipAlert, Big Head's app."
Silicon Valley
"It gives you the location of a woman with erect nipples."
Silicon Valley
"Now, that's something people want."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, you need to get in touch with humanity."
Silicon Valley
"When I sold my company, Aviato,"
Silicon Valley
"I wanted to give back. That's why I started this place,"
Silicon Valley
"to do something big. To make a difference."
Silicon Valley
"You know, like Steve."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, Jobs or Wozniak?"
Silicon Valley
"Steve Jobs or Steve..."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, I heard you."
Silicon Valley
"- Which one? - Jobs."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code."
Silicon Valley
"You just disappeared up your own asshole."
Silicon Valley
"- You know that? You did. - Well, technically..."
Silicon Valley
"Big Head, I'm gonna be meditating."
Silicon Valley
"He knew how to package the ideas, but it was Wozniak that..."
Silicon Valley
"What is Hooli? Excellent question."
Silicon Valley
"Hooli isn't just another high tech company."
Silicon Valley
"Hooli isn't just about software."
Silicon Valley
"Hooli. Hooli is about people."
Silicon Valley
"Hooli is about innovative technology"
Silicon Valley
"that makes a difference,"
Silicon Valley
"transforming the world as we know it."
Silicon Valley
"Making the world a better place,"
Silicon Valley
"through minimal message oriented transport layers."
Silicon Valley
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